


Through and Through

by Zack_Fairs_Booty



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: College AU, Fluff, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Smut, Trans Akaashi - Freeform, Trans Hinata, Trans Kenma, Transphobia, but for now, genderfluid oikawa, ill add to the tags as the fic goes on, kind of, transphobic content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-28 05:36:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 38,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5079805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zack_Fairs_Booty/pseuds/Zack_Fairs_Booty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A college AU where Kenma is trans and Kuroo is fucking head over heels for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Something Shakespearean

**Author's Note:**

> Yo. So I've been working on this for a while now (neglecting my other fic, "Even if it Hurts," rip) but I really like it and I hope you will like it as well :) Forewarning, there will be angst. There will be smut. There might be light bdsm? Who knows. Stick around and find out? :)

“You need to come out of your shell a little bit!” Hinata prodded, liquor on his breath. His ginger locks were stuck to his forehead with sweat, as if he had just got done playing an intense volleyball match. He clung to Kenma’s arm, dragging him towards a small double story house.

Kenma’s gut churned. The last thing he wanted to do tonight was be surrounded by a bunch of rambunctious college students. Hinata had begged him to come out just so Kenma could walk him home, but now his plans had changed.

“I just don’t feel comfortable here, Shouyou.” Kenma said quietly, tugging at the hem of his chunky knit maroon sweater. “I’ll just go back home alone. It’s fine.”

“Noooo!” Hinata begged, hanging from Kenma’s shoulder like a limp noodle. “I don’t want you to leave!”

“Shouyou…” Kenma tried to pull away, but Hinata’s grip was ironclad.

“I’ll introduce you to everybody!” Hinata whined. “They’re going to love you, I _promise!”_ His face pulled into a pout, even though Kenma had told him hundreds of times that guilt trips only made him more likely to disagree.

“Aww, who you trying to court tonight, Hinata?” a voice sounded from behind them.

They both turned around, facing two men who were holding hands.

“Suga! Daichi!” Hinata grinned, jerking hard on Kenma’s arm. “This is my best friend, Kenma! I told you about him, remember?”

“Oooh, so _this_ is the famous Kenma, hm?” The man with sandy blonde hair smiled. Kenma thought that he looked very kind, but there was some sort of glint in his eye…a mischievous one. He was wearing light denim jeans with a baggy sweatshirt, presumably belonging to someone else, given the fact that he was drowning in it. “Hinata has told us a lot about you. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” He held out his hand, and Kenma shook it lightly. “I’m Koushi Sugawara, and this cool drink of water is Sawamura Daichi.”

“Suga…” Daichi rolled his eyes and shook his head as he clasped Kenma’s hand tightly. Kenma could tell that Daichi was kind, like Suga, but _much_ less devious. He was a bit taller, wearing black jersey shorts with a white t-shirt. And…sandals. No, they were _flip flops._ He looked like a straight up fuckboy, minus the cocky personality.

Kenma blinked his eyes, dragging himself from his analytic zone. “Um…Kenma Kozume. As you already know,” he mumbled awkwardly. “I wasn’t planning on staying-“

“You’re more than welcome to!” Suga clapped his hands together. “Hinata has just gone _on_ and _on_ about you, so it would be great to have you stick around!”

Kenma’s palms grew sweaty, and his stomach tied itself together even more. “I’ve actually never been to a party like this before-“

“Perfect! Your first one will be great!” Suga grabbed Kenma by the arm and began to drag him into the house. “I can start to introduce you to some people, maybe we can get you something to drink?”

Hinata bounced up beside Kenma as they proceeded through the front door. Daichi trailed close behind, a worried look on his face. “Suga, aren’t you overstepping your boundaries a little?”

Suga’s face flushed and he looked at Kenma. “I’m not trying to! Kenma, we aren’t going to force you to stay, but we would really like it if you would! Though, I totally understand if this is out of your comfort zone.”

“It’s fine.” Kenma sighed, glancing around. There weren’t many people in this particular room, but loud voices could be heard from the basement. “I’ll stick around for a little while.”

“Yay!” Hinata jumped up. “Do you want something to drink, Kenma? I’ll go grab you something sweet!”

Kenma didn’t even get a chance to protest before Hinata had zoomed away. Kenma was left with Suga and Daichi, and his nerves began to fray.

“Don’t worry.” Suga squeezed his arm reassuringly. “We won’t bite, I promise!”

Kenma forced a small smile and allowed himself to be paraded around the house, meeting all kinds of new faces.

“Asahi!” Suga yelled at a huge man whose dark hair was tied back a small bun. He was dressed in a deep red knit sweater with dark denim jeans, and carrying a smaller man on his back. The smaller one, who had short hair with a tuft of blonde in his bangs, was wearing a bright yellow t-shirt with khaki shorts. “Asahi, do you remember the person Shouyou is always going on about?”

Asahi frowned, and the smaller man slid off of his back. “You mean Kenma?” he asked. His eyes flicked to Kenma, and then his face lit up in realization. “You’re Kenma!” he grinned, extending his hand. “I’m Azumane Asahi. It’s nice to finally meet you!”

Kenma shook Asahi’s hand, but was interrupted by the smaller one. “I’m Nishinoya Yuu!” he exclaimed, giving Kenma’s hand a vigorous shake. “You’re cuter than Shouyou made you out to be!”

Kenma’s cheeks burned, and Asahi’s face dropped. “Nishi, you can’t just go around saying stuff like that!” he looked to Kenma. “He’s a little drunk, don’t mind him!”

Kenma just shook his head. “It’s fine.”

“Whoa, wait, you have to meet Tanaka! He’s going to flirt with you, but just tell him to piss off. Better yet, ignore him! Well, actually…maybe not. He likes being ignored, too.” Nishinoya wrapped his arm around Asahi’s waist. “Let’s go find him!”

Kenma was shuffled to the kitchen, where two men were shot gunning beers at the sink.

“Ryu, Yamamoto, guess who’s here?!” Nishi clapped them both on the back.

They turned and looked over their shoulders, as they finished their beer. The one with a buzz cut dropped his can in the sink and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. After letting out a huge belch, he finally looked at Kenma. “Someone single, I hope?”

Nishi laughed. “It’s Kenma! Hinata’s friend!” He pointed to the one with a buzzcut. “That’s Tanaka. And that,” he aimed his finger at the one with a blonde mohawk, “is Yamamoto.”

“Kenma?!” Tanaka exclaimed, grabbing Kenma’s hand. “As in ‘my-best-friend-who’s-super-cute-and-plays-video-games-and-I-am-almost-as-much-in-love-with-him-as-I-am-with-volleyball Kenma?”

Kenma pulled away from Tanaka, leaving his hand with a sticky sheen of beer. He wiped it off on his jeans, but then was grabbed by Yamamoto. “You’re adorable!” he yelled, pulling Kenma into a hug. “Tanaka, we’ll be on guard for him tonight. Keep him away from everybody- especially Kuroo.”

Tanaka’s bloodshot eyes widened. “Why Kuroo?”

Kenma squirmed against Yamamoto, who seemed to forget that he was still crushing him. Suga stepped in and pried him off. “Kuroo’s gonna hit on him, you _know_ he is!”

“You make him seems like this giant pervert…” Daichi grumbled, pushing Kenma towards the sink so he could wash the beer from his hands. “He’s not that bad.”

Yamamoto rolled his eyes. “Every time we get a new recruit, he tries to get with them!”

“He’s just friendly!” Daichi defended. “He’s the president of the LGBT organization, of _course_ he’s going to be nice to all of the queers who come his way-“ his eyes dropped down to Kenma. “Ah, sorry, Hinata kind of already blabbed that you’re gay.”

Kenma slid his eyes to the side, though he wasn’t too embarrassed. He was more worried about people finding out he was trans than he was about finding out he was gay. It wasn’t that he didn’t think they would accept him, but it just seemed like a much more difficult thing to talk about.

Daichi folded his arms and leaned against the counter, looking back at Yamamoto. “I think you’re just worried that Kuroo will take all of Kenma’s attention away from _you.”_

Both Tanaka and Yamamoto gasped. “Kuroo is no competition for us!”

Out of nowhere, Hinata bounded up with a drink. “Kenma! Here, drink this! It’s apple pie cider!”

Kenma grabbed the glass quickly and downed its contents with three swigs. He didn’t even care _what_ was in the glass, but he knew that whatever it was would be better than dealing with these rambunctious guys. Not to mention, it would hopefully curb his anxiety for the evening.

When he was finished with that glass, Hinata snatched it from him and set it on the counter. “Come on, let’s go find Kageyama and bother him!”

“Hinata, don’t piss him off too much, alright?” Daichi scolded. “He’s been in a surprisingly good mood all day, and I’m pretty sure it has something to do with not seeing you.”

“Mean!” Hinata yelled. “I make _everybody’s_ day better!”

“If by ‘better’ you mean ‘worse,’” Tanaka chuckled, folding his arms.

“Tanaka senpai, I thought we were friends!” Hinata pouted.

Tanaka’s eyes widened, clearly excited about being referred to as ‘senpai.’ It made Kenma cringe, but nobody seemed to notice. Apparently this was a common occurance.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Tanaka patted Hinata’s head. “Call me that again and I’ll take back what I said!”

Hinata’s eyes lit up. “Tanaka senpai!”

Daichi gave Hinata a small shove. “Please don’t boost his ego.”

“Fiiiine. We’ll see you later!” Hinata grabbed Kenma by the arm and jerked him to a set of stairs leading to the basement.

He thanked God that the others didn’t follow them.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Kenma could feel his toes already start to tingle, so he grabbed onto Hinata’s arm to keep his balance in check.

Hinata introduced Kenma to the first person they bumped into. “Oikawa!” Hinata yelled. “You remember me talking about Kenma?”

Oikawa turned to face them, and Kenma’s heart stuttered. This was exactly the kind of person he feared most- the ‘super beautiful and extremely intimidating’ sort. His dark brown hair was perfectly feathered to the side, and he was wearing a thin black t-shirt with tiny denim booty shorts.

Oikawa raised his eyebrows. “Mm, I remember.” He looked Kenma up and down. “You’re coming home with me tonight then, yeah?”

“Idiot!” another man appeared and smacked Oikawa on the back. “Do you not have any manners?”

“Iwaaaaa!” Oikawa whined. “I was only kidding!”

“Well, _he_ doesn’t know that!” He looked to Kenma. “I’m sorry about this asshole. I wish I could say they’re usually less rude, but that would be a lie.”

 “Iwa!” Oikawa cried again, leaning into him.

Iwa only rolled his eyes, but his arm snaked around Oikawa’s waist.

“We’re looking for Kageyama!” Hinata chimed. “Have you seen him?”

Oikawa rolled his eyes and began to walk away. Iwa grabbed them by the back of their shirt and jerked them back. “He’s over by Tsukki and Yamaguchi,” he said with a nod towards the other side of the room.

“Be careful.” Oikawa warned, leaning towards Kenma. “He’s _infatuated_ with Hinata. You’ll have some competition, cutie pie.”

“Trashkawa, just because you’re drunk doesn’t mean you can just belt out stuff like that,” Iwa glared. “Besides, he _used_ to be obsessed with _you.”_

Kenma stood innocently as the three of them bantered back and forth about who Kageyama liked and who Hinata liked, and why Oikawa was so bitter.

“I am _not_ bitter.” Oikawa stuck up their nose. “He’s annoying and self-absorbed.”

“Mm.” Iwa tapped his chin. “Except lately, he’s very…considerate. I think it has something to do with _you.”_ Iwa pointed at Hinata.

“What’d I do?!” Hinata jumped back.

“No, idiot, he’s totally head over heels for you.” Oikawa leaned against Iwa. “That’s why…he might get upset when he’s sees you with your lover.” They wiggled their brows at Kenma.

Kenma frowned, but Hinata responded for him. “We’re not _lovers,_ we’re best friends! Right, Kenma?”

Kenma nodded, blinking quickly to clear his vision a little. He was starting to lose track of the situation. What kind of alcohol was in that glass anyways?

“Well _, that_ doesn’t matter.” Oikawa dragged their finger up Iwa’s chest. “We’ve been best friends since we were kids, and _now_ look at us. We’ve explored every parts of each other with our-”

“Let these kids enjoy themselves.” Iwa cut them off, his face darkening with embarrassment. He squeezed Oikawa against his side. “We’ll see you two later.”

Oikawa flashed them a peace sign before Iwa dragged them up the basement stairs.

“Okay, let’s go find Kageyama!” Hinata cheered, but Kenma stopped him.

“You’ll explain to him that we’re just friends, right?” he asked nervously. The last thing he wanted was someone getting upset and causing a scene over a stupid misunderstanding.

“He knows!” Hinata laughed. “Come on!”

Hinata dragged Kenma across the floor, only coming to a stop when they came face to face with a dark haired, angry looking man.

“Kageyama, you’re going to scare Kenma away with that look!” Hinata whined.

Kageyama furrowed his brows. “This is my face, dumbass!”

Hinata only smiled, ignoring the insult. “Well, you remember me talking about Kenma, right?”

Kageyama nodded. “How could I forget? You never shut up about him.”

Kenma’s face burned, and Kageyama’s words hung heavy in the air before he pushed past them.

“Wait- where are you going?” Hinata turned to follow Kageyama, shouting over his shoulder to Kenma, “I’ll be right back, just give me one minute!”

A surge of panic spiked through Kenma, and he felt like he might pass out. He didn’t know anybody else down here, and Hinata just _left him_ -

“They’re both idiots,” a blonde man drawled from one of the armchairs. “Kageyama was fuming because he thought that you and Hinata were a thing or something.”

Kenma nodded. “I guess it could be mistaken as that.”

The blonde sighed. “I’m Tsukishima, and this is Yamagucci.” He nodded at the shaggy headed boy in the chair next to him. “You’re Kenma, right?”

Kenma nodded. His heart rate was skyrocketing, and he could feel the effects of the alcohol really start to kick in. “It’s nice to meet you,” he nodded. “But I should probably get going-“

“Tsukki!” a voice roared above Kenma’s. “Are you harassing someone again?”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Kuroo. Hinata dragged him down here and then ditched.”

Kuroo- as in, the one Yamamoto had been warning him about? Kenma took a good look at him before returning his gaze to the floor. He was wearing a dark gray, loose fitting, v-neck and a pair of torn up skinny jeans. His Converse sneakers matched Kenma’s own, though they were clearly much, _much_ larger. His black hair was styled in an undercut, his bangs hanging over his face. And he had piercings- not a lot, but they were very visible. A black hoop stuck out of his bottom lip, and he had small purple gauges in his lobes. There was also another black hoop adorning his tragus.

He was unhealthily attractive, and it made Kenma sick.

“ _You’re_ the famous Kenma?” Kuroo raised his eyebrows. “We’ve heard so much about you!”

Kenma slid his eyes to the side. “Did Shouyou ever _not_ talk about me?” he asked, fists balling together at his sides.

Kuroo laughed. “Well, maybe to talk about volleyball once in a while. But you’ve been a hot topic for a while now.” Kuroo rested an arm on Kenma’s shoulder and whispered, “And I mean _hot.”_

“Kuroo, don’t be disgusting.” Tsukishima stood up. “He was just on his way out, let him leave.” He looked to Yamagucci. “We’re heading out too.”

“Come on, Tsukki, hang with us for a while!” Kuroo groaned, continuing to lean on Kenma, who did his best to maintain his balance. Kuroo’s weight and his intoxication made this task extremely difficult.

“Tch. As if I’d want to hang out with _you,”_ he shot, and then looked to Kenma. “Don’t let him sweet talk you. He’s garbage.”

The spite and hatred in Tsukki’s voice caused even Kenma to cringe. Kuroo said nothing as the two of them walked off.

Kuroo sighed and detached himself from Kenma, flopping onto one of the armchairs. “Ex’s, am I right?” he mumbled, rubbing his face.

Kenma shrugged, looking nervously around the room. “My ex is nothing like that.”

“Ha!” Kuroo smiled, leaning back. “You probably weren’t the one who fucked up the relationship then.”

Kenma sighed and perched on the edge of the other arm chair. “I did, in a way,” he admitted.

Kuroo looked at him in disbelief. “No. I refuse to believe that someone like _you_ could get dumped.”

Kenma raised his eyebrow. “Someone like me?”

“Yes.” Kuroo leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “Attractive people don’t get dumped.”

Kenma sat back, ignoring the compliment. “Well, _you_ got dumped, didn’t you?”

Kuroo nodded, but then grinned widely. “Did you just call me attractive?”

Kenma’s heart stuttered. Why did he say that? “I…no,” he looked away. “I was merely saying that anybody can get dumped. It doesn’t matter what they look like.”

“But you also think I’m attractive.” Kuroo rested his chin in his hand.

Kenma said nothing, but managed to somehow maintain eye contact with Kuroo. His heart was beating fast, but there was something…different. It wasn’t beating in the way it did when he was nervous. He couldn’t figure it out.

“I’m gonna go get a drink,” Kuroo said, standing up. “You want anything?”

Kenma shook his head, but Kuroo winked and said, “I’ll get you something real strong.”

While Kuroo was gone, Kenma shot Hinata a text.

 

**To: Shouyou**

Your friend Kuroo is telling me all about his ex and I don’t really know what’s going on but I’m a little drunk and maybe you should come back down here and we should go home

 

Kuroo returned quickly, handing Kenma an orange drink. “This will go down easy, I promise.”

Kenma took a sip, and to his surprise, Kuroo was right. He could taste the alcohol in it, but it was still sweet. “Is this orange juice?” Kenma asked, taking another drink.

“Yep. And vodka. Pretty good, right?” Kuroo grinned, flopping back into his chair. “I’m Tetsurou Kuroo, by the way.”

“Kozume Kenma,” Kenma replied, taking a large gulp of his drink.

Kuroo smiled and swirled his own drink around- it was dark brown with a few ice cubes. Kenma thought that it might be whiskey, but he couldn’t tell, nor did he really care.

 “Kenma,” Kuroo repeated. “It’s so funny to have a face to put with all of Hinata’s stories. Though, he had shown us some pictures, but they don’t really do you justice.”

Kenma’s heart shuddered. “What kind?”

“Nothing incriminating, sweetheart, just the occasional selfie. Or where you’re in the background playing video games and he’s too hyper to sit still.”

Kenma sighed in relief. Hinata was open about the fact that he was trans, which made Kenma extremely happy and proud for him. But Hinata was also very forgetful when it came to the fact that Kenma didn’t want anyone to know _he_ was trans. It was unnecessary attention that he didn’t want and stories he didn’t want to tell.

“So, Kenma,” Kuroo began, pulling him from his thoughts. “Tell me about your boyfriend. _Ex-_ boyfriend, I mean.”

Kenma shrugged. “There’s not much to talk about. We were friends for a little while before we started dating. I didn’t really even want to, but he was…persistent.” Kenma took another drink, feeling the alcohol spread through him, igniting his veins on the way down. “He was relentless. I finally said I would date him just to get him to shut up. But then…”

“Did you fall in love?” Kuroo asked.

Kenma shook his head. “No. No, I don’t think I did. I _thought_ I did, but I don’t think I truly did. He was just the first person to show interest in me, so I just kind of…fell into his trap, you know?”

Kuroo’s face went stone cold. “Was he abusive?”

Kenma nearly choked on his drink. “No! Definitely not. Not on purpose, at least. He was really tall, super uncoordinated. He usually whacked me on accident because he was such a klutz. We tried ice skating once- it didn’t go well,” Kenma said, smiling at the memory.

Kuroo’s face relaxed. “Here I thought some douche had been beating you up. I would have hunted him down and kicked his ass.” Kuroo took a swig of his drink. “So anyways, why did you stay with him? If you didn’t like him?”

“I…felt trapped.” Kenma drained the rest of his glass and set it on the coffee table. He gave his eyes a hard rub. “I felt like I would never find someone else and that I needed to stay with him.”

“And he found out and dumped you?”

Kenma nodded. “He was good about it. Said that he wanted the best for me and that he didn’t want to hold me down. He’s part of the reason I didn’t come here last year when Shouyou did.”

“Damn.” Kuroo rubbed his jaw. “At least he was cool about it though, you know?”

Kenma nodded. “What about you and… Tsukishima?” he asked, wanting to direct the conversation away from himself. “He’s clearly bitter at you for something.”

“Well…” Kuroo shook his head. “Tsukki broke up with me because I was ‘smothering’ him. Because _I_ was the one who was doing the loving, and he just didn’t care for me in that way. He thought I was obsessed and crazy.”

“But why does he hate you so much now, then?” Kenma asked, confused. “If he broke up with you, shouldn’t _you_ be the one upset?”

Kuroo nodded. “You would think that. But a month later, he wanted me back and…” he cut himself off, swirling his drink.

“You didn’t want to put yourself through that,” Kenma finished for him. “That still isn’t a valid reason for treating you like shit.”

Kuroo nodded. “It’s whatever, you know?

“So then…what about the other guy? Yama…guchi?”

“They’re good friends. Though…I’m pretty sure he has a thing for Tsukki.” Kuroo shook his head. “All the power to him. Maybe he’ll actually get through to that kid.”

There was a silence between them, and Kenma panicked, trying to figure out what to say. He hated this- the ‘we just met and we know nothing about each other so let’s try to figure out what we have in common’ shindig.

“You wanna go outside?” Kuroo asked, standing up. “I need some fresh air. And you look like you could use some as well.”

Kenma hesitated. He didn’t know how parties worked. Was this the part where Kuroo takes him outside, pins him against a tree and then mercilessly makes out with him? His heart hammered, trying to figure out how to say no without sounding like an ass.

“Relax,” Kuroo grabbed him by the hand, helping him up. “I’m not going to do anything. I may not seem like it, but I’m a pretty respectable guy. And-” he looked over his shoulder at Kenma, “I’m not really into one night stands, no matter _how_ adorable you are.”

Kenma looked embarrassedly at the floor the entire time Kuroo lead him out of the house.

The cool night air felt good on his hot skin, and once they were out in the open, Kuroo dropped Kenma’s hand so that he could pull a package of cigarettes out.

“I thought you said you wanted _fresh_ air?” Kenma accused as Kuroo lit one up, a small smile on his face.

“Ah,” Kuroo grinned. “Not a smoker, then?”

“I…” Kenma hesitated. “Not cigarettes.”

Kuroo choked on an inhale of smoke. “You smoke pot?” he coughed, waving the smoke away from his face. “I would never have guessed, to be honest.”

Kenma blushed. “It’s not like I do it every day. It hurts my lungs.”

Kuroo nodded. “I know what you mean. I actually only ever smoke when I drink. Or when I’m feeling exceptionally nervous. I chain smoke during finals week and before I go visit my parents.” Before Kenma could ask about his parents, Kuroo changed the subject. “So tell me about you and Shrimpy-ah, Hinata,” Kuroo grinned. “How’d you become friends?”

Kenma adjusted his gray beanie, wiping his sweaty forehead with his sleeve. “We went to high school together. He’s a year younger than I am, but we didn’t become friends till my second year. We met in our GSA, and…he never left me alone after that.”

Kuroo grinned, taking a drag off of his cigarette. “Sounds like Shrimpy!”

Kenma nodded, wrapping his arms around himself. “He’s kind of been by my side through everything.”

Kuroo nodded. “So like…I hate to ask…but…” he hesitated, trying to find the right words.

“Shouyou and I never dated,” he stated, reading Kuroo’s mind. “We sort of…fooled around? I don’t know. Just a friendly sort of intimacy.” Kenma mentally slapped himself for saying such an idiotic thing.

“I knew it!” Kuroo chimed. “I knew there was _something_ there.”

Kenma rolled his eyes. “There’s _nothing_ there. We’re just really good friends. Who happen to… make out sometimes?”

Kuroo chuckled. “I guess I’m gonna have to become really good friends with you too, then,” he winked, grinding his cigarette on the ground before returning the butt to his pocket.

Kenma frowned at him. “Why do you do that?” he asked, ignoring his statement.

“Keep my butts?”

Kenma nodded, and Kuroo smiled, resting his hands on his hips. “It’s an old habit of mine. When I was little, I learned that smaller animals eat them, and it ends up killing them. So I always picked up the random ones scatted around the road. And…it just stuck with me, even after I started to smoke. Old habits die hard, you know?”

Kenma’s heart fluttered. “I wouldn’t have expected something like that from you.” he said quietly.

“Why? Because I’m ‘macho’ or something?”

“No,” Kenma answered immediately. “Because you kind of come off as a cocky asshole.” Kenma smiled smally, and before Kuroo could defend himself, he added. “Which is fine. I’m a little bit of an asshole too.”

To this, Kuroo beamed and shook his head. “You know, they say opposites attract, but…” he flashed another sly grin.

“Ha,” Kenma scoffed. “I should probably go find Shouyou.” He rubbed his arms to warm them before taking his phone out. “He hasn’t messaged me back, I’m just getting a little worried.”

Kuroo nodded. “I’ll help you look for him?”

Kenma agreed, and they headed back into the house. When they couldn’t find him in the living room, they moved back down into the basement, where they bumped into Daichi and Suga.

“Yo, Daichi. You seen Shrimpy around?” Kuroo asked.

Daichi frowned. “He was with Kenma the last time I saw him.”

“Is something wrong?” Suga asked.

“No, we’re just calling it a night. I’m going to walk them home,” Kuroo clarified.

Kenma frowned up at Kuroo, who acted like they had already discussed this plan.

“Ah. Well, we’ll help you find him. Have you tried calling Kageyama?” Suga asked, setting his drink down on the nearest table. “I’m sure that’s who he’s with.”

“I don’t have Kag’s number. Can you give him a ring?”

Suga nodded. “Let’s go upstairs where is quieter.”

The four of them scuttled up the stairs and made their way into the living room while Suga held the phone to his ear.

“No answer.” Suga huffed. “You called Hinata, right?”

“I texted him, but he never replied,” Kenma said, his worry increasing. “You don’t think something happened to them, do you?”

Daichi shook his head. “Everybody is friends with everybody here. The worst that happened is that they went to go make out in the woods or something.”

Suga nudged Daichi, who folded his arms and grinned.

“We’ll find him, Kenma.” Kuroo said softly, his hand resting on Kenma’s lower back. “Maybe they’re just outside around the house or something.”

“Yeah, you two go check outside, Daichi and I will take one for the team and search the upstairs bedrooms.” Suga winked, grabbing Daichi by the hand. Daichi turned scarlet as Suga whisked him towards the stairs.

Kuroo scoffed and lead the way to the door, holding it open as Kenma passed through.

“Just around here.” Kuroo nodded at a small sidewalk as they padded down the stairs.

They went around the entire house, but still Hinata was nowhere to be seen.

Until something slammed into the back of Kenma and sent him flying to the ground.

“Kenmaaa!” Hinata yelled, squeezing him tightly. “I just _dominated_ Kageyama in a race!”

“Dumbass!” Kageyama trotted up next to them. “You can’t declare a race after you’ve already started running!

Shooting pain rain throughout Kenma’s knees and palms- the places where he caught himself on the sidewalk.

“Ouch,” Kuroo leaned over Kenma, helping him up by the crook of his arm. “You okay?”

“It’s nothing,” Kenma said, hiding his hands behind his back. “Shouyou, Kuro is walking us home now.”

“Whaaat?” Hinata slurred, leaning up against Kageyama. “I have to beat this kid in a race! Two out of three!”

“We have class in the morning.” Kenma reminded him. His patience was running thin, and the alcohol in his system was making it difficult to keep his emotions in check.

“Kenmaaaaaa.” Hinata whined, but was cut short when Kuroo interrupted.

“Hinata,” he said sternly. “It’s time to go home.”

Kenma’s heart fluttered at the dominance that was in Kuroo’s tone.

“Uuughhh,” Hinata groaned. “Fine.” He grabbed Kageyama’s collar and jerked him down into a kiss.

Kenma and Kuroo exchanged looks of surprise, but the kiss was over quick, and Hinata was bounding to them.

“Let’s go home and cuddle!” Hinata exclaimed, grabbing onto Kenma’s arm. Kenma avoided looking at Kageyama in fear that he might receive a look that would literally kill him.

“Where do you two live?” Kuroo asked, lighting another cigarette.

“Alexander Hall!” Hinata yelled.

“No way,” Kuroo took a drag. “I work security there a few times a week.”

“Whaaat? Do you get a gun?” Hinata was hanging onto Kuroo’s arm now, clearly unable to hold himself up on his own.

“Why- no?” Kuroo chuckled. “I just kind of sit there and let people though unless they aren’t allowed. It’s an easy gig.”

As they walked, Hinata’s steps became more jumbled and clumsy, and he kept falling into Kuroo.

“I can’t take it,” Kuroo sighed, grinding out his cigarette. “Get on my back, Hinata.”

“Whaaa? I’m walkin’ fine!” he stumbled, and Kuroo caught him.

“Um, no. You’re falling all over the place and it’s irritating. How am I supposed to flirt with Kenma if you’re constantly knocking into us?”

Kenma’s cheeks flushed, and Hinata graciously climbed onto Kuroo’s back.

“Whoaaa!” he exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Kuroo’s neck. “I can see forever!”

Kuroo chuckled and hooked his arms around the back of Hinata’s knees. “Don’t get too used to it, Shrimpy. I just need to look good for Kenma,” he winked at Kenma.

Again with the _fucking_ wink. Kenma’s face heated up and he pulled out his phone.

Hinata only laughed at them. “I _told_ you that he was cute, Kuroo!” he chimed, resting his head against his arm. “I knew you’d like him. He’s way better than Tsukki.”

Kuroo didn’t respond, and Kenma opened up a game on his phone.

“So, what didjoo two do while I was with Kageyama?” Hinata asked.

“Just chatted. Maybe made out a little.” Kuroo smirked down at Kenma, who just shook his head.

“Kenma!?” Hinata shot him a look of surprise! “I din’t think you were th’ type!”

“We didn’t make out, Shouyou,” Kenma sighed. “Kuro is just trying to stir up trouble.”

“Speaking of trouble.” Kuroo glanced back at Hinata. “You fucked up Kenma’s hands when you tackled him earlier.”

“WHAT?!” Hinata yelled. “Kenma, didjoo break y’r hands?!”

“No,” he frowned. Sometimes, Hinata could be so...dim? “I just have a few scrapes.”

“Your knees are scraped too, you ripped right through his jeans.” Kuroo added, cockiness in his tone.

“Kenma, m’ sorry!” Hinata cried. “I was just so ‘xcited to see ya!”

“I know, Shouyou. Like I said,” he glared up at Kuroo, “he’s just trying to stir up trouble.”

Kuroo revealed one of the most devious smiles Kenma had ever seen. “I’m not a trouble maker,” he stated.

“False,” Kenma sighed, returning his gaze to his phone. “You are most definitely a trouble maker.”

“Only for those who deserve it.” Kuroo bonked his head against Hinata’s. “And this one undeniably deserves it.”

“What’ve I done to you?” Hinata pouted. “M’ always on y’r side.”

“You sure that’s a good thing?” Kenma tested, glancing up at Kuroo.

Kuroo snorted. “My side _is_ the good side.”

“That’s what everybody thinks about themselves.”

“Well, not everybody is me.”

“You really are full of yourself,” Kenma mumbled, shaking his head.

“Ah!” Kuroo gasped. “You got me. A man as beautiful as myself can’t ignore their own magnificence.”

Kenma snorted and rolled his eyes, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. If anybody else were saying things like this, Kenma would think they were a complete tool. But when Kuroo said it…it was clear he was joking. It was clear that he _knew_ he was attractive, but he didn’t think that he was more attractive than everybody else. Kenma couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was just something adherently different about Kuroo.

“So, you and Shrimpy met in high school, and you moved here after one year at uni?” Kuroo asked, changing the topic.

Kenma nodded.

“So…if you don’t mind me asking…was the reason you came here because of your ex?” Kuroo asked. “Or were there other reasons?”

Normally, Kenma would have shrugged a question like this off. He would have made something up that would end the conversation. But he could see the pure look of interest and concern in Kuroo’s eyes. Kuroo wasn’t trying to fill the silence or find a reason to pick on him like everybody else tended to do.

Tetsurou Kuroo was an asshole. But he was a sincere one.

“Well, my old school…it wasn’t very…friendly.” Kenma began.

“How so?” Kuroo frowned, shrugging a now sleeping Hinata up.

Kenma searched for his words. “The LGBT community was small. And…I couldn’t express myself the way I wanted to. So it made my freshman year very difficult.”

“Yikes.” Kuroo grunted. “That’s rough. This campus is actually pretty chill, but there will always be your occasional asshole, you know? And if you ever run into one of them, you let me know ASAP, got it?” Kuroo looked down at Kenma, who frowned up at him. “I’ll kick their ass.”

Kenma’s heart jumped. In his entire life, he had never had someone offer that. And now, this guy he had only met less than a few hours ago, had.

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Kenma said quietly, looking down at his phone.

“No, I hope not,” Kuroo agreed. “But if someone tries to mess with you, I’ve got your back. And so do a lot of others. You’ll meet them soon, I’m sure, especially if you come to the meeting this Wednesday. We don’t stand for that stuff.”

“We, as in…?” Kenma prodded, curious.

Kuroo smiled brightly. “You’ll meet all of them! You know Daichi and Suga? They’re a couple, if you didn’t catch that. And there’s Oikawa and Iwa, who are also a couple. Oikawa is genderfluid, uses them/them/their pronouns. Ummm…Oh!!” his face lit up, and he began to speak faster. “There’s Bokuto. He’s my best friend. He’s dating Akaashi. They weren’t at the party tonight, something about their anniversary and needing ‘alone time.’ Aaaand…Nishi and Asahi. Who are also dating.”

“Is there anybody who _isn’t_ dating?” Kenma mumbled.

Kuroo grinned. “Tanaka, Tsukki, Yama, Hinata, Kageyama, Waka, Yaku-“

“Okay, I got it,” Kenma cut him off. “It just seemed like everybody we ran into tonight had a partner.”

Kuroo nodded. “Yeah, well, that’s what you get when your volleyball team is the only one in the state that is open and vocal about having a queer team.” Kuroo hiked Hinata up again. “Queer volleyball players literally only come here _because_ of the team, and the cis-hets choose just about anywhere else.”

“Really?” Kenma frowned. “That’s so…”

“Amazing?” Kuroo finished as he tried to catch his breath. “It’s _fucking_ amazing. Asahi and Nishi went to separate schools before they met here. Both loved volleyball, but hadn’t heard of how queer our team was. Nishi is pretty open with his sexuality, and Asahi coveted his because of how homophobic his team mates were. I had always known about our team- that’s one of the reasons I picked this college. Anyways, I met them at a practice match, and we _annihilated_ all of the teams. And I mean, like, _obliterated_ them. Those two approached me afterwards, and they told me all about their teams- Nishi’s accepted him, but they were garbage, and Asahi’s rejected him, despite his talent. I told them to come to our team, and, well…by the next semester, they had transferred over.”

A small warmth spread through Kenma’s chest. “What about everybody else on the team?” he asked. “Did you recruit them as well?”

“Nah, they made it here on their own,” he smiled down at the ground. “Hinata and Kageyama came here by mistake- well no, I take that back. Kageyama knew the team was good, but didn’t know we were all queer. So it was an added bonus when he got here. And Hinata happened upon us by mistake. Tanaka followed Nishi, since they’re best friends. And, um…at the time…” he chuckled at the ground, “I was in a polyamorous relationship with Iwa and Oikawa. So when I found the team, they decided to follow me here.”

Kenma raised his eyebrows in surprise. “A relationship with both Oikawa and Iwa? At the same time?”

Kuroo laughed. “Yeah. It sounds funny, I know, but it was more experimental than anything. They were already dating when I met them, and they were super cool about letting me into the relationship. When I wanted out, there weren’t really any hard feelings.”

“Why did you...not want to be with them?” Kenma asked, genuinely curious. “Was is like being the third wheel?”

“Nah, nothing like that,” Kuroo said with a shrug. “They were so in love when I met them, so I guess I was hoping that they could love me like they loved each other. And they did- they _do._ We’re still all really close. I just…I wanted someone of my own, you know? Having two partners was great, don’t get me wrong. There was always someone there for you, always someone to be with. But…”

“You fell for someone else.” Kenma nodded.

Kuroo sighed. “Am I that easy to read?”

Kenma shook his head. “It’s not that. I’m just over analytical.”

Kuroo grinned. “Ah. Well, yeah. I actually fell for Daichi, who was already on the team. I knew he was in love with Suga, but I couldn’t help it. So after over a year with Oikawa and Iwa, I tried to pursue Daichi. That didn’t work, obviously, and then…I fell for Tsukki.”

Kenma couldn’t help to giggle, and Kuroo dropped his jaw. “You’re terrible! I spilled my entire tragic past to you, and you _laugh_ at it?!”

“Sorry!” Kenma covered his mouth. “It’s just…you have awful luck with relationships.”

“That’s still not funny,” Kuroo grumbled, and Kenma couldn’t help but nudge him in the side.

“You just…need to stop falling for people who are already in love.”

“I can’t help it! It just so _happens_ that everybody I fall in love with ends up already being in love with someone else!”

Kenma shook his head. “No, that’s not it. You meet these people, and you fall in love with them shortly after. Because you unconsciously make note of how they treat who they already love, and you think that they can love you that way as well. Even with Tsukki, though I could be wrong about him and Yamaguchi. But I don’t think I am because I saw the way Yamaguchi looked at him. I don’t think that Tsukki even knows it yet, but I’m pretty sure he’s in love with him too.”

Kuroo was quiet, and Kenma’s heart was racing. Did he overstep a boundary? God, the alcohol must _really_ be inhibiting his common sense-

“You’re probably right,” Kuroo sighed as they walked up to the front door of the residence hall.

Kenma scanned his ID to get them into the building. Immediately after they entered, they were stopped by a woman sitting at the table. Kenma flashed her his ID, then had to dig in Hinata’s pocket to get his.

“Is he okay?” the security guard asked, straightening her glasses.

“He’s fine.” Kenma informed her, holding out Hinata’s ID.

As they proceeded to their hallway, she stopped them again. “Kuroo, I need to see your ID too.”

“What?!” he exclaimed. “Kiyoko, I work here! You know me!”

Her face turned pink and she replied, “Then you know the rules, Kuroo.”

“Fiiiiine.” He reached to grab his wallet from his pocket, but doing so caused Hinata to slip, and he had to catch him. “Kenma, do you mind grabbing that for me?” he asked, a pitiful look on his face.

Kenma almost declined, but he really just wanted to be back in his room, curled up under his blankets. He carefully dipped his hand into Kuroo’s back pocket until his fingers wrapped around the edge of the wallet. He pulled it out quickly and opened it, revealing it to the security worker.

“Alright, you’re good to go.”

Not wanting to reach back into Kuroo’s pocket, Kenma held onto his wallet as they walked through the door and down the hallway. Kenma quickly typed in the passcode for their room, and held the door open for Kuroo.

“He’s the bottom bunk.” Kenma instructed, pulling down Hinata’s bedsheets.

“Thank God. There’s no way I could have gotten him up top.” Kuroo grinned, plopping Hinata on the bed as Kenma guided him to lie down comfortably.

“Thanks for helping me out,” Kenma said, pulling Hinata’s shoes off.

Kuroo smiled. “No problem. Anything for Shrimpy and his cute friend.”

Kenma blushed as he covered Hinata with his blankets, making sure he was tucked in.

“Hey, I’m going to go grab a first aid kit, I’ll be right back!”

“First aid kit?” Kenma questioned, but Kuroo was already out the door. He kicked off his sneakers and noticed his blood crusted knees.

Ah. It made sense now.

Before Kuroo returned, Kenma quickly slipped his skinny jeans off. Just as he crawled into a pair of gym shorts, Kuroo appeared at the door again.

“I’ll clean you up really quick before I leave,” he said, setting the kit on the desk before digging through it.

“I can do it myself,” Kenma said quietly.

“Nonsense!” Kuroo laughed. “Sit down.”

Kenma reluctantly obeyed, and Kuroo knelt down in front of him. “It’s gonna sting a little bit, so just hang in there.” Kenma nodded, but still flinched when the cool cotton swab saturated with peroxide touched his knee.

Kuroo immediately withdrew and looked at Kenma. “Sorry!” he said with a grimace.

“It’s fine.” Kenma said. “I didn’t mean to take it like that.”

“Well, it’s a bad scrape.” He brought his free hand behind Kenma’s knee, holding it in place as he cleaned the wound.

Kenma’s skin felt like it was on fire, and it wasn’t totally the fault of the peroxide. A million thoughts rushed through his head- would Kuroo notice how thin his leg hair was? Would he wonder why there was clearly _not_ a visible bulge in his shorts like people with penises had? Kenma could feel himself start to sweat, but Kuroo didn’t seem to notice anything. His brow was pulled down in concentration as he cleaned Kenma’s other knee. For being such a large man, he was extremely…gentle.

“Alright, I have some bandages for you too.” As he reached up to grab the band aids, his eyes flicked to Kenma’s computer screen, which was still on pause from before he had walked to retrieve Hinata. Kuroo’s face lit up. “You play Minecraft?!” he exclaimed, looking back to Kenma.

“Uhhh…no. I just like to start the game and look at the title screen for fun,” Kenma said sarcastically.

Kuroo laughed and began to stick the bandages onto Kenma’s knees. “You know, Shrimpy said a lot, but he sure didn’t mention you being sassy.”

“What exactly did he say about me, then?” Kenma asked curiously.

Kuroo smirked and lightly took hold of Kenma’s hands to clean the scrapes on his palms “Well for one, he said you were smart. And quiet. Which I can tell right away from looking at you. You’ve got this…vibe. But he didn’t say you were hard to read, which is strange coming from me, because I can read _everybody._ ” Kuroo dried Kenma’s palms with a fresh piece of gauze.

Kenma’s gut sank. Was that a bad thing, being unreadable? “I’ve been told I’m difficult to understand.”

“No, nothing like that!” Kuroo waved his hands defensively, throwing the bandage wrappers and dirty cotton balls in the garbage. “I mean that you’re not an open book. You’re like…a really _big_ book with a lock on it. Something that takes work.” He huffed out a breath, shaking his head. “But I’m gonna tell you right now, I’m going to pick that lock.” He stared at Kenma, his eyes burning with sincerity.

Kenma broke eye contact, looking into his lap. “Be careful,” he warned. “I’m more like a boring dictionary than something Shakespearean.”

Kuroo scoffed. “Maybe I like to learn new words,” he said, eyes beading into Kenma’s. “And maybe I think that Shakespeare is overrated and outdated.”

Kenma’s heart fluttered and he clenched his fists in his lap. A small surge of pain from his scrapes caused him to wince.

Kuroo smacked his palm against his forehead, snapping out of whatever trance he was in. “Sorry, sorry, I’m making you uncomfortable. I have a habit of doing that.”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” Kenma assured him. “I’m just…not used to someone being open like this without ulterior motives.”

“How do you know I don’t have ulterior motives?” Kuroo asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I don’t.” Kenma began. “Maybe you want to sleep with me, maybe you don’t. But if you only came here tonight to try to have sex, you would have made a move already. You act like you have confidence, and I would have bought it too, but your hands were shaking the whole time you were touching me, and your face went dark red when I grabbed your wallet out of your pocket earlier. So no, you don’t have ulterior motives. You’re not a one night stand type of person, either. You’re just as nervous about being close to me as I am about being close to you. But even though I’m aware of this, there’s no guarantee that I will attempt to push forward with pursuing a romantic or sexual relationship with you. I had enough trouble in my last school trying to juggle classes and a boyfriend, so this ‘lock picking’ business you speak of may be completely ineffective.”

Kenma didn’t even realize all that he had said until he looked up to see Kuroo’s stunned expression. He immediately covered his mouth in shame. “I’m sorry,” he said through muffled fingers. “I didn’t-“

“Wow,” Kuroo stood up and grabbed his wallet from the desk, shoving it into his pocket. “I thought I had a pretty good impression of who you were, but I was totally wrong,” he chuckled. “How frustrating.” He ran his hand through his terribly messy hair and stretched his arms above his head. “Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t think you were going to be easy. But I also wasn’t expecting you to be this complex. But I’ll tell you one thing.” He leaned over Kenma, holding himself up at the arms of the chair, his breath hot in Kenma’s ear. “I’ve never been so excited to open a dictionary in my entire life.”

Kenma’s face burned. “We literally just met,” he mumbled, turning his head away from Kuroo. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those fools who believes in love at first sight.”

“I don’t.” Kuroo admitted, standing up again. “But I know that you’re hella cute. And that you’re honest and straightforward.” He paced to the other side of the room. “Who are you in love with, Kenma?”

Kenma frowned. “No one?” he said slowly, shaking his head.

“That can’t be,” Kuroo rubbed his chin. “Because, as you stated earlier, I only fall for people who are already in love.”

Kenma swore his heart stopped. He tried to say something, but no words came out.

“We’ll just have to see if your hypothesis is correct.” Kuroo opened the door and took a step out. “I’ll see you around, Kenma.”

With that, he gave a short wave and shut the door behind him.

Kenma felt like he was going to pass out. He buried his hands in his face and took a few deep breaths.

This wasn’t happening. This most definitely was _not_ happening. It was like something that was staged, something you would see in a play or read in a novel. Relationships took time. People didn’t just _meet_ and then fall for each other, right? They would hang out a few times, never talk about their feelings for one another, and eventually one of them would confess. That’s how real life worked.

So why…why was this feeling blooming in his gut? Why was he getting butterflies over this moron he had just met? Was he falling for Kuroo? More importantly, was Kuroo _truthfully_ falling for him?

He turned the lights off and crawled into his bed, trying to push the thoughts of Kuroo out of his head.

This was definitely going to be an interesting semester.

 


	2. New Friends and Old Flames

Kenma’s cell phone alarm pulled him from a light and restless sleep. His chest ached from having slept in his bindings for three nights in a row now. He internally scorned himself, but made a mental note to take them off later that night to let his lungs get the oxygen they deserve.

He slid from the top bunk, landing with a gentle _thud_ on the linoleum flooring. He then stretched his arms above his head, reveling in the small pops and cracks that let loose from his body.

Kenma turned to face Hinata, who was still sleeping soundly. One arm was over his face as he snored, drool crusting at the corner of his mouth.

Kenma scrunched his nose as he gently shook Hinata. “Shouyou, wake up.”

“Hm, what?” Hinata sat up immediately, rubbing his eyes.

“We need to get some breakfast before class.” Kenma yawned, crossing over to his closet to change out of his jersey shorts. “How are you feeling?” he asked over his shoulder.

“I feel great!” Hinata leaped out of his bed and made his way to his dresser. “I don’t really remember much from last night, though. How did we get home?”

Kenma’s ears burned as he changed into some baggy jeans and gray zip up hoodie. “Umm…what’s the last thing you remember?” he asked, tying his hair back in a bun.

Hinata stripped out of his shirt and threw on a plain white tee with a black hoodie. “I remember you showing up. And then I was with Kageyama…and then, well, it’s…” he ran his hand through his red-orange curls, “…it’s kind of hazy.”

Kenma nodded. “You ditched me, so I don’t know what happened with Kageyama, but Kuro walked us home. He had to give you a piggyback ride because you were passed out.”

The color drained from Hinata’s face as Kenma lead him out the room. “Kuroo? As in, Tetsurou Kuroo?”

“Mm.” Kenma grunted, grabbing his backpack as he crossed over to the door.

“Gah!” Hinata threw his head back. “How embarrassing. He’ll never let me live it down!” he grabbed his own backpack, and trudged behind Kenma.

Kenma shrugged as Hinata shut the door behind them, securing his backpack straps over his shoulders. “I was thankful he was there. I don’t know how else I would have gotten you home.”

Hinata sighed and they made their way out of the residence hall.

“What did you do?” Hinata asked when the cool morning air hit them.

“After you left me?” Kenma shot quietly, pulling out his phone.

“Don’t say it like that!” Hinata whined. “Kageyama was really mad, so I just needed to clear things up with him. Apparently I hadn’t made myself completely clear when I told him about you. Not to mention, he got super jealous when I told him we’ve made out a few times, and then _that_ took a lot of clearing up. I got through to him, though, so he shouldn’t be so snaky to you. I also told him if he’s mean to you, there’s no way I will ever date him.”

“So…are you two dating now or what?” Kenma asked.

“No, not yet. I told him he has to take me on an official date, and _then_ I’ll consider it.” Hinata opened the cafeteria door for Kenma, following behind him. “So, I’m sorry that I left you with people you didn’t know. Did anyone talk to you?”

Kenma hid his smile. “Um…well, I sat with Kuro for a while. We talked a little. Then we went looking for you.”

Hinata’s jaw dropped. “You were with Kuroo? _Alone_?”

“Well, I don’t think that it qualifies as being alone…there were plenty of people around us.”

They each grabbed a plate and began to load it up with different breakfast foods.

“What did you two talk about?” Hinata asked curiously.

Kenma shrugged. “This and that I suppose. I had a little to drink, so it calmed me down enough to converse with him.”

“Do you like him?”

Kenma nearly dropped his plate. “What? No.”

“Then why is your face turning red?” Hinata grinned.

“He’s kind of annoying, don’t you think?” Kenma asked, trying to shift the conversation.

“No way!” Hinata exclaimed. “He’s super cool!”

Kenma slid his eyes to the side. “Whatever you say, Shouyou.”

After they filled their plates, Kenma followed Hinata through the dining area as they tried to find two empty seats.

 “We can sit next to Bokuto and Akaashi!” Hinata exclaimed, pointing to two men in a booth on the other end of the cafeteria. “Do you see them? They’re sitting by the window! Bokuto has the wild white and black hair!”

Slight panic coursed through his veins as he followed Hinata to the booth.

“Hey guys!” Hinata grinned, sliding in next to Bokuto. Kenma was forced to sit next to Akaashi, who made Kenma’s pulse race. He was beautiful- no, he was more than that.

He was majestic.

“Hinata!” Bokuto yelled, wrapping his arm around Hinata’s shoulders. “What’s up little buddy?”

“Bokuto, this is Kenma!” Hinata laughed, nodding at Kenma.

“Ooohh, so _you’re_ Kenma, hm?” Bokuto fluttered his eyelashes and leaned forward on the table. “We’ve heard so much about you!”

“Bokuto,” Akaashi said quietly. “You’re making him uncomfortable, please stop.”

“What?! I haven’t done anything!” Bokuto pouted.

Akaashi sighed lightly and smiled at Kenma before glaring back at Bokuto. “You don’t have to say much in order to make people feel awkward.” He glanced back to Kenma. “I’m Akaashi Keiji. And this is Bokuto Koutarou.”

“Kenma Kozume.” Kenma pushed a small smile. “I think Kuro mentioned you two last night-“

“So _you_ were the one that Kuroo was talking about!?” Bokuto yelled.

“Bokuto,” Akaashi warned. “Don’t meddle.”

“Whaaa? I’m not _meddling,_ I’m just saying-” Akaashi raised an eyebrow, and Bokuto’s jaw clamped shut immediately.

“So, Kenma, what’s your major?” Akaashi asked after a while, taking a bite of his toast.

Kenma swirled his spoon through his bowl of cinnamon apple oatmeal. “Computer science.”

“Whaa?! Don’t you have to be, like, really smart for that?” Bokuto perked up.

“He _is_ super smart!” Hinata butted in. “He can draw, and write, and do math- he’s literally the perfect human being.”

Kenma’s face flushed. “I’m not that great. I just really enjoy it.” He decided to quickly change the subject. “What about you two?”

“I’m working on my generals!” Bokuto grinned, his mouth full of cereal. “I’m undeclared, as of right now.”

“I’m trying to get him to work towards veterinary school, but he won’t budge,” Akaashi sighed.

“If I go to vet school, then we would be separated,” Bokuto pouted.

“But you’d be able to do something that you loved.”

“But I _already_ do something that I love,” Bokuto winked, and Kenma saw Akaashi’s ears go red.

“I’m majoring in sports medicine,” Akaashi said hurriedly.

“Yeah! Akaashi is super smart too!” Bokuto grinned, staring at Akaashi like he was a proud father. “He’s always helping me with all of my homework, he would probably help you too if needed!”

Kenma nodded and smiled at Akaashi. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Bokuto drained the milk from his bowl into his mouth and set it down loudly. “We should probably get going to class!” he said, nudging into Hinata, who bounced out of the booth.

Bokuto leaned over and grabbed all of the dirty dishes from the table, much to Kenma’s protest.

“I can bring mine up-”

“Too late!” Bokuto rumbled, smiling widely before zooming away with their dishes.

“He’s excitable,” Akaashi said quietly behind Kenma. “He may come off rude at times, but he means well.”

Kenma huffed out a small laugh. “Kuro did mention that they were best friends. I can see why they get along so well, then.”

Akaashi smiled. “Just wait until you see them _actually_ together.”

Kenma scooted out of the booth to allow Akaashi out. “I think that might be a little terrifying.”

“Ask Hinata,” Akaashi replied, pulling his thin leather jacket on. “Nine times out of ten, he’s the victim of their outrageous antics.”

Hinata groaned. “They like to pick on me because I’m tiny in comparison to them.”

A small switch in Kenma clicked- did they actually pick on him? Were they mean to Hinata? How come Hinata had never mentioned their behavior-

“It’s all in good humor, Kenma, I promise.” Akaashi pulled him out of his thoughts, his hand resting gently on Kenma’s back.  “I would never let them do anything that actually hurt Hinata. Not that they would, anyways.”

“Kenma just worries because I was always picked on in high school,” Hinata shoved his hands into his pockets. “He’s always been the one to have my back when nobody else did.”

“Understandable,” Akaashi said as Bokuto strolled back over to them. “Just so you know, you’re not the only one who’s watching over Hinata now, Kenma.”

A warm feeling spread through Kenma’s gut. He really liked Akaashi.

Bokuto slinked his arm over Akaashi’s shoulders. “Ready, babe?”

Akaashi nodded, and the two lead Kenma and Hinata out of the building.

As they all went their separate ways, Hinata and Kenma were alone again.

“I’m glad you’ve made such good friends here, Shouyou.” Kenma said.

“I know!” Hinata exclaimed. “Ugh. Akaashi really has done a lot for me. I had a writing class with him last semester, and there were these bullies- well, not really bullies, but just these assholes who always made snide remarks to me. Like, whenever I answered a question out loud and got it wrong, they would say some rude stuff about me being stupid. The professor never said anything to them, and I didn’t have any friends in the class, so I didn’t defend myself either…but Akaashi. Oh man, you should have _seen_ the look he gave them one day! And he goes, he goes like this-” Hinata’s face dropped to all seriousness, “You children sure talk a lot of shit for guys who are too dumb to pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.” They were all speechless! Because Akaashi had been quiet this whole time, right? He caught them off guard, and then they never picked on me again!”

Kenma smiled. “He seems like a good friend, Shouyou.”

“The _greatest._ He and Bokuto are really good together, too. Like, they get into a lot more fights than Daichi and Suga, but it’s usually Bokuto’s fault. Akaashi just tries to keep the peace wherever he goes. Actually…he reminds me of you!” Hinata giggled. “Anyways, I gotta turn this way to get to my class. I’ll see you later!”

Kenma nodded and continued down the sidewalk to get to Lowelle Hall where his psychology class would be taking place.

He entered the room with five minutes to spare and took a seat in the back row. As he began to pull out a notebook and pencil from his bag, the professor approached him.

“Sorry to break it to you, but I’d like for the front row to fill up before the back row does,” he said, a small smile on his face.

Kenma thought he might throw up. He stuffed everything back into his backpack and moved to the front, the eyes of the quiet classroom on him.

As he got settled in his new seat, he became hyper aware of his surroundings.

He was currently the _only_ one in front.

The student directly behind him kept snapping their gum.

The person next to them was tapping their pencil loudly.

There was a person on the opposite side of the room clicking loudly on their laptop, smashing the space bar every so often.

He rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes, hoping that this seating arrangement wasn’t permanent.

A minute before class began, Kenma could hear the low voice of the professor speaking with a student. Just as he peeked his eyes open, the student made eye contact with him.

And they got a huge, shit eating grin on their face.

 _No fucking way._ Kenma sighed internally. Why was Kuroo in this class? How had the stars aligned in such a way?

“Hey!” Kuroo said, sitting down next to Kenma. “Anyone sitting here?”

Kenma only shook his head.

“Good. My spot now,” Kuroo winked, and the professor began to introduce himself.

“Good morning,” his voice boomed through the speakers as he readjusted the clip on microphone. “I’m professor Yujihara. This is Developmental Psychology. If you’re in the wrong room, please leave now or forever hold your peace.”

Kenma contemplated it. He could get up right now and switch classes so that he didn’t have to sit with Kuroo three days a week and embarrass himself.

But that would require him walking out of a room of at least fifty people. And making a total dumbass of himself. What was worse? Long term or short term humiliation? He breathed deeply.

Long term it was.

Yujihara continued. “You have a TA this year. His name is Tetsurou Kuroo. I suggest you go to him with any questions. If he cannot answer them for you, he will direct them to me.”

Kuroo stood up and turned towards the room, offering them a grin and a wave.

“Actually, Tetsurou, can you pass this syllabus out?” Yujihara asked, handing Kuroo a stack of blue papers. “I’ve had Kuroo in at least one class for every semester that he’s been here. While he’s a cocky guy, he knows his stuff. I advise you to use him as a reference whenever you can. He will also have his own office hours, which are stated within the syllabus.”

After Kuroo was finished passing out the syllabus, he sat back down next to Kenma while Yujihara went through the ‘exciting’ details of the syllabus.

When he was finished preaching through the rules and guidelines of the semester, the class was let out early.

“How are your hands?” Kuroo asked, resting his arm on the back of Kenma’s chair.

“They’re fine,” Kenma said, zipping up his backpack.

“Good to hear,” Kuroo smiled. “How was Hinata this morning? Pretty hungover?”

Kenma frowned. “Actually, no. He was surprisingly easy to get out of bed. And we were even able to make it to get breakfast.”

Both of them stood up and began to walk down the aisle towards the exit.

“I…met your friends this morning. Bokuto and Akaashi,” Kenma said quietly, trying to fill the silence.

“Really?” Kuroo asked, glancing down at Kenma.

“Mm. Shouyou and I had breakfast with them.”

“Damn! I almost tagged along with them, but I was running late so I told them to go ahead without me.”

Kenma just shrugged. “Hinata doesn’t remember how he got home last night, so I think he would have been embarrassed to see you. I told him you carried him.”

Kuroo snorted. “Did you tell him he kissed Kageyama?”

Kenma’s heart stopped as he dug his phone out of his pocket. “No, I completely forgot…do you think Kageyama is going to be mad at him? I should call him-“

“Hey, it’s fine,” Kuroo pushed Kenma’s phone down. “They both like each other anyways. It might be awkward for a minute, but Hinata won’t let it stay that way. He’s resilient in that sense.”

Kenma knew Kuroo was right, but it didn’t stop him from shooting Hinata a quick text “ _Btw you kissed Kageyama in front of everybody, you might want to talk to him about that_.” Was that insensitive? Nah, Hinata wouldn’t see it that way. Regardless of how he worded it, it would be awkward.

“So, how are you feeling?” Kuroo asked, his hands disappearing into his pockets. “Your hands and knees and everything?”

“Like I said,” Kenma shrugged him off. “They’re fine. They were well taken care of, I guess,” he added, his cheeks turning pink.

“Good,” Kuroo grinned down at him. “Hey, what’re you doing later today?”

Oh God. Was he was going to ask him to hang out? Kenma’s stomach flopped. “I have another class at two.”

“Nice. Does that get done at three, then?”

“Mm. Why?”

“Well, a few of us wanted to go out and get something to eat. Probably me, Kuto, Kaashi, Oikawa, Iwa, Kags, Hinata-“

“That’s more than a few …” Kenma grumbled.

“Come on! I’ll be there! It’ll be a blast, I promise.”

“I don’t know…”

“Okay, fine. How about this, you give me your number, and I’ll text you around five or so and I can come pick you up? That’ll give you some time to, like, mentally prepare, or whatever you need to do before going into large group settings.”

How did he know that Kenma needed to do that? Was he that intuitive, or was it just reeeeaaally obvious that Kenma had social anxiety? “I guess…” he finally said, listing off his phone number.

Kuroo entered it quickly into his contacts list. “Alright, sweet. I actually have a class on the opposite side of campus right now, so I should probably go. I’ll see you later!” With a light slap on Kenma’s back, he turned and began to run across campus.

 _What an idiot…_ Kenma said to himself.

When he got to his dorm, a message popped up on his screen.

From: Unknown

**_This better not have been a fake number_ **

Kenma rolled his eyes, scanning his ID to get into the building. He quickly typed a response.

_Yeah, you must have the wrong number. Sorry._

**_Kenma!_ **

_Why did you walk with me to my dorm if your class was on the other side of campus?_

**_Because I wanted to talk with you, duh_ **

_But now you’re late for class._

**_AND I got your number. Worth it, in my opinion ;)_ **

Gah. Kuroo _would_ be the type to use emoji’s. But at least he didn’t type in acronyms and shorthand. Lev had always done that.

Kenma shook his head. Why would he compare his ex-boyfriend to Kuroo? Kuroo was a friend. _Hardly_ a friend, to say the least.

He typed the four digit code into his door and entered, shutting it firmly behind him.

As if he heard his name run across Kenma’s thoughts, a text popped up from Lev.

_Hey! how school going? is hinata a good roomie? did u make friends yet? probs not, but u will in time im sure. U should call me 2nite. or we coud skype or sumthin. i kind of just miss hearing ur voice…_

Kenma’s fingers hovered over his keyboard as he thought of a response. Lev wasn’t intentionally an asshole. He just didn’t have a filter whatsoever. And even though Kenma knew that Lev didn’t mean what he said about the whole ‘you probably haven’t made friends yet’ thing, it still stung.

_I’ve got dinner plans with some people tonight, actually, so texting will have to suffice._

Kenma explained how his day had gone, and found a small pang of guilt cross through him. Lev was his ex. Was it right to continue talking to him, especially because Lev still had feelings for him? Was he supposed to break it off completely in order to help Lev heal?

He flopped onto the futon and rested his phone against his forehead, awaiting a response.

 

* * *

 

Kenma arrived extra early to his computer science class to avoid what had happened in psych, but was hit with an interesting surprise. Just as he was walking in through the doors, so were Oikawa and Iwa.

“Hey! You’re Kenma!” Oikawa grinned as they turned through the door. “How’s it going?”

“I’m fine,” Kenma replied, trying to hide his irritation. He was hoping he would be able to sit alone and avoid people. However, he would still rather sit next to these two rather than strangers. “How are you two?”

“Just peachy!” Oikawa smiled down at him, wrapping their arm around Kenma’s shoulders. “You wanna sit with Iwa and me?”

Kenma knew he couldn’t say no- he would look like a complete asshole. “Sure,” he shrugged, and Oikawa’s arm dropped from his shoulders.

They found three open seats next to each other on one of the side sections of the lecture hall and settled in. Iwa was against the wall, Oikawa in the middle, and Kenma by the aisle.

“So, how’s your first day of classes going?” Oikawa asked, their hand making its way into Iwa’s lap.

“Umm, not too bad I guess,” Kenma shrugged, pulling out a pencil. “This is my second class.”

“Ohh, okay, cool. What’s your major?”

“Computer science.”

“Ooohhh, so you’re pretty _and_ smart, huh?” Oikawa grinned sheepishly, turning their back more towards Iwa.

Kenma blushed as Iwa groaned. “You’re so stupid sometimes, Trashkawa. He’s obviously repulsed when you flirt with him, so please stop.”

“Whaa?” Oikawa whipped their head around, looking back and forth between Kenma and Iwa. “Are you repulsed by me?” they asked, holding Kenma’s gaze.

Before Kenma could muster any response, Iwa cut in. “Oikawa,” Iwa rested his hand on the back of Oikawa’s neck and gave it a small squeeze. Oikawa immediately turned back to Iwa, and the two immersed themselves in a conversation that excluded Kenma, which he was grateful for. In fact…Kenma was almost certain that Iwa did it on purpose to make Oikawa stop bothering him.

Kenma could still hear them, though he tried to tune them out as to not eavesdrop.

As he listened to them banter, he was able to pick apart their relationship quite well. Both of them saw each other as equals- Iwa listened to what Oikawa had to say, and Oikawa listened to what Iwa said. While they seemed to argue about everything, it wasn’t serious. Though….there was some kind of tension between them. Kenma couldn’t place it, but he had a feeling that while it _looked_ like their relationship was in good standing, there was something lurking in the dark that put stress on both of them.

Kenma also couldn’t help but think of how Kuroo fit into their relationship.

First off, there was Iwa. He seemed stern, strict, and hard, but very caring and worrisome. He was beefy and muscular, but pretty average looking.

Oikawa, on the other hand, was nearly the opposite. They were wearing a light amount of eyeliner and mascara, their hair feathered to the side much like it had been the night before. They were also wearing colorful printed leggings with black sequined UGGS, and a large sweatshirt that read “Iwazumi” on the back. Oikawa was peppy and loud, and seemed to have absolutely no filter.

So how did Kuroo fit in? He was loud like Oikawa, but caring like Iwa. His grungy style didn’t mesh in with other two’s. In fact, if the three were to be seen together, it would probably look almost outrageous.

But Kenma liked it, in a way. He liked how different these people were, and how even with just those three, it was a mesh of styles, personality, and characteristics.

“Kenma?” Oikawa whispered.

Kenma blinked his eyes fast to clear them, as he hadn’t even realized that class had started, and Oikawa was sliding him the attendance sheet.

“Sorry,” Kenma mumbled, reaching for the sheet.

Oikawa only grinned and shook his head. “So cute.”

Kenma signed his name quickly and passed the sheet across the aisle.

After another few minutes, the professor told them to chat for the rest of class to get to know the people around them, as they would probably need to ask for help from one another every once in a while.

“What are your majors?” Kenma asked curiously.

Oikawa’s eyes lit up. “Iwa, he wants to know about us!”

Iwa rolled his eyes. “I’m going in for elementary education.”

“And I’m prelaw!” Oikawa chirped.

“Why are you in a computer science class, then?” Kenma asked. His heart picked up pace. Was that a rude thing to ask? “I don’t mean it in a bad way, it’s just that it doesn’t apply to your major…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Iwa said with a light smile. “Oikawa thought it would be smart to know how computer coding worked, so he kind of dragged me here with him.”

“In case someone ever tries to hack into systems and screw with data!” Oikawa grinned. “I need to know these things in case I need to meddle around in the system, you know?”

Kenma smiled and gave him a small nod.

“Hey, do you play volleyball?” Oikawa asked, their eyebrows pulling together slightly.

“I, um…I used to. How did you…?” Kenma’s heart skipped as Oikawa took hold of one of his hands, turning it around in his own.

“I can spot a setters hands from a mile away,” they said, running their fingertip over the crease of Kenma’s palm. “I’m the official setter for the team on campus.”

“Oh,” Kenma breathed, his face flushing. He pulled his hand away from Oikawa, letting it rest back in his lap.

“Why’d you quit?” Oikawa asked, leaning back in their chair. “You haven’t gotten injured,” they added, scanning Kenma’s body.

 _Shit._ Kenma thought. _If he’s an official setter, that means he’s **good.** Which means he’s even better at analyzing than I am._

If anyone were to deduce Kenma’s secret, it would be Oikawa.

“I have respiratory problems,” Kenma lied, though it was partially true due to his bindings. “Any sort of physical activity takes a toll on my lungs and they kind of…don’t do what they should do.”

“Aww, that sucks!” Oikawa groaned, and his face displayed a look on genuine concern. “You know, Iwa and I have been playing together since we were like, five years old. He’s the spike to my set. He just follows me around wherever I go, it’s so cute!

Iwa face turned red. “I do not _follow_ you around, we mutually agreed-”

“Iwaaaa, don’t be embarrassed!” they grinned, squeezing his thigh. “Kenma, you should at least stop by our practice tonight and watch. Maybe we can try to work you in as a backup setter? You know, I hurt my ankle in high school, and it’s given me problems ever since. I haven’t been as good since then, but I couldn’t let it stop me from playing.”

“Psh,” Iwa snorted. “You’re an amazing player. If anything, you’ve gotten better since then.”

A small smile formed on Oikawa’s mouth and they just shook their head. “Not as good as Kage- _OW,_ Iwa!”

Iwa had thumped Oikawa in the back of the head. “You’re better than Kageyama,” he affirmed. “Don’t compare yourself to him.”

“I’m not better than him when he’s got that little _brat_ around,” Oikawa grumbled.

Kenma knew they were referring to Hinata. Hinata had gone on about how well he and Kageyama played together, and how he was one of the only players who could spike some of Kageyama’s quickest sets. But it was clear that Oikawa held some animosity towards Kageyama and Hinata.

The professor cleared her throat in front of the room. “Alright, you can all head out now. I’ll see you on Wednesday.”

Kenma shuffled out of the seat, and Oikawa barreled up next to him. “You should come tonight though! We’re all having dinner afterwards!”

“Kuroo already invited me, but I don’t think I’ll be going.” Kenma shrugged.

Oikawa’s face dropped. “You know Kuroo?”

“Uhh, barely,” Kenma stumbled over his words. “Shouyou was really drunk last night, so Kuroo offered-”

“Aww, Iwa, he likes Kuroo!” Oikawa chuckled, but Kenma could sense a bit of bitterness behind it. “So _you’re_ the one he ditched us for last night.”

“Time to go, Oikawa,” Iwa said, tugging Oikawa in the opposite direction. “We’ll see you around, Kenma.”

Kenma mentally slapped himself in the back of the head. Why did he have to bring up Kuroo around his ex-boyfriends? What kind of person did that? He wasn’t even close to Kuroo, and even though Kuroo had mentioned that the three were all still good friends, he never said anything about how _Oikawa_ and _Iwa_ felt about the breakup.

His gut churned. There was definitely no way he was going to go out to dinner with all of them now. He was just going to go back to the dorm, curl up in a ball, and immerse himself in one of his video games.

Well, that’s what he _thought_ he would do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, there was chapter two! Kind of a small cliffhanger I guess. How did you like it? Let me know in the comments! I love hearing from you all :)
> 
> As always, thanks to my wonderful beta, SippingTea, for fixing this up and keeping my pronouns in check. You're litterally a life saver!
> 
> Also, check me out on tumblr! I usually post some pretty rad stuff here and there. kuroken-for-the-win.tumblr.com


	3. In Due Time

“I’m not in the mood to be around a bunch of people,” Kenma grumbled, wrapping his blanket tighter around him. Hinata had been harassing him to go out for dinner with everybody since Kenma got back from his class with Oikawa and Iwa. But there was no way Kenma was going to go. “Maybe another time?” he suggested, offering his most sympathetic smile.

“Uuughhhh,” Hinata groaned, shoving his wallet into his pocket. “Fine. I’m only letting you off this time because you were honest with me about what an idiot I made of myself last night.”

Hinata had taken the news about his kiss with Kageyama surprisingly well. His text in response to Kenma’s was ‘go drunk me!’

“So,” Kenma began, burrowing deeper into his blanket nest on the futon, “are you two dating _now_?”

“I dunno!” Hinata exclaimed, brushing through his hair. “I messaged him and he just said we would talk about it after dinner tonight. But he didn’t seem mad or anything, so I’m thinking everything’s okay.”

“Do you _want_ to date him?” Kenma raised an eyebrow.

“Hmm…I don’t know,” Hinata sighed. “I really do like him. He’s kind of a jerkwad sometimes, but…”

“I understand,” Kenma nodded, then opted to change the subject. “Hey, who’s giving you a ride to the restaurant?” he questioned. If it was Kuroo, then there was a possibility that he would come up and try to physically drag Kenma away. If that were the case, he would need to barricade the door.

“Suga!” Hinata grinned, looking at his phone. “Ah, he’s here right now, actually. I’ll see you later, Kenma. Want me to bring you home anything for dinner?”

Kenma shook his head. “We’ve got ramen here, I’ll be alright.”

“Okay. Bye!” Hinata said, and whisked out the door.

The silence of the dorm was comforting. Kenma stood up and stretched, small pops coming from his spine. He stepped over to the door and locked it tightly, flipping the lights off. He then plugged in the Christmas lights that were spiraled around the bars of the bunk bed and climbed up to his bed on the top bunk, letting the soft lighting relax him.

He had started to play Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core, a game that Lev had bought him for his birthday last year. He had never gotten around to it before, and so far it wasn’t half bad.

He felt his phone vibrate once, but ignored it. It was probably some Facebook notification.

A few minutes later, it began to ring. He looked at it, irritated, but froze at the name that highlighted the screen.

_Tetsurou Kuroo_

He waited for it to stop ringing before looking at the text that Kuroo had previously sent.

From: Tetsurou Kuroo

**I am extremely displeased with you right now.**

Kenma felt his chest close up. Oikawa must have told Kuroo about their class earlier and how Kenma may or may not have a _tiny_ little crush on him. Was he mad that Kenma had told Oikawa about Kuroo walking him and Hinata home instead of with them? His stomach was starting to cramp with anxiety.

Before he could throw his phone across the room and scream into his pillow, another message flashed.

**You picked ramen noodles over dinner with ME?!**

Kenma relaxed. So he wasn’t _actually_ mad. Just…being a moron. His phone buzzed with another message.

**That’s it. I’m forced to bring you dinner on my own then. What do you want?**

Kenma bit his lip. He really didn’t want Kuroo to come over. He wanted to take his wrappings off and play his video games and eat junk food and be alone and _not_ cause any drama between Kuroo and Oikawa and Iwaizumi.

But…

**I know where you live, Kenma, don’t make me come blow down your door**

Kenma rolled his eyes, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. What an impatient man. However, he decided that Kuroo was probably 100% serious with his threat, so he shot him a reply.

_Pizza doesn’t sound that awful, I guess…_

He got an immediate response.

**Yaaas. I’ll be there in half an hour. What kind of toppings do you like?**

_Anything, really. Well, except mushrooms._

**What’s a pizza without mushrooms you fiend?!**

_Mushrooms should stay where they belong- in the dirt_

**KENMA! What about olives?**

_Those are fine **.**_

**Green or black?**

_Preferably green **.**_

**Kenma this would be easier if I just called you.**

_Yeah but I don’t want to listen to your naggy voice until I absolutely have to._

Kuroo’s next response took a little longer than the others, but when Kenma opened it, he realized why.

Kuroo had sent him an audio message. Kenma stared at it, contemplating whether or not he should listen to it.

_Don’t you dare just stare at it, Kenma, I KNOW that’s what you’re doing._ Kuroo texted.

Kenma snorted and hit play on the message, only to be bombarded by a loud “KeeennmmAAAAAAA.”

A laugh escaped Kenma’s throat and he replied with _I hope you weren’t in public when you recorded that._

**I was at the grocery store. A small child looked at me like I was a monster.**

_Well, you are._

**KENMA** _._

Kenma caught himself grinning like a fool, which is something that he _never_ does, and rarely ever has. He rubbed at his eyes and decided to quit screwing around. He was actually growing hungry now, and Kuroo had yet to place the order.

_Okay, okay. I’m hungry now. I like green olives, pepperoni, sausage, and extra cheese._

**FINALLY. God. Was that so hard?**

_Yes. It was extremely difficult._

**Lmao. Okay. I placed the order. What do you want to drink?**

_I have stuff here._

**Okay, but like, I’ll buy more. I’m a big man, I drink a lot.**

_Well then get stuff for yourself, I’ve got Mountain Dew here._

**Ah, a TRUE gamer. Is it just plain Mountain Dew?**

_Yes **.**_

**Then I’m getting Voltage.**

_Whatever you say, Princess._

**KENMA!**

Kenma finally put his phone down and decided to make himself at least partially presentable. He climbed down from his bed and combed through his hair with his fingers. After a moment of self-consciousness, he grabbed Hinata’s cologne and gave himself one tiny spray.

His phone buzzed again in his bed, but this time it was a picture message from Kuroo. It downloaded quickly, and the image made him roll his eyes.

It was of Kuroo. He was in the bottom corner, his mouth wide open and his back to the counter. The cashier stood in the background with a pizza box in one hand while the other rested on his hip, and his lips were puckered into a duck face. Kenma thought about it though, and figured that Kuroo _would_ be the type of person who gets random strangers to pose with him in stupid pictures.

The captain underneath the picture read “Princess Kuroo is on his way!”

Kenma just shook his head and turned on his television, scrolling to the YouTube app to put some Buzz Feed videos on autoplay.

“Knock knock!” a voice resonated from behind his door, in time with two firm raps.

Kenma set the remote down and went to the door.

“Hey!” Kuroo grinned, stepping into Kenma’s room. “Ohh, you’ve even got some mood lighting going on in here! You’re so _romantic,_ ” Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows, setting the pizza box on top of Kenma’s desk.

Kenma shut the door and flicked on the overhead lights, causing Kuroo to snort a small laugh.

“I hope you’re hungry. And thirsty.” He set down the twelve pack of soda and then began to dig through a plastic bag that hung around his wrist. “I brought some junk food over. You like chocolate, right?”

Kenma shrugged. “I don’t hate it.”

“Well, I didn’t like, go gourmet or anything. But I got a package of mixed chocolates. So there’s Reese’s and Twix and all that jazz,” Kuroo said, pulling out a large package.

“I don’t eat _that_ much,” Kenma mumbled.

“Ah, but consider this,” Kuroo opened the pizza box and grabbed a steaming slice, “I do.” He took a huge bite, and a piece of pepperoni slipped out and slapped him in the chin. “Shit!” he yelped, wiping it away quickly. “That’s hot.”

“Well, it _did_ just come out of the oven less than ten minutes ago…” Kenma chastised, grabbing two paper plates from a cabinet by his desk. He peeled them apart and gave one to Kuroo before putting two slices onto his own.

“You’re so right,” Kuroo sighed, tearing through the soda box to grab a can. “Maybe a kiss would make it feel better?”

“Or a punch to the face,” Kenma shot back quickly, settling onto the futon.

Kuroo only laughed. “You want a Dew?”

“A cold one from the fridge.” Kenma nodded. “You can have one too, you know. Instead of drinking a warm one.”

Kuroo grabbed a can from Kenma’s fridge and handed it off to him, then settled on the opposite side of the futon. “Nahh, this is fine. I like the Voltage.”

Kenma shrugged and cracked his can open before taking a swig as Kuroo sat down on the opposite side of the futon. He kicked his shoes off and crossed his legs underneath him, using his lap as a tray.

“So, how was class?” Kuroo asked through a mouthful of hot pizza.

“It was okay,” Kenma sighed.

“What class was it again?”

“Umm, computer science.”

“Right, right. Oikawa mentioned that you had that class together.”

Kenma nodded. “Mm. I sat with them.”

Kuroo opened his can. “How’d _that_ go?”

_I’m pretty sure Oikawa hates me,_ Kenma thought, biting his lip.

Kuroo chuckled. “I know, I know,” he replied, as if reading Kenma’s mind. “Oikawa’s a handful. Iwa usually keeps them in check pretty well, but he can’t completely keep Oikawa from speaking their mind, you know?”

“Yeah,” Kenma said shortly, taking another bite of pizza.

“What did they say?” Kuroo asked, his eyebrows pulling together.

“What? Nothing,” Kenma lied, but Kuroo saw through it easily.

“You got nervous when I brought them up. Did they say anything to offend you?”

Kenma sighed. “No. Not, um…not directly. They just got kind of…mad, or something. Because I mentioned that you had walked Shouyou and I home.”

“Oh,” Kuroo’s face dropped. “That’s my bad. Sorry. They shouldn’t get snippy with you, though, that’s rude and unfair. I was supposed to stay the night at their place that night, but…”

“Kuro, if a friendship with me is going to put strain on your other friendships-“

“No!” Kuroo shot loudly. “Sorry, no. Oikawa’s just a jealous person. They’ll get over it. They have Iwa, they don’t need to get angry because I found someone else.”

“You say that like we’re a thing,” Kenma accused.

“In due time, my dear.” Kuroo winked, shoveling more pizza into his mouth. “Anyways, Oikawa mentioned you played volleyball in high school? I was kind of stunned, you didn’t say anything when we were talking about it last night!”

“It was just sort of…not a big deal. I wasn’t really passionate about it.”

“So why’d ya play?”

“My mom made me.” Kenma cleared his throat. “She thought it would help me socialize and make friends,” Kenma huffed out a breath. “It didn’t.”

“I had a friend like that in high school.” Kuroo nodded. “He was in basketball, though. His dad was pushy about the sport, and my friend _hated_ it. But he played because ‘daddums’ wanted him to. I love sports, but I know they’re not for everyone, so it pisses me off when parents force their children into them. By the way,” he took a swig from his can, “Oikawa mentioned the team you played on, and I remember playing your team once in my senior year. But I don’t remember you.”

Kenma tried to act as naturally as possible. “Probably because I wasn’t a regular. They had a hard time with me because they didn’t trust me. I’m…I’m very difficult to play with.”

“I don’t believe that,” Kuroo accused.

“It’s true.” Kenma shrugged. “I read people and the situation. Then I come up with solutions. But my team never had faith in what I had to say. Especially the coach,” he cringed. “He hated me.”

“You gotta play with us once,” Kuroo began to beg. “We don’t always play competitively, so it wouldn’t be all that intense!”

“Probably not,” Kenma answered honestly.

“ _Plleeeaaaassseee,”_ Kuroo whined, setting his plate on the floor. He scooted closer to Kenma and clasped his hands together. “Please set for me someday, Kenma. Be the set to my spike.”

Kenma’s gut lurched- that was the exact line that Oikawa had used about Iwaizumi. “I have respiratory problems, I can’t-”

“I’m not Oikawa, you can’t lie to me,” Kuroo raised an eyebrow. “Setting a volleyball to me a few times won’t exert that much energy.”

He wasn’t wrong, and Kenma knew it. A couple sets would be fine, right? “Maybe I’ll watch you play once or twice,” he caved in. “To get a feel for how you spike.”

“Yes!” Kuroo fist pumped into the air. “That’s what I’m talking about. Want some chocolate?” he reached over and grabbed the bag, opened it, and offered some to Kenma, who took a small handful.

And just like that, they were off the volleyball topic.

“So, you’re into computer science?” Kuroo asked, filling his plate with more pizza.

“Mm.” Kenma set his plate on the floor and took a drink of his soda. “It’s my major.”

“Any specific reason?”

“I love technology,” Kenma reasoned. “Anything and everything to do with it. It’s been my saving grace for my whole life. Also, I’m really into video games. So I’m working on combining the two.”

“You want to design them too? Can you draw?”

Kenma nodded. “I want to do it all. The writing, the drawing, the coding, but especially the character design. Creating characters is…it’s so much more difficult than you would think. You have to establish their personality, then think about who they are when others aren’t looking. Oh, and then their background. If you want them to have an aggressive personality, you have to have a reason, right? So a lot of psychology goes into it as well.”

“Is that why you’re in developmental psych?” Kuroo asked curiously.

“Yeah!” Kenma caught himself before continuing. This kind of stuff was probably boring to other people, right? “Um, so yeah. I like character designs,” he cut himself short, not wanting to launch into a conversation that would be dull for Kuroo.

“That sounds so cool,” Kuroo praised. “I didn’t really think that character design would take that much effort- you know, slap on a personality. I never thought about _why_ a character would be the way that they are. But it makes sense. You treat your characters like real people. That’s…” he half smiled. “That’s called passion.”

Kenma’s heart fluttered. “I guess so.” He looked down at his hands. “It seems like a silly passion, though.”

“Nah, there’s no such thing!” Kuroo emptied his can and crushed it before tossing it into the small blue bin by Kenma’s door. “Do you know how hard it is to find a passion?”

Kenma shrugged. “Do you have one?”

“Well, volleyball,” he stated, a coy grin on his face. “I devote a lot of time to it. And I love playing it. So I’d say that’s my passion.”

“I thought that maybe piercings were your passion,” Kenma teased jokingly.

“What, you don’t like them?” Kuroo semi-pouted as he brought his fingers to the ring adorning lip.

“It’s not that,” Kenma defended. “I just think it’s funny. Piercings are associated with badasses, and you’re-“

“I am a badass!” Kuroo interjected.

Kenma stared at him blankly. “Badasses don’t call themselves badass, Kuro.”

Kuroo scoffed and ate another piece of chocolate. “Do you want to see my hidden piercing?”

Kenma chocked on his dew. “Your _what?_ ” he sputtered, wiping the dribble from his chin.

Kuroo nodded nervously. “It’s called a Jacob’s Ladder. It’s a piercing right underneath-“

“I _know_ what it is Kuro,” Kenma stated. “I just didn’t…I didn’t think that you’d have one.”

Kuroo’s mouth turned into a grin. “I don’t. I just wanted to see your reaction when we started talking about my dick.”

Kenma’s face burned as he glared at Kuroo. “You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, yeah, tell me something I don’t know,” Kuroo sighed, running his hand through his hair. Slowly, he inched closer to Kenma and then laid down. His head rested on Kenma’s lap, and he silently examined Kenma’s face for any protest. “Does this make you uncomfortable?” he asked.

“Honestly, a little bit,” Kenma admitted. Kuroo’s face dropped and he tried to sit up, but Kenma pressed him back down. “But I’ll live. I need the oxytocin.”

Kuroo smiled. “I can think of a few other ways to give you some oxytocin,” he winked. Kenma only rolled his eyes and shook his head.

 They quietly began to watch the Buzz Feed videos that were playing on the television.

“You know, you don’t _have_ to stay.” Kenma said after a while. “I’m not that outgoing or conversational, I don’t want you to be bored. Maybe you could catch everybody at the restaurant?”

“Are you kidding me?” Kuroo turned his head to look up at Kenma. “I’m not bored at all. I didn’t want to stay with everybody there anyways. Believe it or not, large groups aren’t my thing. I’m what you call an ‘outgoing introvert.’ Even parties kind of bother me. I prefer a small crowd of two to four,” he said, reaching up to tug on a loose strand of Kenma’s hair. “I think that’s what drew me to you. I could tell you wanted to bail that party last night just as badly as I did. Not to mention, living with Bokuto…it’s exhausting. So when I can be with someone who’s calm, it’s sort of…refreshing.” Kenma’s heart thrummed nervously, and Kuroo continued. “In all honesty, the only reason I wanted to go to dinner with them all tonight was because I thought you were going to be there.”

“I’m not one for crowds.” Kenma said, resting his hand lightly on Kuroo’s shoulder.

“I figured.” Kuroo chuckled. “You know, I also figured you were going to give me a solid ‘fuck off’ when I asked to come over,” he said, looking up sheepishly at Kenma.

Kenma rolled his eyes. “Well, I _tried_ , but you kept begging. I could only take so much.”

“Ha! If you think _that_ was me begging, then you are in for a reeeaaallly pleasant surprise when I actually am.” Kuroo grinned.

Kenma groaned. “Spare me.”

They sat through another video before Kuroo asked, “So, do you think Eugene is hot?”

“Eugene?” Kenma asked, confused.

“Yeah, from the Try Guys.” Kuroo nodded towards the television. “I swear I’ve watched the one where he dresses in drag at _least_ ten times.”

Kenma froze for a second. This would probably be an opportune moment to tell Kuroo that he was trans, right?

But this was different- a cisgendered man dressing like a woman didn’t make him any less manly. He still had all of the male parts. Was Kuroo 100% gay? Or was he bi? Or was he pan? Dear God, out of all of the things he knew how to read in people, _why_ did sexuality have to be _so_ hard?!

“Kenma?” Kuroo frowned up at him. “You alright?”

Kenma pulled himself from his thoughts and nodded. “Yeah, I was just thinking.”

“’Bout what?”

“Nothing in particular.”

“Mmhmm, sure.” Kuroo turned back to the television. “You had that look that says you’ve got something on your mind, so if you’ve got something to say, say it,” he said, shifting so that he was on his side. He brought his hand up and rested it gently on top of Kenma’s knee, his thumb drawing small circles on top of it.

Kenma hesitated, bringing his hand to Kuroo’s head to run his fingers through his course, black hair. He couldn’t reason why he did it, but he did. It was…natural? “Yeah, okay,” he said, rubbing at Kuroo’s scalp with his fingertips. “What I wanted to say was…how much hair gel do you have to use to tame this wild mane?”

Kuroo shot up and glared. “I thought you had something relevant to say!”

Kenma hid his smile behind his hand. “It’s extremely relevant.”

Kuroo pursed his lips. “I come from a family of unruly haired individuals!” he exclaimed, trying to lay it all flat. “It’s uncontrollable.”

Kenma nodded. “I can see that.”

Kuroo propped one arm against the back of the futon, resting his cheek against his fist. “What about you, huh?” he asked, tugging at the small strand of hair that had escaped Kenma’s bun. “You’ve got long hair, but you’ve been hiding it in a bun or under a hat since we met.”

_My mom won’t let me cut it._ Kenma wanted to say, but he held his tongue. “I like having long hair, but it’s annoying to manage. So I just throw it back.”

“Must be nice.” Kuroo grumbled. “You’ve got these beautiful golden locks, and I’ve got this insane and dull mop.”

Kuroo leaned a little closer, and Kenma was becoming painfully aware of how close he was at this point. The pit of his stomach grew hot, and he knew how badly he wanted to lean in and kiss Kuroo, but it wouldn’t be fair. He couldn’t kiss someone who believed him to be male when, genetically, he wasn’t.

“Kenma?”

“Hm?” he asked, folding his legs beneath him.

“Can I kiss you?”

Kenma’s heart stuttered. “Um…no,” he said, though it sounded a bit more harsh than he intended. “Ah, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Stop.” Kuroo held up his hand and backed away. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. It was kind of a spur of the moment thought. Though, I’ve been wanting to kiss you since last night.”

“I’m sorry,” Kenma apologized.

Kuroo groaned. “Stoooop. It was rude of me to be so straight forward. And without even taking you on a date!” he glanced back at the television, letting a few seconds pass. “So, will you?” he added. “Go on a date with me?”

Kenma shuddered internally. “Kuro…”

“One little date.” Kuroo cut him off. “You…you drive me crazy. I don’t know what it is.” He huffed out a small breath. “It’s frustrating. I’ve only known you less than twenty four hours, and yet I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want you.”

“You’re an idiot.” Kenma scolded. “Things like that don’t happen. What you’re feeling is a short term infatuation because of your relationship history. You met someone new who you became interested in, and, mixed with your natural habit of falling hard, developed a super-crush on me.”

Kenma believed his own words-when they were applied to Kuroo. However, he tried to apply them to himself as well, and then he saw fault in them. Why was _he_ falling for Kuroo? Was it because he was the first male to show an overt amount of interest in him while he expressed himself as male as well?

He wanted to tear his hair out and smack his head on the wall.

“I’m a psych major, Kenma, I know all about the psychology of relationships.” Kuroo sighed. “How am I supposed to know if this is a short term crush if you refuse to go on a date with me?”

Kenma hesitated. It was a valid point.

Kuroo continued. “See, I think the word ‘date’ scared you off and you put a wall up between us. And I think you’re just as afraid of getting hurt as you are of hurting me. You can’t deny that you’re interested in me. So how about we just ‘hang out?’ Me and you, just two lads being lads.”

Kenma couldn’t help but chuckle, and a sense of warmth spread through him. “What would we do, then?”

A sheepish grin spread over Kuroo’s face, and he reached for Kenma’s hand, holding it gently. “I’d probably, like, hold your hand. Bump into you while we walked. Oh, and buy you dinner. Definitely gotta do that. I’m classy,” he winked.

Kenma didn’t pull his hand away, but he smirked. “That sounds a lot like a date, Kuro.”

Kuroo threw his head back “Ugh! Fine! What do _straight_ boys do when they hang out?” he twined his fingers with Kenma’s. “I mean, we could go to a club and hit on all the ladies.”

Kenma scrunched his nose. “I’d rather stay home.”

Kuroo squeezed his hand and laughed. “We could go to a straight club and then be gay? Like, as soon as the women try grinding on us, we could grind on each other.”

Kenma narrowed his eyes. “I have a feeling you’ve done that a lot.”

“Well, I mean…you met Bokuto,” he smiled. “We used to break a lot of hearts when we were single at the same time.”

“Oh, I’m sure you did,” Kenma challenged with a small laugh.

There was a moment of silence between them as they held one another’s gaze. Kuroo’s thumb dragged across the back of Kenma’s hand, and the electricity between them was sending Kenma’s heart into overdrive.

“So…” Kuroo broke the silence. “Saturday night? I’ll take you to my favorite rinky dink restaurant. Nothing super fancy. Purely casual.”

Kenma bite his lip. “Kuro…”

“I’m trying to woo you, Kenma, give me a chance,” Kuroo said pitifully as he looked back at Kenma with his dark brown eyes.

Fuck. Why did he have to be so _damn_ attractive?!

“Fine,” he answered, and Kuroo’s eyes lit up with excitement.

“Perfect!” Kuroo grinned. “I can’t wait.” He pulled out his phone, checking the time. “Ah, I should probably get going now, though.” He stood up and slid his phone back into his pocket.  ”I’ll see you in class on Wednesday?”

Kenma nodded as he walked Kuroo to the door. “Don’t you want to take your soda and candy with you?” he asked as Kuroo passed by them.

“Nah, you can keep them. Lil’ something to remember Princess Kuroo by,” he said with a wink.

Kenma opened the door and rolled his eyes. “Please leave.”

Kuroo only grinned, but he stopped in front of Kenma, reaching down to hold his hand. “Know what would be cool?”

Kenma’s swallowed hard. “What?”

Kuroo squeezed his fingers. “If you drew me as one of your characters someday. Even if you make me the villain…” his voice trailed off. “It would be super cool.”

Kenma’s eyes slid to the side, his chest filling with pride. “I could do a sketch of you someday. It wouldn’t take long. Just enough to get your proportions and everything right.”

Kenma knew, in that moment, Kuroo would have some wise crack come back. He just didn’t know to which extent.

“Maybe I could be a naked villain?” Kuroo asked as Kenma shuffled him through the door.

“Bye, Kuro,” he muttered.

“We gotta make sure you don’t draw my dick bulge too small!”

Kenma shut the door and leaned back against it, releasing a deep breath.

_What a moron._

__Hinata returned home shortly after Kuroo had left, just as Kenma was unwrapping his bindings.

“Hey Kenm- _Jesus,”_ he gasped, quickly shutting the door behind him. “How long have you been wearing these?” His fingers traced across the deep lines that were carved into Kenma’s back. “Kenma, you slept with these on last night, didn’t you?”

“It’s fine.” Kenma said shortly, pulling on his oversized robe.

“It’s _not_ fine,” Hinata scolded. “That’s not safe, Kenma. I know you hate to be without them, but…maybe I can help you buy an _actual_ binder? I’ve always been really small so I flatten easily, but-”

“I don’t need one.” Kenma affirmed. “I’ll be fine. I won’t sleep in them anymore, I promise.”

Hinata sighed and wrapped his arms around Kenma’s waist, his face nuzzling into his neck. “Doesn’t it hurt?”

Kenma’s stomach flopped, and he became hyper aware of the strange aura that was emanating off of Hinata, so he avoided the question. “Did something happen tonight, Shouyou?”

Hinata sniffled. “No. Everything’s fine.”

Kenma rested his hands against Hinata’s back, holding him. “What happened with Kageyama?

Hinata was quiet for a moment before pulling away from Kenma. He sat on the futon, and Kenma followed him.

“Kageyama said that he doesn’t know how he feels right now,” Hinata sighed, his voice shaky. “I could have _sworn_ he was into me, but I guess I was wrong.”

“But he was so angry after seeing you and me together.”

“That’s what I said! But then he said that he just…doesn’t think it would work between us.” Hinata looked like he was about to cry, and Kenma panicked. The only thing that ever seemed to calm Hinata down when he got like this was physical contact.

Kenma wrapped his arm around Hinata’s shoulders. “It’ll be okay,” he affirmed. “Just give him some time-”

Hinata turned sharply and pressed his lips to Kenma’s. Kenma was taken aback and tried to pull away, but Hinata pushed him onto the futon.

“Shouyou,” he breathed, his head turned away as Hinata nipped at his neck. “We made a deal that we wouldn’t do this anymore.”

“Well we’re both single, so what does it even matter?” Hinata replied, bitterness in his voice. He untied the band that tied Kenma’s robe closed, but Kenma covered himself back up. “You don’t want to kiss me?” Hinata asked, swinging a leg over so that he was straddling Kenma’s hips. “I’ll forget about Kageyama. You can forget about Lev. Let’s just…we can be together, right?”

“You’re asking impulsively,” Kenma snapped, sitting up. Hinata fell backwards onto the futon. “You’re being selfish because a person you like is confused about how they feel for you. That doesn’t mean you should just give up and try to…to just _use_ me as a backup.”

“You’re not a backup!” Hinata defended, sitting back up. “I’ve always liked you!”

Kenma stood up and tied his robe closed. “I don’t want to play games, Shouyou,” he sighed. “Please forget this happened. You’re going to regret anything else you say or do. Kageyama probably just needs a little time to think, so give him that much, okay?”

Hinata frowned up at Kenma, who couldn’t look him in the eyes. “You like someone new, don’t you?”

Kenma froze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You used to let me kiss you all the time,” Hinata began, “after you and Lev broke up. But if you’re not kissing me now, then that means…”

Kenma could pinpoint the exact moment the small lightbulb flickered on in Hinata’s head. “You _do_ like Kuroo! He came here, didn’t he? Are you two dating? Did you make out?” The tension in the room dropped completely with Hinata’s mood, and he seemed to forget about the kiss and confession.

“Shouyou-” Kenma began, but Hinata cut him off.

“Kenma, that’s _so cool!_ Kuroo is so cool! He’s super good looking at tall and muscular and smart, _I_ would like him if he weren’t so mean, but Kenma that’s so great I’m so happy for you!” he stood up and pulled Kenma into a tight hug.

“Shouyou, Kuro and I are _not_ dating,” Kenma verified. “We didn’t make out. We didn’t…we didn’t _do_ anything.”

“But you wanted to, right?”

Kenma sighed. “Okay, listen. Kuroo…he’s gay.”

Hinata nodded. “That’s kind of obvious…”

“Which means he likes men.”

“I know what gay means!” Hinata groaned. “I don’t see your- _oh.”_ Hinata’s face dropped. “Kuroo turned you down because you don’t have a penis?!”

Kenma mentally punched himself in the face. “No, Kuro doesn’t _know_. I haven’t told him. I don’t know _how_ to tell him at this point. He’s made it clear that he likes me, but he thinks that I have all of the parts that he desires.”

“Hm.” Hinata brought his hand to his chin. “I think you should just tell him. I mean, he dated Oikawa, who’s genderfluid. So he’s gotta be open minded in that sense, right?”

“Sexuality is confusing, Shouyou.” Kenma rubbed his temples. “Not everybody is as open with their gender as you are. Not to mention, Oikawa still has a penis. They might present themselves as more feminine than masculine and take on gender neutral pronouns, but at the end of the day, they still have the part that Kuroo is interested in.”

“Kuroo won’t care,” Hinata said confidently.

“You don’t know that,” Kenma snipped, irritation growing in his voice.

“You’re scared, and I get that, but if you really like him-”

“I’m going to go shower, Shouyou,” Kenma cut him off. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Hinata kept speaking. “But he likes you.”

Kenma’s hand froze on the door knob. “Yeah. And?”

“So isn’t it kind of like betraying him if you don’t tell him?”

It felt like a cold ice pick drove straight through Kenma’s heart. “It’s not like…I’m not doing anything with him.”

“But you’re keeping a major part of your identity from him.”

Kenma wanted to scream. “You think I don’t know that?” he snapped, turning to face Hinata. “How do _you_ suppose I tell him?”

Hinata was taken aback by Kenma’s outburst. “I don’t know,” he replied meekly.

“Well,” Kenma sighed, grabbing his towel from the rack near the door, “please don’t try and tell me what you think is best. I already know what I need to do. I just don’t know how to do it.” Kenma reached for the door again, but Hinata scurried over to him.

“Kenma, don’t be mad at me, please,” Hinata said, wrapping his arms around Kenma’s middle. His cheek rested against the back of Kenma’s shoulder. “I know that it would be weird for _me_ to tell him, but why don’t you talk to Akaashi?”

Kenma frowned. “Why would I talk to him about this?”

“Well, he’s trans too.”

Another punch to the gut.

“I didn’t know that.”

Hinata nodded. “He didn’t make a bid deal about it. But he came out right away. So Bokuto knew he was trans before they started dating. I think you should talk to him, Kenma. Maybe he can be the one to tell Kuroo.”

“I won’t use Akaashi as a scapegoat,” Kenma grunted. “I’ll tell Kuro myself. Maybe this weekend will give me an ample opportunity.”

Hinata nodded. “Kuroo will understand. He’s not going to care, and it won’t bother him. He’s too open and accepting to not want to be with you for something as petty as that.”

“Let’s hope so.” Kenma sighed, and finally retreated into the hallway to take a long, hot, shower.

He would tell Kuroo, he knew he would. He _had_ to. Because a small part of him believed that Hinata was right- that Kuroo wouldn’t care, and he would be more than okay with the fact that Kenma was a man with a vagina.

But another side of his conscious weighed him down. He was terrified that Kuroo would be repulsed, and like Hinata said, betrayed. No, Kenma wasn’t close with the people had had met recently, but he wouldn’t mind eventually becoming friends with them. All of that would be ruined if things didn’t go well with Kuroo. His entire experience at this university would fall apart, and he would end up like he had at his previous school.

Alone.

So, _so,_ alone.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaay :) Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought in the comments?? Also, I know I screw up a lot when referring to Oikawa as 'they' so if you catch me using he/him/his pronouns tell meeeeee. 
> 
> As always, thank you to my lovely beta, Sipping Tea, for reading through this mess and smacking me upside the head when I need it :)
> 
> Give me a follow on tumblr! kuroken-for-the-win.tumblr.com ! I'm always looking for someone to chat with, and to even spitball ideas for collaborations!!!
> 
> Next weeks chapter is going to be a doozy. I hope you're ready :)


	4. Patience is a Virtue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. Hello friends, I am back. Thank you all for your support, it has really helped me a lot through this painful writer's block. 
> 
> Currently, I am doing some editing to previous chapters, so I'm sorry if some of the timeline stuff doesn't match up or something funny like that. This isn't professional work, it's just something that takes up my time and helps me grow as a writer. This chapter feels a little rough, but I'm still getting into my groove, so bear with me.
> 
> As a heads up, this chapter might be a little eeehhh for some of you. This is where that transphobic content tag comes into action, so tread carefully! If you want an edited version, let me know, and I would be happy to figure something out with you. Thank you, and enjoy this chapter <3

There were no recognizable faces in Kenma's writing class the following day, so he tucked himself away in a corner, tapping on his phone as the professor described enthymemes.

From: Tetsurou Kuroo

**Add me on snapchat. wildcat17**

Kenma almost couldn’t suppress a laugh.

How fitting. Is that Troy Bolten’s number?

He jotted down a few notes while he waited for a reply. Did Kuroo know who Troy Bolten was, or was Kenma just going to sound like a complete dumbass?

His phone vibrated and lit up dimly.

**I’ll have you know, my birthdate is the 17 th. Also, Troy’s number is 14. I had the biggest gay crush on him when I was in high school, so I am an expert.**

Kenma smirked at his phone, going into his Snapchat app to add Kuroo.

It was only seconds later that he received another text.

**goldeneyenumber5, huh? I get the golden eye part, since you have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen, but what’s the 5? Just cuz it rhymed?**

Kenma’s face flushed at the compliment.

_Shouyou made the name for me. My jersey number in high school was number 5, so he thought it would fit. It could have been worse. He wanted it to be ‘goldeneyesandapplepies’ because he thinks I’m completely infatuated with apple pie._

**Why would he think that?**

Kenma swallowed hard. It was kind of a personal reason, but he already started to talk about it so…

_After the first time we kissed, he told me I tasted like apple pie. And then, by sheer coincidence, I ate apple pie right before the second time we kissed. So he thinks I survive off of it or something._

**Hmm. Guess I’ll just HAVE to be the judge of that ;)**

Kenma blushed even harder as a Snapchat notification rolled across the top of his screen. He clicked it and tapped on Kuroo’s name.

A black and white picture of Kuroo giving the camera a smoldering smirk lit up, and Kenma’s heart caught in his chest. He slammed his phone face down on the table, earning an over the shoulder glance from the student two rows ahead of him.

Kenma tried to focus on the rest of his lecture while his phone continued to vibrate every couple of minutes, but he refused to look at it to save himself from going into cardiac arrest.

When his class had been dismissed, he picked his phone back up and scrolled through the many Snaps from Kuroo.

The first was of Kuroo with a frown, the text reading “OPENED AND DIDNT RESPOND?!”

The second was of Kuroo looking away from the camera, his elbow on a table with his chin propped on a fist. The bottom text read “its cuz im ugly isn’t it”

The others were random selfies of him moping, or unfocused shots of his apartment that made absolutely no sense.

Kenma quickly took a picture of his feet as he walked down the sidewalk, typing on the bottom “I was in class. Patience.”

A close up of Kuroo’s face took up Kenma’s screen reading “I demand immediate satisfaction”

A second later a blurry picture popped up “not sexually”

And then another “unless youre down rn ;)”

Kenma snorted and pocketed his phone as he entered his dorm room. The panicked Snaps from Kuroo due to Kenma’s lack of response would be entertaining to read through later.

After slipping off his shoes, he crawled up in his bed and curled himself under his blanket. It would be fun if they could continue this forever, and if he never had to go through the awkwardness of telling Kuroo about his gender identity. If they could just be friends and harmlessly flirt and never worry about Kuroo’s sexuality or preferences.

Kenma sighed and pulled his PSP out from underneath his pillow, letting his mind become enveloped in a fictional paradise.

“You’re coming to our volleyball practice tonight, right?” Kuroo asked him the next morning in their psychology class.

Kenma shrugged, pulling out his binder and a red pen. “Maybe.”

“Kenmaaa,” Kuroo groaned. “You’ll never be able to toss to me if you don’t watch and learn!”

“I said maybe, didn’t I?” Kenma asked. “I’m just not sure yet.”

“You already know the whole team, sort of,” Kuroo grumbled. “I mean, you’ve at least  _met_ them. Other than Waka, I think. He’s kind of a stiff, but he’s alright. You’ll see him at the queer alliance meeting tonight.”

Kenma crossed his arms over his chest and looked the opposite direction, avoiding Kuroo’s gaze.

“You’re coming to  _that_ , right?” Kuroo leaned forward over the table, trying to enter Kenma’s line of sight. “Come on! You  _have_ to come to that at least.”

Kenma looked back at him. “There’s going to be a lot of people there.”

“Yes.  _Queer_ people, though. As I’ve said, you already met a few of them.”

“I don’t know…”

Kuroo wrapped his arm around Kenma’s shoulders, pulling him so close that he could smell the piney scent of Kuroo’s cologne, and the mintiness of his gum. “It’s going to be a lot of fun!”

Kenma tried to shrug him off, but he held tight. “If I agree to go, will you let go of me?”

Kuroo grip loosened, but his arm remained. “Probably not,” he smirked, his thumb rubbing down Kenma’s bicep.

Kenma tried to act like he didn’t like Kuroo this near to him, but in reality, he loved it.

It was strange. He usually  _hated_ the closeness of others. But, with Kuroo, it was calming. While he didn’t feel like he needed protection or anything like that, Kuroo just made him feel safer.

As the professor began to speak, Kenma diligently took notes, and Kuroo’s arm stayed where it was. Though it was distracting at times, Kenma felt like he retained the lecture much better because he was forcing himself to focus ten times harder than he normally would have.

When class was let out, both of them packed up, and Kuroo’s hand found its way into Kenma’s as they made their way out the door. He looked down for approval, and Kenma didn’t object.

“So,” Kuroo began, a small blush crawling over his cheeks, “You excited for your programming class?”

Kenma shrugged. “I guess so.”

“You don’t sound too enthusiastic about that,” Kuroo jokingly accused, but then turned serious. “Does it have something to do with Oikawa?”

“They just make me nervous,” Kenma replied quietly. “It’s fine. I’m sure everything will be fine.”

“Well, if they give you any trouble, let me know. I don’t like that they’re tossing you into drama that you have no reason to be involved with.”

Kenma bit his lip. “Theoretically speaking,” he asked, “if we  _do_ date…will Oikawa hate me?”

Kuroo didn’t answer at first. “I’d like to spend a little more time on this conversation, but I’ll be as brief as possible for now.” He stopped them at the sidewalk where they were to part their own ways. “Oikawa loves Iwa, but they also love me. They are also very spiteful, and can be sort of an asshole 87% of the time. So yes, if you and I were to date, then there might be a little bad blood in there. I don’t want that to hinder your decision in pursuing a relationship with me, but I’m being honest. And I need you to know that I will do everything in my power to assure that Oikawa doesn’t have the chance to make you uncomfortable or anything of the sort.”

Kenma couldn’t hold back the small smile that was pulling at the corners of his mouth. “You’re talking so professionally,” he said.

“Well, it’s a serious topic,” Kuroo stated, his eyebrows raised. “You might not think it, but I’m a committed man. And I don’t take relationships for granted. I might have  _been around_ , so to say, but you could ask anyone that I’ve ever dated or slept with, and they’ll all tell you the same thing. I’m dedicated and respectful.”

Kenma’s throat tightened as he tried to swallow. “I believe you,” he nodded. “All the same, I don’t want any drama. I’m in a new school, meeting new people...and...I just...there's a lot going on in my personal life…” he began to stumble over his words as he tried to figure out what to say, but Kuroo stopped him.

“Kenma, it's fine. I understand. I mean yeah, I’m crazy for you, but I’m a friend before anything else. So when you're ready to get something off of your chest…” he brought his hand up to the side of Kenma’s face, running his thumb gently across his cheek, “Please come talk to me.”

Kenma leaned into the touch. “Trust me, there’s a lot I need to get off my chest,” he mumbled.

Kuroo smiled weakly down at him. “We can meet up later. After the QA meeting, alright?”

“I don’t think I’ll be ready to talk about it,” Kenma answered honestly.

“Well, we can still hang out, right?” Kuroo asked earnestly, his hand falling down to rest on Kenma’s shoulder as he pulled him closer for a hug.

“I  _guess,_ ” Kenma joked, hesitating as he brought his arms around Kuroo’s waist. He could feel Kuroo shake with a small chortle, and Kuroo rested his chin on top of Kenma’s head.

“I look forward to it,” he breathed, and then kissed the top of Kenma’s head.

Kenma’s cheeks burned with embarrassment, but Kuroo pulled away and waved. “I’ll see you later then,” he grinned, and began to trot off to class.

Kenma made his way back to his dorm, ready to mentally prepare himself with facing Oikawa again.

When Kenma got to class, Iwaizumi and Oikawa were already seated, but they had exchanged seats.

Kenma settled in next to Iwaizumi, who greeted him warmly. “How’re you?” 

“I’m doing fine. How are you?” Kenma responded, his heart beating anxiously.

“Fine, fine,” Iwaizumi nodded.

And that was it. Through the rest of the lecture, none of them said another word to each other. Kenma wondered what would be more awkward- sitting with them like this every day or migrating to the opposite side of the lecture hall.

When class ended, Kenma said his goodbyes, but was stopped by Oikawa’s icy glare.

“Are you going to the QA meeting tonight?” he asked.

“I…I was planning on it.” Kenma slid his eyes to the side. “Is there a reason I shouldn’t?”

Oikawa laughed, a fake, cold, laugh. “No, of  _course_ we want you there,” they smiled bitterly. “We don’t have many trans people, so we’re  _always_ welcoming to them.”

Kenma felt his stomach lurch into his throat, and Iwaizumi punched Oikawa in the arm.

“I told you to mind your own business,” Iwaizumi hissed, but Oikawa brushed him off.

“I’m surprised Kuroo’s still into you, after you told him,” Oikawa continued. But Kenma’s lack of response only made him sneer in mock concern. “Oh, so he  _doesn’t know?_  Yikes. Awkwaaaard.”

Kenma could feel hot tears begin to prick at his eyes, but Iwaizumi cut Oikawa off.

“That’s enough.” He grabbed Kenma by the wrist and began to drag him towards the exit.

“So are you going to leave me for a girl too, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa half-yelled as he followed them out the door.

“Just ignore them,” Iwa said to Kenma, who was struggling to keep up with his long strides.

“Iwa, if you keep walking, then you might as well just kiss our relationship goodbye!” Oikawa yelled down the hall.

“Fine,” Iwaizumi snapped. “Go cool the fuck off, Oikawa.”

As they left Oikawa behind, Iwaizumi quietly asked Kenma, “Do you have anywhere to be or can we talk for a minute?”

Kenma hadn’t realized that a few tears had started to fall from his eyes and he quickly brushed them away. “I can talk,” he choked out.

Iwaizumi finally let go of Kenma’s wrist as he brought him to a gray sedan in the student parking lot. He opened the door, and Kenma slid in nervously, his mind racing with all of the things that Iwaizumi might say.

Iwaizumi rounded the front of the car and opened the driver’s side door, settling in. After he shut the door hard and started the engine, he gripped the steering wheel and rested his forehead on it.

After what seemed like an eternity to Kenma, Iwaizumi finally spoke softly. “I’m so,  _so,_ sorry.”

Kenma cleared his throat. “It’s…it’s fine.”

“No, it’s  _not_ , Kenma. I should have tried harder to keep Oikawa from going to class, or to just keep their mouth shut. They’re just so damn uncontrollable and headstrong…I don’t know what to do.”

Kenma wanted to take out his phone so badly, like he always did in awkward situations, but he knew it would be an extremely inappropriate thing to do. “I don’t know what you want me to say,” he admitted. “Kuroo and I aren’t even dating. He said he likes me a lot, but he doesn’t…well, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know I’m trans. Shouyou is the only one who does, so I don’t know how Oikawa found out.”

“They’re perceptive as hell.” Iwaizumi sat up, resting back against the headrest. “Even I can’t get away with anything without Oikawa knowing. They knew it from the moment they met you, but didn’t really acknowledge it. They’re an asshole, but they also respect people’s boundaries.”

“Could have fooled me.” Kenma muttered.

“I know.  _God,_ I know.”

They sat in silence for a few moments before Kenma asked, “Do you think Oikawa will tell Kuroo before I get a chance?”

“I don’t think so. That would jeopardize mine and their relationship even more than it already is, and I don’t think they’ll risk that.”

“Why do they hate me so much? I mean, I understand that you three were all together and that Oikawa really cares about Kuroo, but…”

“It’s a little more complicating than you think,” Iwaizumi sighed. “People assume that polyamory means always having someone to fall back on. That’s not the case, though. When Kuroo broke up with us,  _both_  Oikawa and I took it the same way a monogamous couple would have. We were  _both_  heartbroken. We  _both_  lost a boyfriend. It just affected Oikawa much more than it did me. But the thing is, even though he was broken up with us, we still maintained a relationship. He still talked to us, still went out with us, still…uh, stayed the night. You know.” His ears turned red. “Anyways, then he started to mess around with Tsukishima. But Oikawa knew it wouldn’t last. So they never worried about it. But you…Oikawa is so worried that if you date Kuroo, Kuroo will finally detach from us. And he’ll never want anything to do with us. And that  _scares_  them. Yes,  _I’m_  here for them, but Kuroo was always able to provide things for Oikawa that I couldn’t, and still can’t. I don’t know if you’ve really been around him when he’s around others, but Kuroo is one of the easiest guys to get along with. Yes, he’s a moron, and yes, he’s conniving, but he’s able to help Oikawa see things in themself that I can’t.” He started to bite his lip and fiddle with a keychain that dangled from the ignition. “When I started to date Oikawa, they identified as male and dressed in masculine clothing. They didn’t dress feminine  _ever_. We were just your typical…um…homosexual couple. But after Kuroo popped in, he helped Oikawa with their identity. I never even noticed that Oikawa was having any type of gender identity crisis cuz they always keep shit like that from me. But I love Oikawa. And they were so  _happy_ when Kuroo took them shopping for feminine clothes, and when Kuroo so easily slipped into using gender neutral pronouns. So I was happy too.”

Kenma began to feel a pang of sympathy for Oikawa now. “So…it must have been exceptionally hard on them when Kuroo no longer wanted to be in a relationship.”

“Exactly. They had an absolute  _meltdown_. They didn’t know how to deal without Kuroo, even though they still had me. That on its own put a lot of strain on the relationship between me and Oikawa. But I think Kuroo caught on, and he made sure that he was still available to Oikawa whenever they needed reassurance or guidance. But now…”

“Oikawa’s starting to panic.”

Iwaizumi sighed. “Yeah. I mean, I’m not going to give you the details of mine and Oikawa’s relationship, but it’s…rough. Not even just because we aren’t dating Kuroo. We have our own issues. But no matter what, no matter what Oikawa’s past with Kuroo is like, they had  _no_ right to take it out on you. And I’m sorry they called you a girl.”

Kenma released a small smile. “It’s fine. I understand now.”

Iwaizumi looked at Kenma after a few seconds of silence. “I am kind of curious, though…why haven’t you told Kuroo?”

Kenma hesitated, picking at a flake of skin on his cuticle. “I don’t know how.”

“Do you like him?”

“I…I think so. Yeah, no. I like him a lot.” Kenma’s face reddened.

“Are you afraid he’ll reject you, then?”

“Sort of. Shouyou said he wouldn’t care, but…I just don’t know how to…and I don’t…”

“You don’t want to disappoint him,” Iwaizumi finished for him. “If it means anything, Hinata is right. Kuroo isn’t going to care. But…it’s definitely something that you need to tell him.”

“I know,” Kenma nodded. “But like I said, how am I supposed to do it? It’s not something that I can just bring up in casual conversation.”

“I guess it’s easier for me to preach than for you to practice.” Iwaizumi agreed. “I don’t know, man. All I know is that he’s interested in  _you_. He’s not interested in your gender. So…it’s going to end fine. The beginning is the only things that might be tough.”

Kenma nodded. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Iwaizumi smiled, and his pocket began to buzz. He quickly pulled out his phone. Kenma could hear a deep voice on the other end, but couldn’t make out the words.

“I’ll be there soon, Waka,” Iwaizumi said. “Punch that moron in the face before I get there so I pity them and don’t do it myself,” he laughed lightly and hung up. “Oikawa’s in good hands. I’m going over to Waka’s right now to pick them up.” He shoved his phone back in his pocket.

“Are you two really broken up, then?” Kenma asked, resting his hand on the door handle.

“God, no,” Iwaizumi chuckled. “We get into little fights like this quite often. And it always ends the same. One of us apologizes before the day is over because we can’t stand not being with each other.”

Kenma nodded. “You’re a patient guy.”

Iwaizumi just shrugged. “The things you put up with for love, am I right?”

“I suppose so… I’ll see you around, Iwaizumi-san,” Kenma said with a nod as he opened the door.

Iwaizumi gave a light wave. “Don’t worry about the QA meeting. I’ll keep Oikawa at home tonight so you can go and meet everybody without them there.”

Kenma nodded his head and shut the door, swinging his backpack over his shoulder before making his way back to his dorm.

When he arrived, he sauntered up into his bed and buried his face into his pillow.

He knew he wasn't going to be able to wait until Saturday to tell Kuroo. He needed to do it tonight.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you thought? Like I said, it's kind of rough. I'm still getting back into the swing of writing again, as it's been a really rough few months. I just need to find my groove, and everything will be A OK. Also, as you might come to find, this fic touches on a lot of very sensitive topics, like gender and sexual identity. If you see any forms of misrepresentation, or I say something offensive, PLEASE TELL ME. I am informed on a lot of this stuff, but I am nowhere near perfect, nor am I an expert. I don't want an accidental fuck up to turn you off from continuing to read.
> 
> As always, thank you to my wonderful beta, Sipping Tea, for editing this for me and putting up with my shittiness. You're amazing <3
> 
> If you enjoy this story, or just kuroken in general, give me a follow at www.kuroken-for-the-win.tumblr.com!! I post the status of my fics every so often, but it's usually just a lot of sin.


	5. A Bittersweet Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very sorry.

“I can’t wait for you to meet _everybody!_ ” Hinata exclaimed to Kenma. They were currently walking through campus to get to the QA meeting, which was located in the heart of the recreational center.

Kenma had fallen asleep before, missing the texts from Kuroo that begged him to come to their volleyball practice. Hinata didn’t let him get away with sleeping through the meeting, however, so he was dragged from his warm bed and out into reality.

“How many people will be there?” Kenma asked, covering his hesitation with a yawn.

“Ummm, I don’t know! The first meeting will probably have a lot just because of the oncoming first years. After a while, people start missing meetings. There should be close to fifty people today, though!”

Kenma almost tripped over his feet. “Fifty?” he asked, astounded.

Hinata hooked his arm through Kenma’s. “Yeah, but I’ll be there with you! And Kuroo will be there too! We’ll probably just do introductions today, so it’ll be super easy and laid back.”

Kenma turned quickly and tried to walk back to the dorm.

“Kenmaaaa!” Hinata exclaimed, clinging tighter to his arm.

“I can’t face that many people and introduce myself,” he admitted. “This is a bad idea.”

“It’s fine. You can look at me or Kuroo the entire time.”

“I don’t want to look at either of you,” Kenma said stubbornly, glancing to the side. “I just want to go back to the dorm.”

Hinata narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Something happened today.”

“No,” Kenma huffed, once again growing irritated with how perceptive Hinata could be. “You know I hate large groups of people. Queer or not, I don’t want to go.”

“You’re a terrible liar. You’ve been odd since I woke you up.” Hinata smiled sympathetically, tugging Kenma back towards the rec center. “Tell me what happened.”

Kenma sighed, defeated, and let Hinata lead the way. “I don’t know how to explain it…”

“Does it have to do with Kuroo?”

“Sort of.”

“ _Spillllll!”_ Hinata begged, shaking Kenma’s arm.

“It’s…ugh. Basically, Oikawa is upset and kind of hates me because Kuroo wants to date me.”

“…Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“But that’s not fair!” Hinata whined, leaning on Kenma. “You came to this school so that you could be in a safe space and if Oikawa is almost everywhere the queers gather…”

“It’s fine,” Kenma shrugged him off. “Iwaizumi and I had a talk. He said that they weren’t going to go to the meeting, so they won’t even be there tonight. But that doesn’t stop me from being nervous about going.”

Hinata nodded, opening the door to the rec center. “You sure attract a lot of attention, no matter how hard you try to blend in.”

“Tell me about it,” Kenma scoffed, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

Hinata lead them up the stairs to the second floor and then down a wide hallway. Kenma could make out Kuroo’s figure leaning against an open doorway, talking loudly as Bokuto told some sort of animated story.

Kenma made eye contact with Kuroo, who grinned widely and raised his hand with a wave.

“Kenma!” he called. “I didn’t think you were going to show up, to be honest.”

“Me either,” Kenma huffed, glaring at Hinata, who only returned his look with a smile. “I fell asleep. But I can go back to my dorm, though, that would be cool-“

“Hell no!” Kuroo yelled, swinging his arm around Kenma’s shoulders. “Come on, there should be an open seat next Akaashi. I have to stay at the door to greet people, but I’ll be able to come talk to you after a while, okay?”

 Kenma nodded, thankful that he would be able to sit in between Akaashi and Hinata. After he sat down, Kuroo retreated back to the doorway with Bokuto.

“Hello, Kenma,” Akaashi greeted with a smile as he looked up from his phone.

Kenma returned the smile. “Hey, Akaashi.”

“How are you?”

“I’m fine,” Kenma nodded. “You?”

“Fine, fine. I’m happy you came tonight. Kuroo would have hunted you down if you hadn’t.”

Kenma chuckled. “I feel like you’re not even joking about that.”

“Sadly, no,” he sighed. Kenma was burning to ask him questions, but what could he say? ‘Hinata told me you’re trans, and I’m trans too, do you think Kuroo will hate me?’

He decided to just keep his mouth shut about it and take some deep breaths instead.

Since they had arrived quite early, Kenma was able to observe each person as they walked through the door, analyzing from afar while pretending to look at his phone.

To his relief, nobody really looked all that intimidating. There were some familiar faces, but nobody shouted ‘Hey, I’m a huge asshole!’ so Kenma was able to calm his nerves a little bit.

There was one person, however, who looked exceptionally stoic, but not necessarily intimidating. He had dark brown hair that shone olive under the harsh fluorescent lights. He was also extremely tall, wearing purple and white sweatpants with a matching hoodie.

“Tetsurou,” the man approached Kuroo, who was now shuffling through some papers at a table near the front of the room.

Kenma observed them through his eyelashes.

“What’s up, Waka Flocka?” Kuroo grinned, slapping him on the back.

The man rolled his eyes. “Can we talk for a second?” _._

Kenma turned to Hinata, who was chatting with a small blonde girl who had settled in next to him. “Shouyou…” he said quietly. Hinata turned to him immediately. “Who’s the guy talking to Kuroo over there?”

Hinata’s eyes scanned the room and found who Kenma was talking about. “That’s Ushijima Wakatoshi!” he exclaimed. “He’s the treasurer.”

Kenma nodded. By the looks of it, they were having an intense conversation. And Kenma knew it was about him by the look that Kuroo shot at him.

He lowered his head and scrolled mindlessly through his dashboard.

After a few panic filled minutes, a message popped up.

From: Kuroo

**I want to talk to you about what happened but now isn’t the time. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay though??**

Kenma took a deep breath and looked up, his eyes meeting Kuroo’s extremely concerned ones. His heart shuddered as he looked back down quickly and typed a response.

_I’m fine. And I agree, we have a lot to talk about._

Kenma watched Kuroo as he opened up his message, and looked back at Kenma, a small frown on his face. Kenma went back to his phone, trying to remain as calm as possible.

At five o clock, Kuroo stood in front of the room at a table lined with what must have been the executive board members.

“Hello everybody!” he said loudly, all traces of any kind of discontentment erased from his expression. “I want to welcome you to this semester’s first QA meeting. This is my first year as president, so forgive me if I lack some of the formalities. Daichi would probably be better suited for this position, but he’s not as good looking as I am, so he didn’t get the vote.” He shot a wink down the line at Daichi, who just smiled and shook his head.

Kenma was almost jealous at how well Kuroo could speak in front of a group of people. He was just so damn charismatic, open, and relatable. Completely the opposite of himself.

The board members introduced themselves; Yui Michimiya, Vice President. Sawamura Daichi, Director of Outreach and Inclusivity. Bokuto Koutarou, Director of Publications. Wakatoshi Ushijima, Director of Finances.

“And they’re not here tonight, but Oikawa Tooru is our Director of Communications. Those annoying emails you get bi-weekly will be from them.” Kenma could see the distaste on Kuroo’s face, but everybody else took him lightly and laughed along with his fake chuckles.

“We’re going to do a little activity since there are some new faces in here tonight. I just want you to give your name, pronouns, and your favorite meme. If you don’t have a favorite meme, you can leave because we don’t need that negativity in this space.”

More laughter from the group.

“Alright, anyways, I’ll start us off. My name is Kuroo Tetsurou. My pronouns are he/him/his. Being the meme King, my favorite one currently would have to be the Pepe meme. However, my all-time favorite would be the classic “Mmm Whatcha Say” meme.”

Kenma barely paid attention to what anyone else was saying because the blood was pumping so hard through his body. What _was_ his favorite meme? Did he even like memes? What was a meme?!

The group rounded quickly, until Hinata was done introducing himself.

Kenma’s face burned as he tried to avoid eye contact with literally everyone. “Umm…My name is Kozume Kenma. My pronouns are he/him/his. And my favorite meme is…” he looked up to the ceiling for inspiration, but it truly was of no use. “Well, I don’t really have one, but my favorite song is Uptown Funk, and I think that’s just as embarrassing.”

“Hey now!” Kuroo called out while the group chuckled. “What did I say about negativity?”

Kenma only shrugged, completely overwhelmed with the feeling that spread through him.

When everybody had finished introducing themselves, Kuroo adjourned the meeting.

“We’ll be meeting in here same time next week!” he stated. “We’re going to do a little poll on what you all expect from this organization, so come with some ideas!”

“Kenma,” Hinata nudged him. “I think Kageyama is trying to avoid me, sooooo I need to chase after him and annoy him, alright?” He was already running towards the door, so Kenma didn’t even bother to respond as he waited for the majority of the people to leave the room.

Akaashi tapped him lightly on the arm. “We’re getting dinner, and you’re more than welcome to join us.”

Kenma choked on his own words, but Kuroo popped in and interrupted. “Yaaaas, Kenma, come get dinner with us.” He held out his hand to help Kenma up, and Kenma took it lightly. “We just have to quickly fold up these chairs and put them away, then we can head over to the cafeteria.”

When the room was cleaned up, Kuroo’s hand twined in with Kenma’s as they walked out the doors.

Kenma’s throat was thick. It felt as though Kuroo were dragging him along, even though he was moving his feet all on his own.

He could feel Kuroo squeeze his hand tightly, and he looked up at him.

“I asked you a question, space cadet,” Kuroo chuckled. “Did you like the meeting?”

Kenma face burned. “Sorry. Yeah, it was…good.”

“Well, first meetings are usually pretty boring. We’ll get em’ going and they’ll become much more interesting, I promise.”

They didn’t say much to each other, though Kenma could tell that Kuroo was itching to ask him questions.

The truth was, Kenma didn’t know if he was even ready to answer any of them. How much did Kuroo know? Did Oikawa tell Waka, who in turn told Kuroo? Question after question flooded Kenma’s mind, he was so distracted he didn’t even notice that they had arrived at the cafeteria.

They all claimed a seat at a table before dispersing to get their own food.

Akaashi and Bokuto sat on one side of the table while Kuroo slid in right next to Kenma. His hand rested gently on Kenma’s knee, and he examined Kenma’s face for a silent approval.

Kenma gave it to him.

“How are your classes going, Kenma?” Akaashi asked.

“They’re okay,” Kenma shrugged, taking a sip of his water. “Some are better than others, but I feel like it will be a good semester.”

Akaashi smiled. “That’s good to hear. Kuroo had mentioned that you didn’t have that great of a time at your old school. I hope everybody is being much more respectful and kind here than they were there.”

Kenma forced a small smile. “Yeah, definitely.” He looked over to Bokuto and Kuroo who were deep in conversation about…well, Kenma couldn’t exactly figure it out.

“I tune them out a lot,” Akaashi admitted, eating a french fry. “They get into these weird conversations that _look_ important, but then you find out they’re just complete nonsense.”

Kenma smiled and looked to Kuroo, who had a frown on his face as he leaned closer to Bokuto.

“They don’t even realize you’re talking shit,” Kenma chuckled.

“They never do,” Akaashi sighed, but gave Kenma a smile. “You’re lucky- you caught them on a good night. Usually they’re loud and obnoxious. They’re even worse when we’re playing volleyball. Whether they’re on the same team or opposing ones, they never shut up.”

“I can’t even imagine,” Kenma said, nibbling on a chicken strip.

Akaashi nodded. “So, are you getting excited for the film festival?”

Kenma frowned. “What film festival?”

“I’m sure Kuroo can explain it better, since he’s the director of it…” Akaashi answered a bit louder, hoping to catch the attention of Kuroo.

He was unsuccessful.

“Kuro,” Kenma said lightly, twining his fingers with the ones on his thigh.

Kuroo’s head snapped immediately to Kenma, who blushed deeply as Akaashi chuckled.

“You never mentioned anything about a film festival to me.”

Kuroo’s face drained. “Right!” he exclaimed, squeezing Kenma’s hand. “Sorry, Bokuto and I were talking about something from our philosophy class…um, okay, so, yeah, the film festival! It’s queer-centric, so all of the films are about gays, lesbians, trans people- the whole lot. And it’s all about intersectionality, so we brought in films from all over the world.”

“That sounds kind of interesting,” Kenma nodded. “Did you organize the whole thing?”

Kuroo took a drink of his Sprite. “Naahh, not really. I’m the director, but there are a lot of others-“

“Don’t sell yourself short, Kuroo!” Bokuto whined. “He does the bulk of it!”

Kuroo shrugged. “Everybody else on the staff is really busy so I end up picking up some of their slack.”

“You mean _all_ of their slack.” Akaashi raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, I do a lot for them. But they get a lot done too!”

“Who programmed the films?” Akaashi tested.

“Uh…well, I did.”

“Who hung the posters?”

Kuroo blushed. “Me.”

“Who emailed and called every radio station and news show within two hundred miles of us?”

He looked to his plate. “Me.”

“Who wrote the grant proposals?”

“Okay, I get it!” Kuroo yelled. “I do a lot.”

“Damn right.” Bokuto nodded. “The staff photo should just be a profile of you, since nobody else takes it seriously.”

“Aren’t you the captain of the volleyball team?” Kenma asked.

“Well yeah, what does that have to do with anything?”

“I just figured maybe you would have more control over your staff is all,” Kenma shrugged.

“This is different,” Kuroo sighed. “The team is there because they want to be. And they love the sport. The staff for the film festival…well, they don’t really want to be there. It doesn’t even pay that well, but it’ll look damn good on a resume.” Kuroo sighed, peeling the crust off of his bread. “It’s the last year we’ll be doing it anyways,” he grumbled. “With budget cuts, I’ll be lucky if I can squander enough to keep the QA running.” He poked at his food. “But hey, enough of this down in the dumps type of shit. How are your classes going, Akaashi?”

They casually discussed course work and professors over the next hour, but the closer that they all were to being finished with their meal, the more nervous that Kenma became.

“We should probably get going, Bokuto,” Akaashi said, standing up. “We both have an early class tomorrow, and I still have an essay to work on.”

Bokuto flew up, grabbing both his and Akaashi’s dishes. “We’ll see you when you get home Kuroo! And then we can finish our discussion on free will.”

Kuroo nodded. “Yeah, I’ll see you later.”

“Have a good night, Kenma,” Akaashi said, giving him a small smile. “Hopefully we’ll see you around quite often.”

Kenma nodded and smiled back. He really liked the balance that Akaashi maintained.

But after they left, it was just him and Kuroo, and their hands were still clasped tightly together.

“So…” Kuroo began, running his thumb across the back of Kenma’s hand. “You wanna go for a little walk?”

Kenma’s heart hammered. This was it. Kuroo was going to ask all about Oikawa, and Kenma was going to tell him his secret. He felt like he might pass out.

He maintained a clear head, however, and they both stood up, separating their hands in order to throw their trays away.

Once they were back outside, Kuroo grabbed Kenma’s hand again.

“How are you?” he asked, concern in his eyes.

“I’m fine,” Kenma answered.

Kuroo clicked his tongue. “What happened with you and Oikawa?”

Kenma bit his lip and Kuroo sighed, letting his hand pull away from Kenma’s as he pulled his cigarettes out of his pocket. “I knew this would happen,” he huffed, lighting one up.

“Knew what would happen?” Kenma asked.

“Oikawa would get in between us and ruin any chance I have with you. Scare you off.”

Kenma swallowed hard. “I’m not scared of Oikawa.”

“So tell me what happened today.”

“They…they’re just jealous. Like you said.”

“Then why was Oikawa crying like a big baby on Waka’s poor, defenseless shoulder?” he asked, taking a drag.

Kenma wrapped his arms around his chest. “Kuro…you need to know something. Before I tell you anything about Oikawa, I…I haven’t been completely honest with you.” His throat began to close, and he grabbed Kuroo’s arm to stop him from walking.

“So be honest with me now, Kenma.” Kuroo said soothingly, flicking ash onto the ground.

Kenma took a deep breath and avoided Kuroo eyes. “I’m transgender.” He began strongly, but every word after that came out in a jumble. “And Oikawa found out and they threatened to tell you and then they mis-gendered me and Iwaizumi got really angry and they got into a fight and Iwaizumi brought me to his car and unloaded a lot of stuff onto me so that’s why Oikawa was crying because they thought Iwazumi broke up with them but it should be all better now because Iwazumi isn’t going to leave them.” Kenma blurted out, barely taking a breath.

“Wait,” Kuroo shook his head. “I don’t understand…you’re trans?”

Kenma wanted to cry, but he just nodded. “Yes.”

“Oh,” was all Kuroo said. “…Well, I mean, I guess…that changes things?”

Kenma nodded. “I wanted to tell you sooner, I just didn’t know how.”

“No, I get it.” Kuroo nodded. “I…I really appreciate you telling me this. I mean, yeah, sooner would have been better, but…”

Kenma nodded again. “I’m sorry that you got your hopes up,” he said, then turned to walk away, tears finally escaping down his face.

Even though he knew this would happen, it didn’t hurt any less.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, I'm very sorry. Lol. This cliffhanger is brutal. BUT I have GOOD NEWS I have the next five chapters already written, so Imma try to get one up every week :) 
> 
> As always, your feedback is super appreciated! Let me know how you liked it (or maybe you didn't like it???) To be honest, this didn't go the way I had originally intended, and I wasn't going to have a cliffhanger, but it seemed like an accurate place to call it off (and also I'm a slut for cliffhangers because it leaves me wanting more lmao) So yeah! As always, ty ty to my amazing beat, Sipping Tea! She puts up with my poor ability to proof read and always keeps me on my toes.
> 
> And if you like kuroken (or just pure haikyuu sin) gimme a follow at kuroken-for-the-win.tumblr.com! I love hearing from you all, as I live a pretty boring and uneventful life. Till next time <3


	6. Maybe a Little Tongue

“Wait, Kenma!” Kuroo exclaimed, grabbing at his arm. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going home,” Kenma growled, jerking away.

“You can’t just _leave,_ we still have a lot to talk about!”

“Like what?!” Kenma half yelled. “I don’t need a pity pep talk about how it’s okay and I’ll find happiness someday with someone who will accept me for what I am.”

“Pity pep talk?” Kuroo frowned, bending down to grind his cigarette out on the sidewalk. “Kenma, I wasn’t going to give you a pity pep talk.”

“Then what?” Kenma accused. “Are you going to tell me that I’m a shitty person? That I lead you on and that I lied to you, and I-” before he could finish, Kuroo grabbed Kenma’s arms and pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

“Will you please shut the fuck up for three seconds and let me speak?” he chuckled over Kenma’s head. He then leaned back, reaching forward to rest Kenma’s face in his hands. His thumbs stroked over Kenma’s cheeks, wiping away a few stray tears “I understand. Why you think this way, I mean. And as analytic as you are, you are so, _so_ wrong.” His eyes flicked back and forth between Kenma’s. “I’m sorry. I was confused because I was trying to figure out why you thought that was such a big deal-why you were so upset and thought that I wasn’t going to take it well. And I thought that this was some sort of roundabout way of telling me you weren’t interested or something.” He let go and shoved his hands into his pockets, the wind blowing his bangs out of his face. “You said you lied to me, as if not telling me were some kind of betrayal. And like…I just kind of thought that you knew...” his voice trailed off.

“Knew what?” Kenma snapped impatiently.

 Kuroo huffed out a breath and smiled. “That I’m pansexual.”

They stared at each other for a moment. “Excuse me?”

“Pansexual?” Kuroo repeated. “Like…as in…no sexual preference for any type of gender or sex?”

“But…I mean, I _thought_ you might be, but nobody ever said anything? I just thought that you…”

Kuroo grinned. “As I said, you were wrong. And it’s not like I put it on blast. You’re really the only person that knows. Everybody else just assumes I’m gay. I mean, trust me. Men- sorry,” he quickly shook his head, “ _dicks_ are great. And I’ve never been with anyone who had a vagina. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be into it, and that doesn’t mean I think any differently of you.”

Kenma felt like he was going to pass out. “So…you…are still interested?”

“Of course I’m still interested, nimrod!” Kuroo exclaimed. “Like I said before. I really like you. Regardless of gender and sex- wait,” he furrowed his brows together and hunched forward, “Is this why you’ve been so adamant about dating me?!”

Kenma slid his eyes to the side. “I thought you would be…turned off.”

Kuroo reached forward and grabbed the back of Kenma’s neck, pulling him into a kiss. As their lips met, Kenma felt all of the blood rush to his head, his heart going haywire.

Kuroo pulled away almost immediately and examined Kenma’s reaction, as if speculating whether or not that bold move had paid off. But Kenma looped his arms around Kuroo’s neck and pulled him back down for a much more passionate kiss. Kuroo’s lips parted immediately as Kenma slipped his tongue in, tasting the nicotine and…ah, barbeque sauce. Also, something hard hit his tongue, and he pulled away.

Kenma frowned. “Do you have your tongue pierced too?!”

Kuroo grinned and stuck his tongue out, revealing a silver metal ball in the center. “The better to lick you with, my dear,” he winked.

Kenma closed his eyes and held his forehead. “You’re such an idiot.”

Kuroo only grinned wider, but nuzzled his face down into Kenma’s neck. “An idiot who’s been dying to hold you and kiss you like this for forever.”

“We’ve only known each other a few days.” Kenma reminded him, tilting his head to the side.

“Mm. Feels longer than that though, doesn’t it?”

Kenma couldn’t argue with that one. They stood in silence, each of them waiting for the other to say something. Finally, Kenma took a deep breath and asked, “Kuro…can we go for a walk and talk a bit more?”

“Of course we can,” Kuroo agreed hastily, snaking down Kenma’s arm to hold onto his hand.

As they continued walking, Kuroo initiated the conversation with, “So…I’m still wondering how you swayed the school into letting you stay in an all-boys dorm.”

“I…have my ways,” Kenma smiled sheepishly.

Kuroo only chuckled. “What about your old school? And the volleyball team?”

“That was only a partial lie,” Kenma stated. “I was on the girl’s team. Official setter.”

“You were the official setter?!”

Kenma nodded. “My coach _did_ hate me, though.”

“Huh,” Kuroo sounded thoughtfully. “I wonder if I ever watched you play…”

“Maybe,” Kenma shrugged. “I don’t remember seeing you, but it’s possible. Also…I don’t look like what I did in high school. You remember how I told you that my mom forced me into the sport? Well, she did it because she thought that me being on a team full of girls would make me more ‘girly’. She made me wear makeup. Forced me to wear skirts and low cut shirts. She _encouraged_ me to go on dates with older men in hopes that it would…fix me. Then I joined the GSA in high school and met Shouyou. I lied to my parents and told them that I was dating him so that they would let me go to his house, and then when I was there I would dress in his clothes and wrap my chest. Shouyou’s parents liked me a lot, and they knew how terrible my parents were. So they loved having me over. When I started college last year, I was still presenting as female. Even Lev doesn’t know about me being trans…I never told him.”

“Wow,” Kuroo said, surprised. “How _did_ you keep it from him? I mean…it just must have been kind of degrading to you in a way, right?”

Kenma shrugged. “I don’t know. I was in college, so I never really had to dress in more than just comfortable, baggy clothing. Lev and I never did anything special either, and if we did, I wore jeans with one of his sweatshirts or something. But he never asked about my choice in clothes. So that was nice.”

“What about when you went back home for the summer?”

“I took online classes. It gave me a reason to never really leave the house, so I didn’t have to dress up. My parents were…surprisingly kind. I think my mom took it as a heartbreak type of thing, and she was happy when I said I was switching schools because she said it would be a ‘fresh start.’”

“So…” Kuroo hesitated over his words, “What happens when they want to see you again?”

Kenma shivered at the thought. “It’s going to be soon. But… I’m probably going to have to wear something that she bought me before this semester started. I need to make it apparent that I’m adjusting well here.”

“So you’ll have to wear a skirt or something.”

Kenma cringed. “Not necessarily. I just have to dress in something that’s not two sizes too big. And I can’t bind my chest. It’s going to suck, but… my mom told me when I was in high school that “If God had intended to make me a boy, he wouldn’t have given me two X chromosomes.”

“What a piece of work,” Kuroo grumbled.

“Mm,” Kenma agreed. “So I just have to make sure that they don’t suspect anything. I… I rely too heavily on their financial support for them to disown me.”

“I guess that makes sense…” Kuroo sighed, squeezing Kenma’s hand a little tighter. “You know, when the time comes, I could go with you. If you think that telling them you have a new boyfriend would make them less suspicious…”

_Boyfriend._ Kenma thought. _He says it so casually._ “As much as I would love to take you up on that offer…I don’t want you to see me like that. Not to mention, they’re not kind people. Do you really think that you could sit through a dinner with two bigoted adults without fighting with them? They’re going to harass me the whole time.”

“Even more of a reason for me to go with. For moral support.”

Kenma shook his head. “It’s of no offense to you. But I wouldn’t want you there. You don’t deserve it.”

Kenma could tell that his answer frustrated Kuroo, but he didn’t pry any more, and Kuroo changed the subject.

“Are you getting cold?” he asked, grinding Kenma’s hand in his own. “Your fingers are like icicles.”

“A little,” Kenma admitted. The sun had gone down, allowing the cool night air to seep through his clothing. “We should probably head back?”

Kuroo nodded and began to unzip his hoodie. “Take this,” he said, slipping his arms out.

“Then you’ll be cold.”

“Nah, I’m a furnace!” Kuroo grinned, shoving the sweatshirt into Kenma’s arms.

Kenma sighed, but didn’t object any further. He slipped into the sleeves and zipped it up to his chin, burying his face into the collar.

It smelled fresh and clean, and a liiiiiittle bit spicy. Just like Kuroo.

They joined hands once again and began their way back to Kenma’s dorm.

“I can’t believe Oikawa,” Kuroo breathed, running his free hand through his hair. “I’m going to kill them.”

Kenma bit his lip. No, they weren’t on good terms, but he _did_ understand Oikawa’s situation. He truly didn’t want Oikawa to get hurt from all of this. “Um, actually…can you…not be harsh on them?” Kenma pushed. “Iwaizumi told me everything. About your relationship. And how you really helped Oikawa with their identity and all that. I think they’re just scared to lose you, and I don’t want to be the person who takes you away from them.”

“It’s inexcusable,” Kuroo reminded him sternly.

“It’s human nature. Oikawa thinks that you’re going to abandon them forever. I’d be terrified too.”

“I’m thinking I _should_ abandon them,” Kuroo mumbled. “I know you’re right. And Oikawa means a lot to me. So does Iwa. But that doesn’t make up for the shitty things they said to you.”

“Can you at least talk to them about it all, please?” Kenma half begged. “I know what it’s like to feel helpless, and that’s probably where Oikawa is sitting right now. Don’t hate them on my behalf.”

It didn’t look like Kuroo was about to budge, so Kenma decided to play dirty.

“Kuro, if you don’t iron things out with Oikawa, I won’t go out with you.”

Kuroo’s jaw dropped as he looked down at Kenma. “Are you serious?!”

“Dead serious,” Kenma answered. “I told you, I don’t want drama. I don’t want people getting hurt. You love Oikawa, and Oikawa loves you. They _need_ you. If you abandon them…well, I’m not sure I want to date someone who would do that to their friend.”

Kuroo was silent for a moment, and Kenma wondered if he pushed the boundaries too far too soon.

“I can’t believe you,” Kuroo chuckled. “Even after Oikawa was total trash to you, you’re sticking up for them. Your kindness baffles me beyond belief.”

Kenma rolled his eyes. “I’m not kind. I just don’t want anybody to get hurt because of me.”

“Well, yeah. That’s what kindness _is,_ Kenma.”

Kenma only shook his head.

“Soo…” Kuroo dragged out as they neared Alexander Hall. “If I chat with Oikawa about this mess, you’ll go out with me?”

“Yes,” Kenma answered immediately. “If you’re alright with me…being me…and everything.” Kenma’s heart raced, but Kuroo only grinned.

“As if I could _not_ be alright, looking at this cute fucking face,” Kuroo grinned and leaned down to press _another_ kiss to Kenma’s lips. “We still have a date for Saturday night too, by the way.”

“I know,” Kenma nodded. “I…I’m really looking forward to it.” Kuroo smiled, and this time Kenma was the one to stand on his tip toes and kiss him. “Tonight,” Kenma reminded him. “Talk to them tonight and let me know how it goes.”

Kuroo groaned, but agreed. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I will. Ugh, but they might be having passionate make up sex with Iwa!”

Kenma snorted. “I’m sure it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

Kuroo rolled his eyes. “Yeah but that’s _different._ I’ve never walked in on them without joining. It’ll be embarrassing.”

“I have a hard time believing that you actually get embarrassed about something like that,” Kenma said, narrowing his eyes.

Kuroo only laughed. “You’re probably right,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Um…so…I’ll text you?”

“Sure,” Kenma nodded. “Don’t forget.”

Kuroo rolled his eyes. “As if I could forget,” he smiled, then gave a short wave before turning to walk back down the sidewalk.

When Kenma got up to his room, his head was spinning.

He had worried himself sick these past few days over nothing and now he was (technically) dating the pierced up moron who hit on him at his first college party.

And they had already kissed. Like three times. Of course, he didn’t necessarily think they were moving too fast- but it was just surreal.

He grabbed his toothbrush and mouthwash before padding down the hall to the bathroom where he brushed his teeth quickly. It was only after rinsing his mouth that he realized he was still wearing Kuroo’s hoodie.

He blushed and walked quickly back to his room, avoiding eye contact with the people that he passed. He put his stuff back into the drawer from which it came and settled into the chair at his desk, opening his laptop to get started on some readings for his Psych class.

 

 

When Hinata arrived back to the dorm, Kenma didn’t even have to say anything.

“That’s Kuroo’s sweater!” he exclaimed, giving the sleeve a slight tug.

“Yeah…” Kenma flushed. “I told him everything…and now we’re dating.”

“Kenma!” Hinata exclaimed, grabbing hold of his face. “I’m so excited for you!”

Kenma tried to hide a small smile, but it was a wasted attempt. “Thank you, Shouyou.”

“I _knew_ he was going to be cool with everything. Kenma, this is just so exciting! We can go on double dates with him and Kageyama!”

Kenma raised his eyebrows. “Everything is okay between you two, then?”

Hinata nodded. “I chased him down and talked to him again and I think that we’re going to be okay. He’s just…indecisive. But he really likes me, and I really like him. We’re actually going out on Friday, so I might end up crashing at his dorm!”

Kenma silently cheered. Having the night to himself would be relieving. “That’s great. I’m glad you finally got everything straightened out.”

Hinata nodded, stretching out on the futon. “I’m kind of surprised at you, though. Already kissing Kuroo? It just seems fast to me.”

Kenma shrugged. “I like him a lot. I don’t really know why. When I met him on Sunday, I just…he opened up to me. He didn’t hold anything back, and he was honest. I really like that about him. I like that I know I can trust him. And now that he knows about me being trans…that makes me like him so much more. Although,” he crossed his arms over his chest, “I’m starting to wonder if he has _any_ flaws at all.”

“Oh. My. God. Kenma, you are _soooo_  in love with him!”

“I am not!” Kenma half yelled. “It’s not like that at all. I just…gah, I really respect him.”

“You love him.”

“I’ve only known him for a few days.”

“As if that matters,” Hinata grumbled.

“I don’t love him,” Kenma said quietly. “I just really like him.”

Hinata giggled from the futon. “Well, I can’t say I blame you. He _is_ a great guy. You know…I actually think I may have had a teeny little crush on him last year.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I was practicing with the volleyball team before I became an official member, and he was always giving me advice. It was just a petty crush, nothing more. Sure he calls me names, but they’re harmless. He doesn’t do things with the intention of hurting people. But you have to remember, everybody has their flaws. He’s not perfect. You just haven’t seen every side of him yet.”

Kenma snorted. “I’m not forcing my ideals onto him, if that’s what you’re getting at. I know he has flaws.” He spun his computer chair. “What else do you know about him?”

Hinata crossed his arms behind his head. “I don’t know. I mean, I’ve been around him a lot, but he doesn’t talk about himself to us that much. I don’t know anything about his family. I don’t know anything about his past love life, other than him being with Iwaizumi and Oikawa. I think he enjoys listening to others talk about themselves rather than talking about himself.”

Kenma frowned, thinking about how open Kuroo was when they first met. “Why do you think he gushed to me about his relationship problems then? At the party, I mean.”

“Maybe he thinks he can trust you, just like you think you can trust him.”

Kenma nodded. Hinata _had_ been on a good perceptiveness streak, so maybe he was right about this too. “Yeah, I suppose that could be true.”

They continued to make small talk about their days until the conversation tapered off, Kenma focusing on his readings while Hinata began to fall asleep on the futon. It wasn’t long after that before Kenma crawled into his own bed, too tired to even bother playing his PSP.

As he laid there, he couldn’t help but bury his face into his pillow and smile.

 

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends! I decided not to even bother leaving you a note at the beginning of this chapter. Sorry that it was so dialogue heavy- a lot of the future chapters probably will be too, because I'm a slut for words rather than actions. Anyways, I hope you liked it?? Obviously Kuroo wasn't going to let Kenma get away. He's too kind ;) Anyways, the pacing of this is definitely going to start picking up speed, so for those of you who are growing bored, fear not! P.S. I'm pansexual and relate to Kuroo on an insanely similar wavelength soooo sorry if I write a lot of myself into his character?? But at the same time, I'm not sorry, because he's perf.
> 
> As always, thank you to my wonderful beta, Sipping Tea, for all the hard work that she does :)
> 
> Also, follow me on tumblr dot com? kuroken-for-the-win.tumblr.com! I sometimes post cute stuff, but also much sin.


	7. Sharing is Caring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friends. Friends, I am really sorry for the neglect. I'll spare you the details and excuses. I recently went back and edited previous chapters, but no major details changed- if you liked the story up until now, then you're golden. The only thing worth noting is that I also wrote Hinata as trans now to help clear up confusion (and anger, from some) about Kenma being able to stay in an all boys dorm. So now he's in a co-ed dorm, with Hinata, who is also a trans male. 
> 
> Anyways, this chapter takes place mainly from Kuroo's POV. Let me know if it gets a little confusing or anything. :)

Kuroo’s head was buzzing as he unlocked his car in the student parking lot.

He had kissed Kenma.

Kenma had kissed him.

They were dating…kind of. Technically.

He had to tell Bokuto _everything._

When he got home, he kicked his shoes off and peeked into the living room, finding both Bokuto and Akaashi working diligently on homework. He drew a deep breath and let it out loudly as he sauntered into the room with them, flopping onto an overstuffed and slightly tattered dark red armchair.

“What’s up, bro?” Bokuto asked as he looked up from his laptop, a small frown on his face.

“Who, me?” Kuroo asked, resting his hand on his chest. “Nothing. Just sitting here. With my two best friends.”

“What did you and Kenma do?” Bokuto asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Akaashi gave him an unimpressed looked, but peered over at Kuroo expectantly.

Kuroo shrugged and began to examine his nails. “We kissed,” he shrugged, acting as if his heart wasn’t beating so rapidly that he might puke it up.

“WHAT?!” Bokuto yelped, a grin on his face. “Oh man, I _knew_ he liked you!”

“Are you two dating?” Akaashi asked over Bokuto’s loud howls.

Kuroo nodded, wondering if it would be okay to tell them about Kenma’s situation. He knew that it probably _wasn’t_ , but he also knew that Akaashi and Bokuto could be trusted, especially when it came to matters like this. “We are, but technically, we’re not. He kind of gave me…an ultimatum.”

Both Akaashi and Bokuto frowned. “An ultimatum?” Akaashi asked.

“Yeah. Apparently, Kenma is transgender. And Oikawa caught wind of that. And, being Oikawa, got suuuuper jealous about our relationship. They took it out on Kenma and were really shitty to him about it. But Kenma told me he won’t date me until I figure things out with them.”

“Oh,” Akaashi said simply. “Oikawa tends to be a bit irrational at times, but I can see where they’re coming from.”

“I want to deck them, Akaashi. Please talk me out of going over there right now and ruining my chance with Kenma.”

Akaashi sighed and set his pencil down, folding his arms into his lap. “Kuroo, Oikawa loves you in a different way than Iwaizumi does. That’s why it’s harder on them than it is on him. You helped Oikawa through what could be the most difficult part of their life. They’ve got to be _terrified_ at the thought of losing you.”

“Then they shouldn’t have acted out.”

“Come on, bro,” Bokuto whined. “Give the kid a break. Oikawa thinks the world of you, and they think that you’re going to abandon them. Go over there and tell them that they first need to apologize to Kenma for being so shitty, and that you don’t have any plans on leaving them.”

“Is that fair to Kenma, though?”

“Kenma _wants_ you to do it, so I think it’s pretty fair,” Akaashi reasoned. “Kuroo, if you don’t do it, Kenma isn’t going to date you. So just go over there and see what happens. I’m sure that Oikawa would want to explain themselves to you first hand anyways.”

Kuroo sighed. “You run a tough bargain, Akaashi. But I suppose you’re right.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and stood up., shooting a text to both Iwaizumi and Oikawa.

_I’m coming over in ten. Please be clothed and ready for an ass whooping._

After a minute with no response, he thought that his sarcasm might have been taken seriously, so he send a follow up text.

_Jk. But seriously. We have to talk._

 

* * *

 

Oikawa’s eyes were red and puffy when Kuroo finally wrestled them out of the blanket that they tried to hide themselves under.

“Are you five?” Kuroo asked, throwing the blanket to the floor as he pinned Oikawa down to the bed. “I’m actually trying to have an adult discussion with you, so can you _please_ act like one?”

More tears formed in Oikawa’s eyes, but they stopped squirming.

“Thank you,” Kuroo said, sliding off of Oikawa. “Now, can you please tell me why you’ve been so shitty to Kenma?”

Oikawa rubbed at their eyes and sniffed lightly as he sat up. “I wasn’t being shitty to him.”

“My sources say otherwise,” Kuroo said icily. “I like him a lot, Oikawa. Just as I like you, and just as I like Iwa.”

“But you’re going to leave us for him!” Oikawa raised his voice. “How is that fair? How come he gets you all to himself?”

“You _idiot,_ I’m never going to just cut you two out of my life!” Kuroo looked over to Iwaizumi, who was leaning on the door frame, then back to Oikawa. “Listen to me. You are one of my best friends, okay? I’m always going to love you. The _only_ thing that is going to change is that you won’t get this fine piece of ass anymore.”

Iwa snorted, but began to saunter over to sit next to Oikawa on the bed. “You see, Shittykawa?” he asked, gently rubbing their back. “Kuroo will still be here for you when you need him. We just have to share him with Kenma.”

“I don’t want to share him,” Oikawa mumbled.

Kuroo sighed. “I don’t really care what you want. Kenma told me to come over here tonight and make sure you know that I will still be here for you. Actually, he said that he wasn’t going to date me until I had everything figured out with you. So I’m here because _he’s_ a _good_ guy. So I’m willing to put all of this behind us and forget about how you treated him. But if you harass him again, or treat him like dirt, or fucking _misgender_ him, I swear to God Oikawa, I will never speak to you again.”

Oikawa was silent, and Iwaizumi stared blankly at the floor.

“What makes him so special?” Oikawa asked quietly. “How does someone you just met make you put _our_ relationship on the line?”

“Kenma isn’t putting our relationship on the line,” Kuroo said sternly. “ _You_ are.” He reached forward and rested his hand on Oikawa’a knee. “You two have done so much for me. You’ve shown me what it means to have a good significant other. You’ve shown me what it means to have good team mates, and good friends. You’ve shown me all of this, and now it’s time for me to do it on my own. Kenma is…Kenma is a _really_ good kid. I knew it from the moment we first spoke. He’s smart, and talented, and he speaks what’s on his mind. Kind of like someone I know.” He smiled weakly at Oikawa. “Not to mention, he’s had a rough life too. He comes from a shitty family, and this is his first chance to express his gender the way he sees fit. Don’t…don’t you _dare_ do anything to hurt him ever again.” Kuroo’s voice was cold. “Don’t you dare treat him like others have treated you.”

Oikawa took a second before replying. “I want you to be happy,” they choked. “I want you to be happy, and if Kenma is the one who can make you happy, then fine. I’m not going to become his best friend or anything like that., but,” he licked his dry lips, “I _am_ going to apologize. Not even for you, but for him. It’s not like he purposely caught your eye and took you from us. If you give me his number…I’ll text him. And I’ll tell him I’m sorry.”

Relief spread throughout Kuroo, and he pulled Oikawa into a bone crushing hug. “Thank you,” he breathed, giving Iwa a small nod.

“But like I said, I am _not_ going to be his best friend!” Oikawa exclaimed, his arms wrapping around Kuroo’s waist.

Kuroo chuckled, pulling away. “Something tells me that you two wouldn’t make a very good ‘best friend’ duo, anyways.”

Oikawa’s jaw dropped. “Anybody would be _honored_ to be my best friend!”

“Okay, shittykawa,” Iwa scoffed. “I can see your head swelling.”

“Mean!” Oikawa yelled, but he was smiling.

Kuroo gave Kenma’s phone number to Oikawa before he left, and shot a text to Kenma himself.

**I’m really happy that you made me talk to them**

_It went well, then?_

**They’re going to apologize to you. And they are content with maintaining a non-intimate friendship with me. It took a lot of bludgeoning, but I think we’re all gonna be okay**

_I hope you don’t mean that literally_

****

Kuroo grinned down at his phone before replying

**Only emotionally, of course. But I’ll let you get some sleep. Goodnight, Kenma :***

He pulled into his driveway and put his car in park, taking a deep sigh before getting out.

He was really, _really_ happy.

 

* * *

 

 

From: Unknown

To: Me

_Kenma-chaaaaaan. I’m sorry for the way I treated you. As you know by now, I really care about Kuroo. Like, a lot. I don’t hate you for stealing him from us (even though yes, we weren’t technically dating) but you can’t blame me for getting upset. He’s one of my favorite people in the world, next to Iwa-chan, so if you hurt him, you’ll suffer the consequences_ _J But anyways, I do hope that you can forgive me and we can put this all behind us. Sometimes I think Kuroo wears his heart on his sleeve, but I can tell you’re a good person. Please don’t prove me wrong, and please don’t ever hurt him. (unless it’s in bed. Heads up, he’s kind of a sub) Oh! If you ever need sex advice, come to me! I know his body like the back of my hand ;) Anyways, have a good night, Kenma-chan. Thank you for sharing Kuroo with me <3_

Kenma knew Oikawa would be the _last_ person on Earth that he would go to for sex advice, but the sentiment was there. Though, there were quite a few passive aggressive under tones in the message, but he decided to blow them off. As long as he didn’t need to worry about harassment from them, that’s all that mattered.

The next day went really well for Kenma. He got to his classes on time. He finished all of his homework, and even got ahead in some of his readings. He and Hinata were even able to spend some quality time gaming before they headed to bed. Though he didn’t get to see Kuroo due to conflicting schedules, he still received enough snapchats and texts to make up for it.

Unfortunately, good things seemed to end rather quickly these days.

From: Mother

_Your father and I are coming up to visit next weekend. Which dorm are you staying in?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. Sort of cleared up some angst. I apologize to those who got angry with me about the transphobic content- but I literally state that in the tags so...anyways. As always, thank you so much for your patience and devotion to reading this awful sin. If you enjoy it, give me a follow at kuroken-for-the-win.tumblr.com Ily all <3


	8. Persuasion versus Manipulation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT'S UP YA'LL. LOOKS WHO'S (kinda) BACK?!?!?!
> 
> Just so ya know, I uploaded two chapters at once, so if you haven't read chapter 7, go back and do it- it's short and important.
> 
> I uploaded this without being beta'ed because I'm a POS (you're great K, I just wanted to upload this right away lol) I'm sure there's a lot wrong with it, but the only thing I worry about is ya'll getting confused. So if there is any confusion, please let me know? As for problematic content, I DO like to know about it, but I don't guarantee any changes. I usually run my ideas through people who have particular experiences, so I like to think my writing isn't completely inaccurate, but that doesn't mean we won't miss something that might be really shitty.
> 
> Also, sorry if these chapters feel rushed. I ended up adding more angst than I wanted to, so it's starting to veer off from the original plot, which is, essentially, a purely sinful relationship between Kuroo and Kenma. So I'm trying to get myself back on track, now that I'm writing again.
> 
> Anyways, as always, enjoy this chapter :)

Kenma didn’t get any sleep that night, and it showed the next morning.

“Kenma-chaaaan~” Oikawa greeted him with a smile when he got to class. It made him feel a bit uneasy, but he didn’t feel like making their situation any more awkward than it already was. Besides, it didn’t seem to be bothering Oikawa that much so… “Oh…Kenma-chan, are you okay?”

Kenma forced a small smile, sitting down next to Oikawa. “Yeah, just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

“Are you already falling behind in coursework?!”

“No, no,” Kenma waved his hand. “I’m ahead actually. Just…other things going on. It’s nothing, really. How are you?”

Kenma could tell that Oikawa wanted to pry, to get him to talk about what was going on, but he held his tongue and moved on with the conversation. “I’m fine! Do you have any plans for tonight?”

“Ahh, not really,” Kenma shrugged, remembering that he would have the dorm to himself that evening. “I’ll probably play video games and eat a lot of junk food.”

“Ohhh, that sounds like fun!” Oikawa said genuinely. “Iwa and I were going to rent some movies and snuggle, but I would love to come play video games instead!”

“Hey, stupid, it wasn’t an invite,” Iwaizumi butted in, pulling hard on a strand on Oikawa’s hair.

“ _Ow,_ Iwa-chan! I know it wasn’t an invite, I was hoping he would get the hint and have us over!”

“We already spent the money on renting the movies, and if we don’t watch them tonight, they’ll be overdue.”

Oikawa groaned. “Such a buzzkill. Sorry, Kenma-chan. Maybe another time we can get together? Kuroo works tonight, doesn’t he?”

Kenma nodded, grateful for Iwaizumi’s interception. “Yeah. From six until four.”

“Ahh, he’s such a workaholic. Make sure he makes time for you though, okay? He tends to get enveloped in his work and his studies, and it stresses him out a lot. Though, he’ll never let you see that part of him. It’s a rare sight to see Kuroo anxious or truly stressed out.”

“We’re going out tomorrow night, so I’ll get to spend a bit of time with him then,” Kenma said awkwardly. Even though he was happy with the fact that Oikawa didn’t hate him, he was still a little hesitant about talking about his and Kuroo’s relationship. He didn’t want it to seem like he was rubbing it in their faces or anything like that.

Then again, Oikawa was the one who initiated conversation about Kuroo. Kenma figured it was a roundabout way of keeping tabs on him.

He couldn’t blame them for that.

 

_Hey! I’m outside your dorm. Let’s walk to class together?_

**I’ll be down in a minute.**

Kenma hurriedly slung his backpack over his shoulder and made his way out of the building.

Kuroo was sitting on the rickety wooden park bench, his elbows leaned forward on widespread knees. When he looked up, Kenma’s heart caught in his throat.

Kuroo was wearing his usual body jewelry- nose ring, lip ring, eyebrow ring, and earrings. But he was also wearing a gray beanie that contained his messy hair, and he looked _stunning._

“Hey!” Kuroo stood up, smiling happily. “You look really nice today,” he said, twining his fingers with Kenma’s.

“You’re lying,” Kenma accused, aware that his skin was blotchy and his eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep.

“No, I mean it! You always look nice. You do look tired, though. Did you have a hard time sleeping last night?” he asked as they began to walk.

“My mother texted me last night,” he sighed. “I wasn’t able to sleep.”

“Oh. Well…what did she say?”

“Apparently she and my father want to come visit me next week.”

“Yikes,” Kuroo breathed. “What did you say?”

“I told her that I looked forward to it. But…she wants to come _here._ Like, see the dorm, see my classrooms, see _everything._ She’s going to freak out.” His heart started to beat rapidly, and he could feel his hand going clammy inside of Kuroo’s. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Don’t stress.” Kuroo squeezed his hand. “We’ll figure it out.”

“How?”

“Well,” Kuroo began, “Why don’t we tell them not to worry about it? And that you have to grab a few things from home anyways, so your beautiful boyfriend will be bringing you over? Maybe they’ll bite and will forget about coming here to visit.”

 “I don’t want you to see me like that,” Kenma reminded him as he looked ahead, avoiding eye contact. “It’s not fair to you.”

“To _me?_ ” Kuroo questioned. “How about it being unfair to _you?_ Kenma, I don’t care. It’s not going to bother me. It’s not going to make me think any differently of you. You’re my boyfriend. My significant other. What you wear won’t change that. What your parents think won’t change that. Please don’t shut me out to try to protect me or something.”

Kenma bit his lip. “You’re sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“If they go for it…can I get ready at your apartment? I don’t really want anyone in the dorms to see me like that either…”

Kuroo squeezed his hand. “Of course. My place is always available to you. Akaashi and Bokuto really like you too, and I can ask them to leave if you-”

“No,” Kenma cut him off. “They don’t need to leave for my sake. And actually…if you wanted to mention it to them that I’m trans…that would be great. Hinata told me that Akaashi is, and it would be really nice to have a friend who was like me, you know? Other than Hinata.”

Kuroo grinned down at him. “Definitely. I, uh, may have already mentioned it. They sort of squeezed out the whole story from me last night. I know I should have waited for the okay from you, but I was so excited…”

Kenma heart flopped. “It’s fine. I don’t mind. I don’t exactly expect you to keep something like that from your best friends.”

Kuroo nodded. “You’re really going to get along well with ‘Kaashi. He kind of reminds me of you, in a way. Calm, quiet, smart.” He winked down at Kenma.

They settled into their seats, and Kenma found that it was easier to focus today than it had been previously.

 

Having the dorm room to himself was the best thing Kenma could have asked for on a Friday night. After his psychology class, he was able to get some of his homework done, grab a quick dinner from the café, and then finish his homework, all before 8pm.

When midnight struck, he had to make a caffeine run. Unfortunately, there was no way he could sneak out without the notice of Kuroo, who was working security.

“Whoa, whoa, where the hell do you think you’re going this late?” Kuroo asked as Kenma pushed through the door.

“I need an energy drink,” Kenma said, leaning against the table Kuroo was sitting at. “I’d make you come with me, but there’s no way I’ll make it until four.”

“Can’t you get something at the front desk?”

“They don’t have my favorite kind.”

“Uggghhh, Kenma. You’re killing me. You shouldn’t go walking around this late at night on a _Friday.”_

“Kuroo,” Kenma stared blankly. “It’s a four block walk. I think I’ll be okay.”

“Hang on, Bokuto was going to grab me a pizza. I’ll ask him to pick up an energy drink for you. And then you can sit down here with me. You’re just playing on your PSP, right?”

Kenma hesitated. Despite the fact that he _loved_ having the room to himself, it was kind of…lonely.

“I don’t want him to go out of his way.”

“Say no more!” Kuroo grinned, pulling out his phone. “What kind do you like?”

“It’s an orange Rockstar.”

“Right on-BRO!” Kuroo boomed into his phone, causing Kenma to look around nervously.  
Bro, can you grab an energy drink for Kenma before you get here? He said the orange Rockstar.” Loud exclaims could be heard on the other end. “Glad to hear he has good taste.” Kuroo winked at Kenma. “Cool, see you soon.” He hung up and set his phone down, looking back at Kenma. “He should be here in less than half an hour, if you want to just pull up a chair and wait?”

Kenma nodded and pulled one of the chairs closer to the table, settling down before pulling his PSP out of his sweatshirt pocket.

“You brought that down with you?” Kuroo asked, his arm resting around Kenma’s shoulders.

“Yeah. I was going to play it as I walked to the gas station.”

“Kenma!” Kuroo gasped. “You were going to play that while walking in the dark? You wouldn’t be able to pay attention to your surroundings! What if a bushman jumped out and attacked you?”

Kenma rolled his eyes. “I’ve never been assaulted by a stranger hopping out of the bushes. Besides, the road is well lit. And nobody would _want_ to attack me.”

“Well, I never,” Kuroo crossed one leg over the other. “You ever hear of someone who went out at night and _expected_ to get attacked?”

He had a point. “Well, I can’t expect Bokuto to make energy drink runs for me all the time. What should I do then?”

Kuroo tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Guess I’ll just have to stock you up during the day.”

“I don’t need you to do that.”

Kuroo shrugged, smirking down at Kenma. “We’ll see about that.”

A small buzzing came from overhead, and Kuroo shot up. “Kuto!” he exclaimed running to the front doors. He opened it up, and Bokuto came bustling in, arms full of snacks and beverages.

“Bro!” he grinned, handing Kuroo a six pack of Kenma’s energy drinks. “I figured you’d want something more than pizza to get you through the night, so I picked up some of your favorites.”

“You’re too good to me, bro,” Kuroo said, clutching at his heart.

“Kenma! I hope this is enough?” he asked, setting the case on the table.

“Um…it’s more than enough.” Kenma turned a bit red, pulling a ten out of his pocket. “Here, that should cover it-”

Bokuto waved it off. “I got it this time. It’s only a small price to pay for entertaining Kuroo tonight. Otherwise I will get boring snapchats of him begging for entertainment or some shit.”

“Come on, you love it,” Kuroo chided. “Hey, don’t leave Akaashi waiting in the car. You know he likes to be in bed early.”

“Psh,” Bokuto snorted. “Not tonight. We got the apartment to ourselves for the next few hours, you really think we’re going to spend our time sleeping?” He wiggled his eyebrows, and Kuroo only grinned.

“As I said, don’t leave him waiting!”

“Right right, okay. I’ll see you when you get home, then. Have a good night, Kenma!” he said, and he was out the door.

Kenma immediately opened the case of energy drinks and cracked one open. Kuroo lifted the flap on the pizza box and grabbed a slice.

“Don’t burn yourself again,” Kenma warned, taking a swig.

“Have no fear, Kenma my dear,” he replied, blowing on the tip of his slice. “I’m not as ravenous as I was the other night, so I do have a bit more patience.”

Kenma snorted, his eyes going back to his game.

“What game is that?” Kuroo asked, pulling Kenma’s chair closer to his. He wrapped his arm around Kenma’s shoulders again, but this time, Kenma was right up against his side.

“Final Fantasy Crisis Core.” Kenma replied as a cut scene occurred. “It’s the prequel to Final Fantasy 7.”

“Whaaa?” Kuroo asked, frowning down at the screen. “I didn’t know they had a prequel! Is that Zack?”

Kenma’s heart fluttered with excitement. “Yeah. It shows his entire backstory. And it goes through how Sephiroth came to be.”

“No way. I can’t believe it.”

Kenma nodded. “It’s kind of old, but I could never bring myself to play it. I mean, we already know how it ends, but that doesn’t make it any less sad.”

Kuroo nodded, taking another bite of pizza. “I think it makes it worse, knowing that he’s going to die. They’re gonna make the guy grow on you, and you’re fully aware of his future. But that won’t stop you from trying to do anything to change it, I guess.”

“Mm. He kinda reminds me of you,” Kenma said quietly.

“How so?”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t really look like you, but he’s excitable. Caring. Dedicated to his work. Just little things like that.”

“Aww, are you getting sentimental on me?” Kuroo asked, burrowing into Kenma’s neck.

“No, shut up.” Kenma cringed, trying to pull away. “Forget I said that, Zack isn’t annoying like you are.”

Kuroo laughed and sat back up, going in for another piece of pizza. “You don’t really think that.”

“Do too.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.” Kenma said, a little edge to his voice.

Kuroo sat quietly as two boys walked through the door.

“Kuroo!” one of them exclaimed, digging in his pocket for his ID. “I thought Kiyoko was gonna be here tonight but instead I get to see your ugly mug?”

“Piss off, Terushima, you know how wild your heart gets whenever you see me.”

“Ha!” Terushima snorted, showing Kuroo his ID, though he didn’t deny Kuroo’s remark. “Who’s this?” he asked, looking over at Kenma. “Trainee?”

“Nah, he’s just keeping me company throughout the night.” Kuroo reached out and checked the other guys ID. “Kenma, this is Terushima and Numajiri. They play volleyball with us every so often.”

“Nice to meet you, Kenma!” Terushima grinned, extending his hand. Kenma shook it lightly, returning the introduction. Numajiri did the same, though it was clear that he just wanted to go to his room and fall asleep.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Terushima asked Kuroo.

“I got a date with this kid,” Kuroo smiled, elbowing Kenma in the side.

“Oooohhh shit! I didn’t know you’s were dating!”

Kuroo nodded, and Kenma tried to slink back in his chair. “Good thing you got to him first, or else I’d have snagged him up in a heartbeat!” Terushima grinned, winking at Kenma.

“Don’t flirt with my boyfriend in front of me, breeder,” Kuroo scolded playfully.

“Come on, don’t whip out the slurs! He’s cute enough for my standards.” He leaned over the table across from Kenma. “You ever get sick of this old git, you come find me, you hear?” he laughed.

Kenma said nothing and looked back to his game.

Kuroo busted out laughing. “Aw, man. If you had any chance with him before, you just blew it completely.”

Terushima shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled, defeated. “Ah. All’s well that ends well. Alright, we need to get up to our room or else Jiri here is going to drool all over your floor.” He nudged his roommate playfully.

“Touch me again and I’ll break your arm,” Numajiri muttered, shoving Terushima towards the hallway.

“Night, guys,” Kuroo waved, receiving only a small grumble back from them. He looked to Kenma, who had wrapped himself back up in his game.

“You alright?” he asked, wrapping his arm around him.

“Yeah.” Kenma said quietly. “It’s just too late in the night to deal with loud people like that.”

“Oh,” Kuroo retracted his arm. “You don’t have to stay here with me if you’re that tired, you know.”

Kenma continued to click away but responded, “You don’t annoy me.”

“Excuse me?!” Kuroo yelped. “You just called me annoying five minutes ago!”

“Just because you’re annoying doesn’t mean you annoy me,” Kenma informed him. “You do things that I find annoying, but they don’t necessarily annoy me.”

“That makes no sense.” Kuroo grumbled, opening up a bag of potato chips.

Kenma sighed. “The things you say and do would annoy me if they came from someone else but because it’s you, it doesn’t really bother me.”

A grin creeped across Kuroo’s face, and he buried it into Kenma’s neck again. “Something like this?” he asked, blowing raspberries on Kenma’s neck.

“Yes!” Kenma exclaimed, trying to fight him off. Kuroo only held onto him tighter, until both of them were breathless and laughing.

“Good to know,” Kuroo said, grabbing a handful of chips.

Kenma continued to play his game, though he couldn’t help but smile as he did.

 

Kuroo had pulled up a movie on his laptop, but a half an hour before his shift ended, he began to fall asleep, his head drooping down onto his chest.

“Kuroo.” Kenma said, giving him a nudge. “You’re going to have a sore neck if you do that.”

Kuroo snapped his head up and rubbed his face. “Fuck. This shift is going on _forever._ I’m gonna fall asleep at the wheel when I drive home!”

“I’m the one whose been up for two days straight,” Kenma mumbled.

“Fuck! You’re right.” He slapped his face, as if that would help him wake up.

“You know…” Kenma began, his heart rate picking up. “Hinata isn’t here tonight. Why don’t you just stay over?”

Kuroo raised his eyebrows. “Really? It’s not that long of a drive, I’m just over exaggerating.”

Kenma shrugged. “We have a futon. I don’t mind. Just thought I would throw out the offer.”

“Yessss!” Kuroo hissed excitedly. “Kenma, I would be _honored_ to sleep with you tonight.”

Kenma glared up at him. “ _You_ sleep on the futon. I have my own bed.”

“Come on, you don’t want to snuggle me?” Kuroo asked.

“...only if we’re going to snuggle. I’m too tired to do anything else.”

“Kenma!” Kuroo gasped. “I am _astonished_ that you think I would go any further. Tonight, at least” he winked. “No promises about tomorrow.”

Kenma only scoffed at him, but he couldn’t help but wonder what sex would be like with Kuroo. Would Kuroo change his mind once he physically faced the fact that Kenma had a vagina? No, he wasn’t like that. He said that didn’t bother him, and Kenma believed him. But he couldn’t’ help but wonder if that were completely true.

When Kuroo’s shift ended, he cleaned up the small mess that had been made and followed Kenma up to his room. Before Kenma could say anything, Kuroo pulled the futon out and flopped down, rolling up in the blanket that was laying on top.

“You’re like a big cat,” Kenma groaned, pulling a blanket off of his bunk.

“I know,” Kuroo smiled, scooting over as Kenma turned the lights off and slid in beside him.

Kuroo arm automatically wrapped around Kenma’s waist, his head coming to rest on Kenma’s chest. His hand goes to Kuroo’s hair, running lightly through the tangles as he tries to fall asleep.

“Kenma?” Kuroo asked after a few minutes. “You…should take your binder off.”

“It’s fine,” Kenma defended.

Kuroo was silent for a moment. “I know. But just in case…you know it’s not going to bother me right?” he lifted his head, catching Kenma’s gaze. “I need you to know this right now. Nothing about your body could ever bother me.”

Kenma’s heart caught in his throat. “I know. But they bother _me._ It’s harder to get comfortable without my bindings than it is while wearing them. It’ll just be worse with someone right next to me.”

“But you’re still uncomfortable with them on, right?” Kuroo frowned.

Kenma shrugged. “It’s not so bad. I take them off when I shower and I’ll sleep without them every three or four nights. So I think I get a good break from them.”

Kuroo’s expression remained unchanged. “Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?”

“Well…” Kenma licked his dry lips. “Can you…not put your head on my chest?”

Kuroo nodded immediately. “Of course.” He  leaned forward and pressed his lips to Kenma’s. “Anything else?” he breathed, scooting over to give Kenma more space.

Kenma’s heart beat fast. “I still want you close.” He admitted. “Just…not constricting.”

“Okay,” Kuroo nuzzled his face into Kenma’s neck, resting one arm across Kenma’s waist, the other underneath his pillow. Slowly, he slid his leg over and between Kenma’s.

In all honestly, they were a tangled mess. But Kenma leaned his head back, letting one hand cup the back of Kuro’s head, the other twinging with Kuroo’s at his waist.

“Is this comfortable?” Kuroo breathed hotly onto his neck.

“Very.” Kenma replied, swallowing hard. His heart was beginning to slow down, and he could feel himself start to fall asleep. Before he knocked out, he gave a squeeze to Kuroo’s hand and mumbled, “Thank you.”

 

A sleeping Kenma was the cutest Kenma that Kuroo had ever seen. His face was completely at ease, his mouth slightly parted, with small, barely audible snores coming from it.

 _God_ he liked him.

He nuzzled deeper into Kenma’s neck, realizing that this was becoming his favorite past time. He thought about the previous night, and it worried him that Kenma slept with his bindings on this frequently. He made a mental note to do more research on things like that.

He also had a few questions for Bokuto and Akaashi.

After a few minutes of lying there, Kuroo came to the conclusion that he was not going to fall back asleep. Slowly, carefully, he peeled himself away from Kenma and pulled his phone off of the charger.

It was almost ten a.m, and he didn’t want to wake Kenma, since he needed the rest much more than Kuroo did, but he _really_ had to pee. He swung one leg over Kenma, not touching him once as he hopped off of the futon and quietly let himself out, making sure to keep the door propped open just a crack.

When he returned from the bathroom, Kenma was sitting up on the futon, the blanket wrapped tightly around him as he scrolled through his phone.

“Did I wake you up? Kuroo asked, sitting on the corner.

“I got cold,” Kenma yawned. “I was just about to text you and ask why you left without saying goodbye.”

“Aww, I would never do that!” Kuroo whined, crawling over to rest his head in Kenma’s lap. “Did you sleep okay?”

Kenma nodded. “My back is a little sore, but it’ll be fine. What about you?”

“Best sleep I’ve had in _ages,”_ Kuroo grinned. “Wanna go get breakfast?”

“I was just going to warm up some pizza.”

“What?! No, I refuse to let you eat pizza at ten a.m.”

“You’re the one who was eating it at _four_ a.m,” Kenma scorned. “It’s rainy and dreary, don’t make me walk outside in that.”

Kuroo hadn’t even noticed that it was drizzling outside. His gut churned. “Damn. I didn’t see that.”

Kenma nodded. “You don’t like the rain?”

“It’s not the rain so much as the stuff that comes with it.”

“…thunder and lightning?”

Kuroo cringed. “Thunder.”

“Oh.” Kenma said simply. “Are you…afraid of it?”

Kuroo buried his face into Kenma’s lap, his voice muffled by the blanket. “Sorta.”

Kenma ran his hand through Kuroo’s hair. “Don’t be ashamed of that. Thunder can be loud and scary sometimes.”

“It’s not that I find it _scary_ ,” Kuroo admitted sitting up. “It just makes me nervous. But hey, I’m going to head out then. Gotta shower and get ready for our date. And I think you should take a nap before we meet up later.” He hopped off of the futon and pulled his shoes out from underneath it. “You didn’t get enough sleep to make up for the hours you’ve lost.”

Kenma waved his hand, looking back at his phone. “I’ll be fine.”

“Whatever you saayy~. I’ll be back around four to pick you up for our date?”

Kenma nodded. “This restaurant better be as good as you made it out to be,” he challenged, quirking a smile at Kuroo.

“It’s delicious, I _promise,_ ” Kuroo grinned, leaning down to kiss Kenma. “See you,” he said, and turned to leave.

 

He drove home quickly, hoping that the thunder stayed at bay, and wasn’t going to ruin his night with Kenma.

As he entered his apartment, Akaashi was just getting ready to leave.

“Can we talk when you get home?” Kuroo asked, holding the door open for him.

“What about?” Akaashi frowned, pulling his jacket up to his chin.

“About Kenma. And some…stuff.”

“I have a moment right now, if you’d like.”

Kuroo nodded, shutting the door and leaning back against it. “How often should he have his bindings on?”

Akaashi hummed. “It kind of varies, depending on the size of his chest. If he’s bigger, then he’ll have to bind tighter. He really shouldn’t wear them for more than eight hours a day, but when I used to wear them, I wouldn’t ever take them off.”

“Wasn’t it hard to breathe?”

“Indeed,” Akaashi sighed. “You can’t do anything physical with them on, and smoking is a huge no-no.”

“I figured,” Kuroo said quietly. “How can I…make him more comfortable? So that he can at least sleep without wearing them?”

“To be honest, it might be hard. It took me almost a month to let Bokuto be around me without wearing them. But if I wore them, we couldn’t do anything intimate. I would run out of breath too quickly and feel like I was going to pass out.”

“So…no sex,” Kuroo stated. “Until I can get him to take them off?”

“It really depends, Kuroo,” Akaashi shrugged. “Everybody is different, but I feel like Kenma is very modest. He may never feel comfortable with them off, and it might take a very long time until he’s comfortable with you ever being near his vagina.”

“Ugghhh.” Kuroo rubbed his face.

“Kuroo…” Akaashi scratched at the back of his head, his face turning red. “Kenma might not let you touch him like that for a long time. But he’s probably going to feel obligated to do stuff for you. I know how you are. You like to make sure all parties are equal during sex. But if he does stuff to you, don’t guilt him into letting you do stuff to him, okay?”

“That feels so rude, though,” Kuroo groaned. “I don’t want him to do all the work and not feel good out of it.”

Akaashi shrugged. “Maybe you should talk to Bokuto about this a little bit more. He’s the one who went through this first hand.”

Kuroo nodded and opened the door for Akaashi again. “Right. Thanks, man. Have a good day at work.”

Akaashi nodded and stepped through the door, drawing his hood to keep dry from the rain.

“BOKUTO!” Kuroo yelled. “ARE YOU AWAKE?”

A low groan could be heard from Bokuto and Akaashi’s bedroom, and Kuroo jogged down the hall.

“I’m coming in, I hope your nuts aren’t out!” Kuroo announced, pushing through the door.

Bokuto was in his gold and white boxers, face down and spread eagle on the bed. “Not like you haven’t seen them before,” he grumbled. “What’s up?”

“What’s it like to have sex with a vagina?” he asked bluntly, leaning against the doorframe.

“Oh ho?” Bokuto hooted. “You’re already planning on doing the do?”

Kuroo rolled his eyes. “No. I mean…I can’t say that I haven’t _thought_ about it, but…I don’t know. I want him to be comfortable around me. How did you do it with Akaashi?”

“Well…I don’t know, man. We didn’t have, like, penetrative sex until a month into us dating. He gave me a blowjob a week in, but refused to let me do anything in return. It made me feel shitty, like he wasn’t feeling good out of it, but he told me that he liked to make me feel good. It was a little while after that where he let me finger him, but it was in the dark- he _refused_ to let me see it. Then I ate him out once, and he never had a problem with me seeing him afterwards. We just had to ease into it.” Bokuto frowned up at him. “It’s not going to be the same with Kenma, though, Kuroo. He and Akaashi are similar, but they’re not the same. He might be ready in a week, or it might take him a few months. Hell, who’s to say he will _ever_ be comfortable, depending on how self-conscious he is?”

Kuroo sighed, walking over to the bed before flopping on top of it. “I want him _so bad._ Like, I’m down with waiting. But I don’t want to wait because he like, hates his vagina or something. I want him to think he’s as beautiful as I think he is.”

Bokuto chuckled. “God, you’ve got it bad, you big ole nerd.”

“Stooop,” Kuroo buried his face into Bokuto’s pillow. “He didn’t even want to sleep without his bindings last night. And we were fully clothed.”

Bokuto sat up. “So? Akaashi wore his binder up until he had surgery. He was smaller chested, but he refused to keep them off. I mean…he took them off when we were banging, but even then he just…hated the way they moved. He hated that they jiggled, and he _hated_ when I grabbed them. Sometimes it would turn him totally off and we would stop right in the middle of everything.” He crossed his legs and propped his chin on his fist. “I wish I could be more helpful to you, but the best thing to do would be to just _go_ with it. If he doesn’t like something, he’ll let you know.”

“Do you think so?”

Bokuto nodded vigorously. “He doesn’t seem like the type who wouldn’t say something if it were hurting him. But…he also seems like the type who’s guilted into things. And I know how you are, so be careful with that.”

“What do you mean ‘how I am?’” Kuroo asked defensively.

“You know what I mean,” Bokuto backtracked. “You’re a big dummy, but you do this stupid poppy-dog thing when you want something, and that makes a guy feel guilty.”

“Why am I just hearing about this _now?_ ” Kuroo asked. “I don’t believe you. I’m gonna ask Oikawa and Iwa.” He pulled out his phone immediately and called them.

 _“Kuroo?”_ Iwa answered.

“Yo, Iwa, my man. Do I have a puppy-dog look when I want something?”

“Ha!” Iwaizumi snorted. “Yeah you do. It’s fucking annoying.”

 _“It’s cuuute!”_ Oikawa sounded in the background. _“Give me the phone, Iwa-chan. Kuroo, your puppydog eyes are to die for, trust me!”_ he giggled.

“I’m so upset right now.” Kuroo slouched.

_“It’s not a bad thing.”_

“Have I ever guilted you into doing something you didn’t really want to do?”

The line was silent.

“OIKAWA!” Kuroo yelled.

_“Sorry, sorry. I wouldn’t say that you made us do things that we didn’t want to do. More like…you made us think that we wanted to do those things. You’re really persuasive. Like, if you told me that hiking while wearing a suit of armor in a lightning storm was a good idea, I’d end up going along with it.”_

“That was an awful analogy,” Kuroo grumbled. “But thanks. I gotta go, byeee.” He hung up quickly, not wanting to explain himself to them.

“Sooo…yeah. Persuasive.” Bokuto shrugged. “Which isn’t a _bad_ thing. Just…be careful, you feel me?”

Kuroo nodded dejectedly. “I’m gonna go shower,” he said, slinking off of the bed.

“Brooo, don’t be like that!” Bokuto laughed, following behind him.

“I’m a manipulative piece of trash,” Kuroo sighed, grabbing a towel from his room.

“Brooo!” Bokuto yelled once more before Kuroo locked himself in the bathroom.

Was he really manipulative? Did Kenma see him that way? God, _why_ were _feelings_ so _damn_ annoying?

He decided there was only one way to find out.

**Do you think I’m manipulative?**

_Excuse me?_

**Bokuto said I was persuasive.**

_Persuasive, yeah. But not manipulative._

**What’s the difference?**

_Manipulative means making someone do something that they don’t want to do. Persuasive means convincing someone that what they don’t want to do is the wrong thing to think, and they do it for the greater good._

**Still not following…**

_Okay. Manipulation: There’s a two for one melon sale at the grocery store. You tell an old lady to buy the melon and give the free one to you. She doesn’t really want the melon, but you tell her that it’s such a good deal, and since you need a melon, she can buy one for herself and then give you the free one. She caves and buys the melons- you controlled her thought process and made her think she was doing the right thing. Persuasion: Informing the old lady that melons are good for her. You reason with her, and tell her that she can get two melons for the price of one, and she can share the melons with her friends and family, because the melons are delicious and everybody loves them. Manipulation is done selfishly with ulterior motives. Persuasion is done when you genuinely believe you’re doing the right thing._

**So…**

_Bokuto is right. You’re persuasive. You’re kind hearted. What you do isn’t done selfishly. Granted, you could be getting something out of it, but you mainly want to see others happy._

Kuroo sighed, slightly relieved. He liked that Kenma was able to pull him away from his negative thoughts.

_…why did Bokuto say this, anyways?_

Kuroo swallowed hard. Well, he promised Kenma honesty…

**I was talking about how I wouldn’t mind having sex with you, even if it’s early in our relationship, and he told me that I’m the type who would convince you that you want to do it, even if you don’t actually want to.**

Was that too much? Too honest, too fast? He bit his lip, waiting for a response. Five minutes later, he got

_Lol_

His face turned beat red and cranked the hot water onto high. Fucking LOL? What did that _mean?_

His phone went off again, and he nervously peeked at it.

_Nobody can make me do something I don’t want to do. My parents are an exception, of course, but sexually, I’m not going to dance on your dick if I’m not in the mood._

No. No, no, no, Kenma did _not_ just say “dance on your dick.” Kuroo face burned even more. Was this guy even real?

_Sorry, that was uncharacteristic of me. I’m tired, it kind of slipped out. Forget I said that._

**Not gonna happen. Now the only way we can bang is if we refer to it as dancing on the dick.**

_And what makes you so sure that your dick is always going to be involved?_

NO NO NO NO, were they _sexting?_ Kuroo had sexted before, but Kenma seemed so innocent, so pure. Had he even cursed around Kuroo at all?!

**…Curtsying on the clit?**

_Gross_

**Twisting on the twat?**

_Please stop_

**WAIT NO**

**PRANCING ON THE PUSS**

_Congrats on ruining your chances of getting laid. I thought I would treat you tonight, but that’s a bust._

Kuroo was grinning now, trying not to laugh too loudly for fear of peaking Bokuto’s curiosity.

**Jokes on you, I don’t fuck on the first date.**

_So you would deny me if I wanted it?_

**I**

**I am so sorry. I totally wouldn’t have the self restraint.**

**That’s what I thought.**

**I’m going to take a little nap before you pick me up. Call me before you leave, just in case I don’t wake up in time?**

_Sure thing. See you soon, babe :*_

Kuroo finally stripped and hopped into the shower. Hot water trailed down his body, and his fingers immediately lingered over the scars that adorned his thighs. All of his other partners never pried into this part of Kuroo’s past, but he _knew_ Kenma was going to. But…how was he supposed to bring something like this up? And when? He knew it wasn’t going to be something that bothered Kenma to see, but the reasoning behind it would.

But then he thought about the way Kenma spoke, the way he made Kuroo’s gut coil in a happy form of anxiety, and he knew that it would be okay.

He would be okay. _They_ would be okay.

 

 

When Kenma woke up from his nap and scrolled through his texts, he felt like throwing himself off of a ten story building. _Why_ was Kuroo so easy to talk to?!

Oh God.

Dance on the dick?!

He groaned loudly and buried his face into his pillow. There was no way Kuroo was going to let him forget saying that.

He sighed and slid to the end of his bed and climbed down the ladder. He had taken his bindings off before he showered, and he had to put them on, so he stripped his shirt off and began to wind them tightly around his chest. He was still tender, and he knew that he _really_ needed to get an actual binder, because this shit was ridiculous.

He began to dig through his closet, hoping to find something nice to wear, but came to realization that nothing he owned was. They were all ratty clothes that he managed to snag from other people, or secret gifts from Hinata’s parents. Most of it was just comfortable and baggy, which is what he liked, but he wanted to actually look nice for Kuroo.

Which was a first. He had never even dressed up for Lev when they dated.

He gave up and began to shuffle through Hinata’s clothes, knowing he wouldn’t have a problem if Kenma borrowed something for the night. He settled for a loose gray cardigan that buttoned halfway up, with a white t-shirt underneath. Hinata’s jeans didn’t fit him _at all_ , so he just settled for a pair of his own, slightly tight, black skinny jeans.

He checked himself out in the mirror, wondering if the jeans emphasized his thighs and hips too much.

After a huff of breath, he decided to go with it.

His phone dinged from his bed.

**Yo yo yo, you awake?**

_Yes, I just got dressed._

**Awww, for me? You don’t have to do that ;)**

_You’re an idiot._

**Well, this idiot will be there in five minutes!**

**_What do you even drive?_ **

_Ahhh, it’s a black Cobalt. There’s red detailing on the side, you won’t miss it_ _J_

Kenma slipped his phone into his front pocket and his wallet into a back one. After applying a generous amount of deodorant and a splash of cologne, he let himself out the door.

For once, the weather was _perfect._ The sun was shining so it was warm, but the air was cool with the crispness of fall. He passed over the sidewalk and stopped at the road that went through campus, waiting patiently as he clicked away on his phone.

A car quietly pulled over to the curb in front of him, and Kenma couldn’t help but think of how _painfully_ similar the car was to Kuroo. Clean, sleek, and slightly edgy.

“Hey cutie,” Kuroo grinned as Kenma slid in. “How are you?”

Kenma rolled his eyes and buckled his seat belt. “Still a little tired, but I feel really good.”

“Aww, you should have told me! I could have let you sleep for a little while longer, you know.”

Kenma waved his hand, and Kuroo put his car into drive. “I’ll make up for it tomorrow. How are you, by the way?” Kenma asked, examining Kuroo’s profile carefully.

“I’m just _dandy._ ” Kuroo flashed a grin at Kenma. “I’m super excited for dinner. Are you hungry?”

Kenma nodded. “I forgot to heat up the pizza this morning, so I haven’t eaten yet.”

“Kenma!” Kuroo exclaimed. “You can’t just _forget_ to eat. That’s like…forgetting to poop, or forgetting to jerk off!”

Kenma blushed and faced the window.

“Ohh, what?” Kuroo reached over and gave his knee a squeeze. “Do you prefer dancing on the dick to masturbating?”

Kenma swatted his hand away and replied irritably, “I don’t think very straight when I’m running on barely any sleep, _Tetsurou.”_

Kuroo snorted a laugh. “Shit. God, you’re cute. But don’t call me Tetsurou too often, you’re going to solidify my nethers, and we’ve got a big night ahead of us.”

“Solify-oh my god.” Kenma buried his face into his hands. “You’re disgusting.”

Kuroo only laughed harder, resting his hand on Kenma’s knee once again.

Instead of swatting at it, Kenma twined his fingers with Kuroo’s and enjoyed the peaceful ride to a family restaurant across town.

 

“Booth or a table?” the hostess greeted as she grabbed two bundles of silverware.

“Booth, please,” Kuroo replied immediately with a grin. “If there’s one that’s kind of isolated, that would be great. My date is a super loud laugher, and I’m an incredibly funny guy.”

“Your date bailed and you’re stuck with me,” Kenma replied. “Something about you being too bland.”

The hostess chuckled and Kuroo slung his arm over Kenma’s shoulders. “Come onnnn,” he whined. “Why you gotta be so hurtful?”

The waitress set the silverware down on a booth table that was in the corner of the restaurant. “Your waitress will be here shortly,” she said with a polite smile before returning to her podium. Kenma sat on one bench and slid in, and Kuroo sat right next to him, shoving him further.

“What- _no_ we are _not_ going to be that awkward couple that sits next to each other rather than across,” Kenma shot, trying to push Kuroo out with his hips.

Kuroo laughed and moved to the opposite bench, smiling widely. “You’re so feisty.”

“I wouldn’t have to be feisty if you weren’t so embarrassing,” Kenma chided.

“Well, I’ll be. I’ve never done an embarrassing thing in my entire life.”

“Mm, okay. Whatever you say, Kuro.”

The waitress appeared with two waters, menus, and two small bowls of bread pudding. “Can I get you two anything to drink?”

“Water is good for me, thank you.” Kenma replied.

Kuroo, on the other hand, was insatiable. “Umm, actually, can I get a coffee? And a Coke. And an iced tea?”

The waitress agreed, though she didn’t bother to hide her confusion.

Before Kenma could question him, Kuroo asked, “Why do you call me that, by the way? Kuro. Not that it bothers me. Just wondering.”

Kenma shrugged. “I don’t really know. The night I met you…you were so flirty and full of yourself, I didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of calling you by your full name, So I just cut it short.”

“You’re something else,” Kuroo grinned. “Oh! Hey, try this bread pudding. It _literally_ tastes like Christmas.”

“Christmas doesn’t have a taste, it’s a holiday.”

“Kenma. Kenma, Kenma, my dear sweet _darling,_ of _course_ Christmas has a taste! And a smell! Just try it, you’ll see what I mean.”

Kenma rolled his eyes and scraped a spoonful out. “Oh,” he said after taking a bite. “I suppose…it does taste a little like Christmas.”

“Yes!” Kuroo grinned. “Isn’t it good? I mean, it’s kind of rich, but still.”

“Why do they serve bread pudding right away here..?”

“I don’t know. It’s their signature thing, I guess,” he chuckled. “A few Christmases ago, my parents and I were on really bad terms, so I didn’t go home to see them. I stayed here. A lot of people had gone home for the holidays, so it was kind of lonely. I was too young to go to the bars, so I drove around until I found a nice place that was open. It was a bitter and cold Christmas, so not many people were out and about. I came here, and the waitress was so damn nice. She gave me a big bowl of this pudding, and told me that I would always have a place here. I don’t know why it hit me so hard, but I…was really happy. Kind of a cheesy story, but yeah.”

Kenma heart sank into his gut. “Aren’t you on good terms with your parents?”

“Yeah. Now we are. Apparently my brothers and sisters were so upset that I didn’t come home. The ones who were old enough to understand what happened refused to open their presents until I was there to do it with them. God, my mom and dad were _sooooo_ pissed. They called me and apologized. Said that they don’t approve of my lifestyle, but they weren’t going to give up on me.”

The waitress returned with their drinks (the whole platter full) and took their order.

“I’m going all out today. I’ll take your finest grilled salted mackerel pike!” Kuroo announced proudly.

She nodded and scribbled it down, then looked expectantly at Kenma. “Uhh, chicken tenders and french fries, please.”

The waitress nodded once more before giving them a smile and a, “I’ll put that in right away for ya!” before gathering their menus and scampering off.

“How many brothers and sisters do you have?” Kenma asked curiously, taking a sip of his water.

“Well, I’m the oldest. For a while, my parents thought that there were never going to be any more children. Then they had my twin brother and sister, who are 16 now. I also have four other sisters, who are 13, 5, 4 and one on the way. And two more brothers, who are 8 and 6. Sooo yeah. Seven, going on eight.”

“Damn. I never would have thought that.”

“Yeah. It’s never a dull moment, that’s for sure.” Kuroo steeped a chai tea bag in his coffee. “How about you?”

“Ah. Just…an older brother.”

“Why do you sound so mysterious about that?”

“I haven’t heard from him in a long time. He does work for the Peace Corps, which isn’t ideal for my parents. They say he’s wasting his time and all that. He doesn’t have access to internet or anything, so I can’t contact him that way, and he never responds to my letters. I think he just kind of…gave up on us.”

“Maybe your parents intercepted the letters?” Kuroo suggested. “I feel like you would have gotten _something_ back from him at some point.”

“I thought about that. It’s just…too late to go back now. Like I said, I haven’t talked to him in over three years.”

“What are your parents like? I mean I know that they’re shit, but…”

“Ah. Well…they’re both children of military families. They met when they were younger on a military base. After each of their families moved, they stayed in contact. When they were old enough to be on their own, they found each other and rekindled their friendship. It’s like, some great and grand love story. They had my brother, and then me three years later. We looked like a storybook family. I was treated better than my brother, but mainly because he always took the fall for me. After he left, they didn’t have him to bully, so it fell on me,” Kenma shook his head. “It’s all kind of dark, I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk about it.”

“I don’t mind.” Kuroo said, folding his arms over the table. “I want to know. If you’re willing to share, then…I really want to know.

Kenma blushed, but he was grateful. “Okay. Well, when was 17, and they forced me into a relationship with a guy who had just graduated college. They started to make all these plans…said he and I were going to get married, and that I didn’t really need to go to college because he was going to provide for me. Essentially, they were just trying to keep me as “womanly” as possible. They thought it would fix me. The guy and I were never alone, but the first time we were…well, you know. We didn’t go far. I could tell that something was off with him. He didn’t like touching me, didn’t like looking at me. And then he started to just _sob._ Apparently he was gay, and his own parents were threatening to cut him off if he didn’t marry a girl. But he told me he couldn’t do it. He wasn’t going to force me into it, and he wasn’t going to force himself. When we broke it off, my parents were furious. They locked me in a windowless room and took out the lightbulbs so I was forced to stay in the dark. I guess that was supposed to fix things? Anyways, I pretended that it worked, and they’ve believed it since then.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Kenma.” Kuroo breathed. “I had no idea…Jesus. So then what?”

“I graduated. But they weren’t ready to let me go off to a university, so I went to the local technical college. After a year there, I went to a university about an hour away. I thought I was going to be able to express myself. But I couldn’t. The queer community was small. I started to date Lev during my first semester, and it wasn’t actually all that bad. He was nice, just…exhausting. Like taking care of a giant baby. You kind of know the gist of our relationship. It was a good breakup. We still talk here and there, but it’s just him checking on me.” He nervously began to pick at the corner of his paper placemat. “Then…I came here. And now you know my entire life story.”

Kuroo shook his head. “I’m just…stunned. Like…looking at you, you’d think you had a pretty decent life. But holy shit.”

“I know. Kind of raw stuff to bring up on a first date, but…”

“Hey,” Kuroo scolded, giving Kenma a light kick. “I like knowing this kind of stuff. About your past. And about you. It helps me…put your character into perspective.”

“I suppose so,” Kenma nodded. “Other than Shouyou, you’re the only other person who knows this much about me. Even Lev…he didn’t know anything. You’re so easy to talk to, I can’t help but spill my guts every time.”

Kuroo smiled. “Good. I hope that never changes.”

The waitress came back with a tray full of food, and they began to eat in comfortable silence.

“So…question,” Kuroo said as they were finishing their last bites. “How good are you at mini golf?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :^) 
> 
> Tell me your thoughts? And give me a follow on kuroken-for-the-win.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah. I really like the idea of Kuroo being the type who wears his heart on his sleeve and he falls for all the wrong people...until some little shit (Kenma) shows up and changes that. I literally have 20+ chapters mapped out for this fic, so I hope ya'll stick with me through it all! You should subscribe so you can be updated whenever I post a chapter, or follow me on tumblr at kuroken-for-the-win.tumblr.com and I'll post all kinds of updates and shit. I also just really like to communicate with you all, so you should follow regardless :)
> 
> BY THE WAY THANK YOU TO SIPPINGTEA FOR BEING MY FLAWLESS, SPECTACULAR, BETA. WITHOUT YOU, I WOULD HAVE RELEASED A GARABGE CHAPTER!!!


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